Mallville - A Journal of the Zombie Apocalypse

Adrift

2011-10-05T13:15:00.000-07:00

Hey there.

Sorry there hasn't been much (any) new content in awhile, but I've been in a bit of a writing slump. When i have been writing, it has been non-Mallville related, because you can only spend so much time writing about the undead.

I do have a little something for you today though. A flash piece titled "Adrift" has been posted up as part of the Weekly Challenge over at Clever Fiction, and while it is not exactly a zombie story it is set in the Mallville universe (that sounds odd to say... as if the whole universe were centered around a commerce community), so feel free to go check that out.

Also, if you feel a little bit of a writing itch yourself, maybe submit your own entries into the weekly challenge.

"Dax Plays Faire"

2010-12-17T13:18:00.001-08:00

I know it has been a long time since I have added anything to this blog, and if you were hoping for some new Mallville news, I am afraid that this will disappoint you, as it is completely off topic. So what could possibly be so important that I would taunt you like this?

My short story, "Dax Plays Faire" has been recorded for broadcast by the fine people at "The Dunesteef Audio Fiction Magazine" as part of their "Broken Mirror Story Event", and it sounds fantastic. If you are unfamiliar with Dunesteef (and shame on you), they do not just read the stories, but do them as full audio dramas complete with sound effects and music, which is awesome.

So if you want to hear proof that I do in fact write things that do not involve zombies, then please go listen to "Dax Plays Faire".

As far as Mallville goes, I have taken a break from working on the re-write, but I am not abandoning it. I am currently working on a long piece called "Instant Noodles", I've also been working on other short stories, and a NaNoWriMo story. Once the first draft of "Instant Noodles" is complete (and it's about halfway now) I do plan to get back to work on Mallville (although I do have ideas for other short stories, including another couple potential Dax stories) and its re-write.

One last thing, to anyone who has found there way here from The Dunesteef's site: hello! If you are interested in reading Mallville, just click on the link to the first entry off to the right, and you'll be taken there (and away from the last chapter which appears right below this post). I hope you decide to check it out, and if you do, I hope you enjoy it.

Thanks for reading,
VOID

Fifty-Sixth Entry: Write Me A Letter

2010-05-18T04:47:00.000-07:00

March 3rd

Daniel,

Today is exactly six months from what some people call VZ day. Evie even unveiled a monument to the memory of everyone who lost their lives defending this town. Your name is on it, so is Gerry's. In total there are 142 names engraved on it.

I know that 142 really seems like a small number given what was at stake, but I would trade a hundred more lives if it meant that your name wasn't on there. I know, very Sith of me, right?

I miss you so much, and I wish we had had at least a little more time. There are things I wanted to tell you; things I wanted to show you, but we just ran out of time. This letter is going to be the best I ever get, I guess.

The monument really is beautiful. It's about ten feet tall, carved out of what I think is marble. It looks kind of like a white version of the monoliths from 2001. It's hard to look at all your names on it, all of you who gave everything so that the rest of us could live.

Why did you have to go back out there? You were hurt, you should have stayed in the hospital. You should have been there with me. You should have been the first person I saw when I woke up! You should be here now, Goddammit! Why did you have to leave me like that?

I'm sorry. I know why you did it. You did it because it was the right thing to do. You always did the right thing, no matter the risk to yourself. You did it no matter what it would cost you. You were as close to an actual good guy as I have ever known.

Evie gave a really nice speech, but she had to stop a few times because I think she was starting to cry too. Maybe Grimm was right, maybe she really didn't understand the stakes of it all, but she does now. Any illusions that anyone here had that we were somehow safe and outside of what happened to the rest of the world were permanently dispelled last fall.

When I was shot, I was so scared, I don't remember much of anything from that night, but I do remember being scared. To be honest, I spent a lot of last year afraid; I know you may not believe it, but I did. Losing you and fleeing Mallville really threw my head for a loop. If it wasn't for the people I was responsible for, and the fact that I knew that you had survived and were out there somewhere, I probably would have completely lost it. When I found out about you and Sharon, I guess I did kind of lose it though, huh?

The last memory I have of you is you carrying me through the rain, blood streaming down your face. You were injured too, but you put me first. Doctor Lester tells me that you saved my life; if you had gotten me to the ambulance any later, I probably would have died.

I know, you aren't the one who got me to the ambulance exactly, but if you hadn't gotten me to Gerry I would have died out there on the cold wet highway. He may have carried me the rest of the way, but it is you that saved me.

They tell me that I was unconscious for almost two days. When I woke up you were long gone; back to the fight to save people like me. The TV was on in my room down in the labs. I was sharing a room with a woman named Cricket, of all the goofy names.

When I woke up, I saw that you had left your satchel behind in my room. I know you said that it was because it would be easier to not have it with you, but I wonder if maybe you knew somehow. You wrote like there was still more to come, but I can't help but wonder.

I also wonder if I hadn't gotten hurt if you still would have gone. If I was still out there with you, or even if I had been awake when you left, could I have stopped you? In my most selfish moments I like to imagine that the you I loved would have put me first, but I suspect you would have gone ahead and done what you thought was the right thing.

The TV was the last place I saw you alive and whole. There were only a few hundred zeds left, and looking back, they probably could have been eliminated without using “The Big One”, but I don't blame Evie for her decision. I'm sure from where she sat it seemed like better option than letting that many of them get into town.

Toni was reporting that the bomb hadn't gone off as planned; she looked panicked, but that was probably as much a lack of sleep than anything. She may not have taken up arms and fought against the zombies with us, but it was just as rough on her and the rest of the people from the TV station.

“I'm being told that a group is being sent out to try and repair the bomb,” Toni said, a look of disbelief on her face, and in that moment she lost her professionalism and became the woman I cam to know, “Is that correct? That's... that's suicide!”

Toni was down in the labs with the rest of us. Everyone had been cleared from above ground for the detonation, and Toni was standing in front of a wall of TV screens, all showing footage from security cameras around town. Toni was replaced on screen by a shot from one of the cameras mounted on the east gate. You could see the trailer with the bomb on it a short way down the road.

The rain had finally let up, and it was bright and sunny, and you could actually see the end of the zombie mob. Unfortunately they had already surrounded the bomb's trailer. I guess Evie was afraid that using the remaining vortex cannons and microwave guns might set the bomb off anyway, that's what she told me later anyway. She spent a lot of time with me after, I mean she spent time with the families of everyone who died in the battle, but she seemed to spend more time with me. It was like she was afraid that I would blame her, but it was your decision in the end. I doubt she could have stopped you anymore than I could.

The TV switched to a shot at the edge of town, and it showed two snowplows driving towards the gate. There were a dozen people perched on the back of each, and I wish I could say I was surprised to see that you were on one of them.

We should have used the snowplows from the start, they did a great job of shunting the zombies off the side of the road and down the hill. I'm sure a number of them survived that initial fall, but it certainly cleared a path.

After you drove out of frame in town they switched back to the shot of the zeds slowly moving under the gate, and over the city line. They were now officially in Lovelock, even if they had not made it to town yet.

Suddenly there were zeds flying backwards as the first snowplow drove into frame, and I got a glimpse of you again as you went past. You were easy to pick out with that bandage wrapped around your head. You looked so heroic, the swords strapped to your back, the rifle in your arms. That's the Daniel Morris that saved my life twice, and it's the you that you never acknowledged in your diary.

Your whole book makes you out to be some sort of bumbling fool; if ever there was an unreliable narrator, it was you! You never understood how much of a hero you were, or just how much you took on yourself that you didn't need to.

The snowplows carved a path through the mob of zombies all the way to the trailer with the bomb on it. The plows themselves blocked a lot of the camera's view of what happened then, but I could see that some of you climbed out and onto the back of the trailer and were firing into the mob.

The person who actually re-armed the bomb was a scientist named Frasier Monroe. There were a tense couple of minutes where the TV was just showing you and Beth and Gerry, and other people just as brave as all of you keeping the zeds from climbing up onto the trailer. Like I said, the snowplows blocked a lot of the view, but I could see you and another man standing at the back of the trailer defending that edge.

I don't know what happened, if you ran out of bullets or your gun jammed, but you threw it aside at one point and pulled those swords. You may have looked a little ridiculous wearing them (especially over your coat), but you looked awesome using them. I was as proud of you as I was scared as you hacked at the zombies below you. You were a cross between Conan and Anakin Skywalker; you really looked like you knew what you were doing with those swords.

Monroe had finished what he was doing, and you all started climbing back onto the snowplows. I saw one woman lose her grip and fall into the mob that was now trying to climb up to get to you. Beth reached over to try and grab the woman, but you pulled her back before any of the zeds could grab her too.

The snowplows started moving forward, away from town and away from the camera, but then each made awkward three point turns and came toward and then under the camera, carving themselves a new path . In my memory I can hear the wet crunching of the zeds being run over, but I know that was not a sound coming out of the TV.

“They're coming back now!” Toni exclaimed, even through the shot of the bomb surrounded by zombies stayed on the screen, “It looks like they lost someone to the zeds, but they are coming back. Did they do it?”

Someone spoke to Toni, but only muffled noise came through the speaker.

“I'm being told yes! They have reset the bomb, and as soon as they're at a safe distance it will be detonat-”

The view of the bomb disappeared suddenly, replaced by static.

“What happened?” Toni said, puzzled. She wasn't speaking to her audience, but to someone in the room she was using as a studio. A second later a heavy vibration ran through the underground labs.

Toni was on the screen again, she looked puzzled and afraid, “Was that?”

It was. The bomb had gone off too soon, and for a few minutes no one knew what was happening. Toni looked like she was listening to someone talk in her ear, and then Regis Stone, the normal anchor came into frame. He looked like someone had just woken him up; his blond hair was a mess, and he had no makeup on causing him to look vaguely undead himself under the harsh lights.

Stone had his own microphone, and roughly pushed Toni out of frame, “We are being told that the device known as 'The Big One' has been activated early. We currently do not know if the team that went out to repair it made it away safely or not.”

I felt this heavy weight in my stomach as I waited. I think everyone in the labs who was near a TV was feeling the same way. Cricket was asleep, so I was essentially alone in my room, but as quiet as it was outside my room I could have been the only person in the entire underground vault.

As it turned out, the bomb worked perfectly, and with the exception of a few broken windows, there was no damage in town itself. Almost all of the zombies were destroyed in the explosion, or in the resulting rock slide which brought a good portion of the mountain down. They are still trying to dig the road out, but I suspect that most of what used to be road there is sitting amongst the rocks father down the mountainside. Still, it can be repaired somehow, someday.

Stone talked for a few minutes, despite his appearance, he seemed a lot more at home in front of the camera doing this kind of coverage than Toni did. I mean she was only a weather girl after all. No, I have no intention of ever letting her, or anyone else for the matter, read this.

“Wait!” Stone almost yelled, “We can see one of the trucks!”

The screen switched back to the camera that had shown you all driving out of town. A solitary snow plow with two flat tires was driving into town. The blade at the front was scraping on the pavement, and left gouges in the road surface as it went. There was no sign of the second plow, but there were more people in the back. I thought I caught a glimpse of you, but I wasn't sure.

It was almost a half an hour later, a half an hour spent watching Regis Stone guessing what had happened to the other truck, before Beth came into my room.

Beth was out of breath as she entered my room, she was dirty, bleeding from her forehead, and looked like she had been crying, “Tara, you need to come with me,” she said, “It's Dan, he's hurt.”

I tried to get out of my bed, and fell to the floor. I was still too weak to walk. Rather than help me up, Beth ran out of the room,and came back with a wheelchair as I was regaining my feet.

“What are you doing?” A nurse was asking her as she pushed the chair into the room, “You!” she said to me, “You can't be out of bed!”

“Her boyfriend's hurt, he was in the group that went out to the bomb,” Beth snarled at the nurse, “She's coming with me!”

I was still tethered to the IV stand next to the bed, and was having trouble trying to work the bag free with my good arm. My other shoulder felt like it was full of broken glass, and even without the sling on I wouldn't have been able to use it

“Does she need that?” Beth asked.

“It's just saline,” the nurse answered, seeming uncertain how to handle this situation.

Beth grabbed the rubber tubing, and ripped it roughly out of my arm. I'm sure it stung, but at that moment the news that you were hurt and Beth's attitude had me numb to it. Beth helped me into the wheel chair, and then started pushing me down the hall towards the lab entrance.

“How bad is it?” I asked.

“I'm sorry, Tara, it's bad,” Beth said as she rolled me down the hallways, dodging around people as she went, “Monroe couldn't get the receiver to work, but he was able to set up a timer... it went off too soon.”

“We were almost clear,” Beth continued, “I mean, we were out of the blast radius, but the debris hit us; It was probably a tree, it was burning. Brent, our driver, he must have panicked or something; the truck rolled onto its side and went off the edge of the road. I was thrown clear, but I think the truck hit Dan as it rolled.”

“Is he going to be okay?”

“The doctor said he didn't know, wouldn't until he examined him thoroughly, but that I should find anyone who cares about him. I sent Barbara to find Pippa and Bishop.”

Beth rolled me into the large chamber outside the lab's thick vault-like door. I don't think you ever went down into the labs, but the room is impressive. Picture a twenty foot high ceiling with the Genetitech DNA logo carved into the shining white stone of it. There was no time to admire the room then though, Beth rushed me to the elevators that would take us up into the hospital.

Beth was almost hysterical as we waited for the elevator to get us to the surface, “Gerry, oh God, I didn't see him. I think he went over with the truck. There were only four of us from the truck left, Me, Dan, Monroe, and Ciaran. Everyone else was gone. I think Ciaran's leg is broken, but Daniel...”

The elevator opened onto the ground level of the hospital, and Beth shoved me out, and rolled me down more hallways towards the emergency room. There were no moving obstacles up here with everyone else down in the labs.

Beth nearly ran over the nurse who tried to keep us out of the room you were in. The nurse stepped aside at the last moment, and Beth and I barged into an operating room.

You were on the table, they had already removed your coat and shirt; they had been thrown into one corner of the room with your swords. Seeing the swords there on the floor told me all I needed to know... Sharon's sword, the one with Hello Kitty on it, was bent about halfway down its length.

What happened next is a bit fuzzy, but I am pretty sure I lost my shit there. I remember trying to get to you, and having a doctor who was covered in what was probably your blood trying to put me back in the wheelchair. I don't remember exactly what he said, but I know he was yelling at Beth to get me out of there.

I remember that Beth yelled back, and I think she came pretty close to punching your doctor. He eventually convinced her that she should get me out of there. I think he said that I shouldn't see you that way.

What I do remember clearly is how you looked on the table. Your jeans were torn, and looked burnt in places. The left leg of them was a dark maroon with your blood, and you leg was slightly bent halfway down your lower leg.

Your arm was visibly broken too, with the end of one of the bones ticking out of your upper arm, but it was your face that was the worst. It looked like your skull had been caved in, and a lot of your hair was gone, like it had been burnt off. I see you that way in my dreams sometimes, and I still wake up screaming for you. I always hope you'll be there to calm me down, but you never are.

It was hours before we were allowed to see you again. Beth found me some clothes while we waited, and helped me change in one of the empty rooms. Pippa, Bishop. Toni, and Barbara all came and waited with us while the doctors worked on you. We waited there for about six hours before the doctor finally came out to talk to us.

“We've done what we can for him,” the doctor, I don't even remember his name, said, ”He has suffered a massive head trauma; he's a strong person to even be alive now.”

Beth, who had gotten cleaned up, but was still in her dirty uniform, asked the question that I couldn't, “Is he going to survive?”

The doctor shrugged, “At this point, I don't know. Like I said, it's a minor miracle he's alive now. He's stable though, and there is still brain activity, but if he does wake up he may not be the same person you know.”

“Can we see him?” I asked.

“Yes, it may help him to have people who care about him there.”

The doctor led us to the room you had been moved to, with the zombies taken care of they were no longer moving people down to the labs. You had a double room to yourself.

You looked peaceful there in the bed. The blanket was pulled up just past your waist, and most of what we could see was covered in bandages. Your left arm was in a cast, and half of your face was covered by bandages too. There was a thick breathing tube in your mouth. The machine next to your bed seemed to indicate that you had a strong heartbeat though.

The doctor explained to us that aside from the broken arm and leg, and the wound to your head that one of your lungs had been punctured, and that they had to remove your left eye. If you pulled through you would have to drastically change your life, and that would be no easy task in this world.

The others came and went frequently to sleep, or eat, or visit other wounded friends, but I refused to leave your bedside. After the first night of me sitting there in that wheelchair they just reassigned me to the bed next to yours. I wanted to be there when you woke up. I wanted to be the first person that you saw, and I wanted to tell you that I love you, and that I was sorry about the last real conversation we had.

I was sorry that the last thing I clearly remembered calling you was a son of a bitch. I hate the last thing I remember telling you was to grow up. You were right of course, I was jealous, and I had no right to be, especially since you knew all about Oliver and everything.

I tried to stay awake as much as possible; not taking the painkillers they gave me helped at first because the pain was more than enough to keep me up, but after the second day the doctor realized I wasn't swallowing them when he looked at my charts and blood tests, and started injecting them into my IV.

Beth and Barbara came and visited a lot, so did Pippa and Bishop, and Zack and Margaret Hutchins. Beth brought Ciaran by once to see you, he was in a wheelchair because of his own broken leg. Evie came by a few times, but she never spoke, not even to me. I think she was visiting all of the wounded, reminding herself what the cost of our survival was.

Toni would stop in when she wasn't on the air, but they had her busy with coverage of the victory celebrations. Most people were celebrating, and I don't blame them. I'm glad that we won too, that we had done what the vast majority of the world had failed to do. Why did the cost have to be so high though?

You made a lot of friends while you were here, you know? A number of people I don't know came to see you. They all expressed their condolences to me, and hoped you would get well soon. I think you're right, I think Beth did tell everyone about what had happened between us.

I talked to you a lot. I told you about what happened to me after the explosion at Mallville; I had intended to let you read the letters I wrote you, but that's never going to happen is it? I think you heard me. I hope you heard me. I hope you knew I was with you.

It was five days before you finally passed. I was laying in my bed reading to you from a book called “When You Are Engulfed in Flames”, it was funny, and suddenly your heart monitor went from a steady beep to a constant tone.

I was at your bedside in a moment, and I pulled out my IV again in the process. I was calling your name and shaking you with my left arm when the nurses and doctors on duty burst in. They tried to bring you back, but nothing worked; you were gone.

That's when I found out that the doctors had been using the wounded to test vaccines based on Grimm's work. They had actually been able to save a few people who had been bitten, and virtually no one who didn't survive got back up. I think you'd be happy to know that you stayed dead; that you didn't become one of those things.

The doctor, the same one who had operated on you, called your time of death as 3:42 PM, and he apologized to me. One of the nurses turned off your monitor, and the room was silent.

The doctor ushered the nurses out of the room to give me a moment with you. He stood in the doorway. I didn't like his being there, but I understand that he was just worried that you might come back; he had his hand resting on the butt of the gun holstered on his belt.

They had pulled your breathing tube out while trying to resuscitate you, and your mouth was not covered anymore. You looked so peaceful there, like you looked when I would wake up at night and watch you sleep. I kept waiting for you to take a breath, but you didn't.

I said goodbye to you for the first time there. I had never really accepted you were gone before, I knew you weren't dead, but now I had to accept it because you were there before me. I couldn't keep hope somewhere inside that you would show up again; that you would come back for me after all.

I leaned in, and kissed your still warm lips for the last time.

I managed to not cry until after they came to remove your body. I managed to keep my composure until Beth wandered in about thirty minutes later.

“Tara...” was all Beth could manage.

Beth put her arms around me, which hurt like hell, and together we both cried. It was probably the last time Beth has spent any real time with me. Shortly after your memorial, we held one for you at Bacchus at Zack Hutchins' insistence, she moved out of the house to live with Barbara.

All by herself, Pippa was facing losing the house, so I moved in with her. I'll be honest with you, hon, it was awkward at first. Pippa alternated between apologizing for the way she acted before, trying to be friendly, and trying to avoid me completely. I needed her help with a lot of things (have ever tried to use a manual can opener with one hand? It's not easy), so we eventually got over our awkwardness with each other.

I'm staying in Beth's old room. Pippa insists that we leave your room and Gerry's room the way they were. She goes in there to keep them clean, and I hear her in one of the rooms crying sometimes. I go into your room and cry sometimes, partly because I miss you, and partly because of what happened last time we were both in there.

I know that eventually we are going to have to at least box those things up. I'm sure that having museum exhibits dedicated to the two of you in our house is not good for us. The therapist has confirmed this for me.

While we almost never see Beth, Barbara does come by every couple of weeks to see how we're doing. She tells me that Beth is in counseling too, but that she can't face either of us yet.

“It's not easy,” Barbara explained to me on one visit, “She's lost most of her family for a second time, and she feels responsible. I tell her that there was nothing she could have done about it, but she doesn't believe it yet.”

“How are things between you two?” I asked.

“That's not easy either, but I love her, and I know she'll get better eventually. I just have to hang in there, you know?”

Does that sound like anyone we know?

Pippa is doing well. She's also in counseling, hell, most everyone in town is in counseling now, even some of the counselors. Pippa's young though, and I think she's dealing with things a lot better than Beth or I am. She's been spending a lot of time with Bishop. They haven't announced that they are officially dating or anything, but she does tend to blush when I ask about him.

She's also doing well in school. Her teachers say that in another year she should be ready to join them down in the labs. I'll probably never see her once that happens, but it's good that she will be making a real contribution to our future. I think you would be proud of her.

Toni is still working at the TV station, and she seems happy enough. I have to admit that I don't really watch her on the air even though we did get a TV for the house. I don't think Pippa watches it much either.

Evie, or Doctor Byron, as you insisted on being formal about her, is a slightly different person than she seemed to be before. She's more serious now; She's still friendly, organizes dances, and she still insists on everyone calling her Evie, but I never see her on 7th City anymore.

The people at the hospital are still in contact with that church you guys stayed at; the one with the biker priest. Evie told me that the preacher, Reverend Thomas, says he and his flock will be praying for you. I figured you would be happy to know that they were still around. Maybe if you had stayed there, you would be too.

Sorry, I'm not writing this to make you bad. I don't really know why I wrote that.

I am working in the hospital now, but not in any sort of medical capacity of course. I am working with the Acquisitions group coordinating raids. Between that and my physical therapy I think I spend more time there than here at home.

My arm is getting better, but I'm pretty sure my therapist is the Marquis De Sade in disguise. Doctor Lester tells me that I am never going to have full range of motion again, but that I should be able to get about 90% back. There go my dreams of playing at Wimbledon, eh?

I do feel it is a bit of a triumph that I am able to write this to you though. This is what I was working toward, being able to write this letter to you in my own hand, not on the computer. I know my writing is a little hard to read, but it's not like you're ever going to read it, right?

I think the most annoying thing about my shoulder is that it aches when there's moisture in the air; all winter it was hurting. So now I have gray hair and achey joints? It makes me feel old. In my head I can hear you telling me that I'm not old, but I wish you were here to tell me in person.

It actually started snowing two weeks after you passed. The winter was pretty mild, and when spring came things didn't get too bad. We haven't had any external zed incursions in town since the fight, although the Acquisitions teams run into plenty of them.. There was one incident where a woman killed her children and herself, but they were destroyed before they could infect anyone else.

We didn't have any new survivors during the winter, and so far have only had 4 or 5 since the snow thawed. Maybe it's just us and that church left out there? I doubt it. There has to be more people surviving than just us.

Now that spring has come, they've started planting crops above ground. It's all genetically engineered stuff that would have gottne people all riled up before, but now we're just glad to have food to eat. Once the canned food runs out or goes bad we're all going to have to become vegetarians too. Try wrapping your mind around that, Daniel, a world with no more Chef Boyardee Raviolis! T'is a sad place indeed.

I guess that's really all I have to say to you now. I don't think I am going to write to you again; I don't think it's right to. I need to let you go so that I can move on too. I know you didn't save my life just so I could waste it sitting in my bedroom crying.

I'm not looking for someone new, but that doesn't mean I won't find someone eventually. Please don't hate me for saying that, but I don't want the last things I say to you to be lies. Know that where ever you are you will always be in my heart, and I will always love you.

I hope that someday, when it's my time to go, that I will find you, Sharon, Alex, Gerry, Maria, and everyone else we've lost waiting for me. I hope it won't be for a long time, but I look forward to seeing you all again.

Thank you for being my lover, my friend, and my hero, and may the force be with you, always.

Love eternally,
Tara Lafferty

THE END
April 2008-October 2009

The End of the Path

2010-05-04T04:53:00.000-07:00

It's been a long and interesting road writing and posting Mallville, but that road is coming to an end now. The next chapter, fifty-five, will be the final chapter of the story.

I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has read this, whether you stumbled upon this back in 2008 when the first chapter went up, or you just found it last week, thanks for reading. If you enjoyed it, all I ask at this point is that you spread the word. Tell friends, post links, give people you think might be interested a copy of the Mallville Collected PDF.

As I look at the 600 pages I have written I chuckle to think there was a time when I was planning to write "Eric the Read" and "Turning to Ash" to use as filler because I did not think the story was going to end up long enough to be a book. Of course I realize now as I do the rewrite that this will be two books, the first covering the material of Mallville Collected Volume 1, and the second covering the rest.

I'm not sure what I am going to do next, aside from the second draft. I'm not sure if I will post something new, or if I'll podcast the second draft, or if I will just try to build up a stockpile of content for the time being. I even have an idea for a third Mallville book (though not a sequel).

I have no intention of ignoring this site after the final entry is posted, but I don't expect to be adding a lot of content to it. I would love to get your feedback on the story though. I may not reply to ever comment made, but I promise you that I do read them, and will take them into consideration while writing the second draft.

Whatever I end up doing next, I'm sure I'll Tweet, blog, or post on Facebook about it. In the meantime I would encourage you to check out the many other great authors, podcasters, and webcomics that are out there, and please support them financially whenever possible.

Fifty-Fifth Entry: And the Skies Wept

2010-05-04T04:45:00.000-07:00

September 1st

I'm extremely tired, but this is the first chance I've had to write, and I want to get this down before I go to sleep.

We have been fighting for over a week now. On August 21st the battle for our city, for the future of humanity, began. Doctor Byron's speech on TV was stirring when coupled with the video showing the scythe chariots tearing zeds to pieces. To be fair, she did not show the one that was lost falling over, but that wouldn't make for good propaganda, now would it?. It seemed to work in getting most of Lovelock behind her plan to simply refuse to fall to the zeds though.

Most of the men and a lot of the women turned up for battle. People too old, too young, or unfit for battle for whatever reason are not being forced into battle, but instead are being moved down into the labs now. Even though we fully expect to triumph, there's no point in taking any chances if they do push us back into town. Seeing as we have maybe a day left before we are pushed back to the eastern gate, this is a possibility.

Doctor Byron wasn't kidding when she said that she has been planning for this. She has pulled out all the stops. Aside from having enough weapons to arm a small country she has also provided a number of less conventional things like snowplows and bulldozers, and there is a truck with what looks to be a large bomb on the back. I don't know what it is, but I have heard the term 'Daisy Cutter'.

The side of the bomb has been painted with the words “The Big One”, and the truck it is on is parked right outside the east gate. The plan as I understand it is that if we do get pushed back that far we are going to retreat for the hospital and the labs underneath, and detonate the bomb. The hope is that there will be few enough left that it will finish them off. I hope it doesn't come to that though.

Since our battlefield is only four lanes wide and we are constantly falling back, we have essentially set up shift points. At first each shift consisted of three vehicle mounted weapons, a scythe chariot, and twenty ground troops like me. When the force you are fighting in reaches the next line of soldiers, which are usually about a half a mile behind your starting point your shift is over. You can then fall back to the next base point for food, rest, and resupply.

I think we look pretty fearsome out there all lined up, weapons in hand (I've even gotten to use one of those FN 2000s, and they are awesome) between the truck mounted VRGs, machine guns, and microwave guns. It's too bad that the zeds don't seem to experience fear, or else the battle would have been half won before the first shot was fired.

This system was working really well for the first day and a half. In fact I only know of one fatality that first day, someone moved in front of one of the Vortex Ring Guns before it fired, and was flung into the wall of walking dead. I hope he was dead before he hit them. It was on the second day that things started to go bad.

The first problem was logistical. You see, while people can rest wherever a place to rest is set up (mostly on cots or in the backs of the trucks that are being used to bring supplies out to us) the trucks and scythe chariots have to go all the way back to town to charge up. The one big downside to electric vehicles I guess. The end result of this is that we were ending up with shift points that had no vehicle mounted weapons at all. These lines get pushed back farther faster and this combined with with the second problem is leading to the majority of our losses.

The second problem is fatigue. I imagine that this is what being in a warzone feels like. I am currently running purely on what I am told are caffeine pills (I honestly think they are something more, because as a former energy drink addict I can tell you that they never made me feel like these things do). They have made me jumpy, twitchy, and shaky. When this is all over I think I may just get in bed and sleep forever; I'm frankly unsure how I am still awake now.

As bad as I feel, I'm doing better than some people. Our lines now fall apart within minutes because when it comes down to it we are not trained for this. We are teachers and accountants, retail clerks and truck drivers; we are not soldiers and it shows. Some people getting too close to zeds, and end up being pulled into them. Other people are just getting hit by friendly fire as they stray in front of other fighters. I have heard of a couple of front line suicides too, people who just give up when faced with the sheer number of zeds we are up against.

I can understand how some people are freaking out when faced with this seemingly unending stream of walking corpses. I have personally shot zeds in suits, underwear, pajamas, jeans, leather, and even nothing at all. I have killed zombies that were clearly police, firefighters, soldiers, goths, and children.

The children are the worst, not only are they usually faster than their adult counterparts, but they're fucking kids. I've seen two people get bit because they couldn't bring themselves to shoot kids. I had one charge me while I was reloading, and barely had time to grab my sword (I have been carrying mine and Sharon's with me, they make me feel safer) and hit the little bastard in the side of the head before it got to me.

The third problem, and this is mostly minor, is that some of the zombies are firing back. As I've seen before, some of them remember how to use some weapons and its those ones who are picking up our lost weapons and using them against us. I say this isn't a huge issue only because they are for the most part firing into the zombies in front of them instead of into our forces, and they don't know how to reload. This is of course why I am here in the hospital writing, and not out there fighting right now, but I'll get back to that.

Our biggest obstacle has nothing to do with the zombies at all, but with the weather. Those clouds that were threatening us during the first assault with the scythe wagons made good on their threats the second day of our battle. It was like suddenly the clouds opened up and the skies wept at the horrors occurring under them. Right now is the first time I have been warm and dry in a week.

Aside from the obvious problems of fighting in the rain adding to fatigue, hurting morale, and making the ground a little more slick it is also causing problems with our fancy sci-fi weapons. The water seems to interfere with both the VRGs and the microwave guns, causing them to have less of an effect on the zeds. Did no one think of this ahead of time? I mean I didn't, but then I'm not one of the brains here.

The rain is also doing no favors for the scythe chariots. When I left the front I heard that there were only two left working. The rain did not ruin all of the others though, one was accidentally fried by a microwave gun, two were blown over by badly aimed VRG fire, and one had the misfortune to intersect with a hand grenade. The other four are being blamed on the rain though.

Still, despite all of this, I think we're winning. I think we will be able to pull this off without using The Big One. If that bomb makes as big a boom as I think it does, then it may well seal us off from everything to the east without taking massive detour to the west first. I'm sure it'll take out the zeds, along with the road, and possibly a chunk of the mountainside.

I need to focus. These pills, they say they're caffeine, but I think they're speed, they make it hard to focus now. I'm sure the two or three hours of sleep I have been getting a day are not helping any, but there will be plenty of time to sleep later. I want to get this down on paper now... part of me doesn't think I'll remember it too clearly later.

Of course if none of this makes sense, then what was the point? I need to focus.

So here is an average shift on the front line. I load up on ammo, it won 't be enough, but I can only carry so much at a time, even with the satchel, which I think I will leave here in the hospital. I know I'm not doing my best now, and I'm sure that carrying that heavy-ass thing isn't helping me any, especially when I have to use the swords.

Focus focus focus! Get it together!

So you form a line with however many other people showed up and maybe some of the vehicle mounted weapons like the VRGs or the microwave guns; we ran out of ammunition for the machine guns yesterday, which is a shame because they could cut those bastards in half. Maybe there will be one of the scythe chariots as well, although you can hardly recognize them as the gleaming metal whirlygigs they were; now they are just gore stained monsters in their own right.

I've seen a camera crew from KVMS out on the front line a lot too. They are reporting live a lot of the time for the people down in the labs and at the hospital. I've had it on the TV the whole time I've been here in the waiting room. I saw Toni out there at one of the releif points holding the mic once a couple of days ago. I guess she must not have been on camera at the time since she was talking to Tara. I didn't go say hi.

I assume that while Toni is out there that Bishop is with Pippa. Pippa wanted to fight with us, but Gerry, Beth, and I all forbid it. It's not that I don't think she can handle herself, or that she would have any less a chance of survival than the rest of us, it's just that, for me at least, she is part of what I am fighting for.

“But I have to fight!” she protested when we told her no.

“You need to stay safe,” I said.

“But there are people my age fighting! It's my responsibility as a member of this town!”

“It is your responsibility as a member of this family to stay where you are safe,” answered Gerry.

“Pippa, honey,” said Beth, trying a less overtly protective tactic than Gerry or myself, “You need to stay behind and help watch Bishop and Oliver. Toni is going to be working for the TV station again, and she would really appreciate your help.”

“But I want to fight too!”

I caught on to what Beth was trying to do, “Everyone contributes in their own way. You aren't going to see Doctor Byron out there with a gun shooting zeds. Her contribution will probably be from the hospital, but it will still be a contribution.”

Even though it turned out to be totally untrue, it did seem to satisfy Pippa that she was still helping by not fighting. As for Doctor Byron, she has been out at the front or at the relief point a lot. She's not been shooting zombies or anything, but she has been there with us in the rain and the cold.

It's a shame the zeds didn't come a month from now; it will probably be snowing by then, and they'd be even less of a threat. Of course fighting in the snow would present its own difficulties I suppose.

I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open now. I need to finish this.

You form up a line, you and your friends, and neighbors, and complete strangers, and you wait. Maybe there's a friend with you. I've seen Beth, Barbara, Gerry, and Zach out there, and they all look awful. They look like they have seen hell firsthand, and have been sent back to warn the rest of us about it. Do I look like that too? I didn't really pay attention in the bathroom.

I feel stupid for not trying to talk to Tara out there. I almost lost her today, and what would I do if something happens to her and I never got to patch things up? I think I'd go and throw myself into one of the scythe chariots if that happened... I wouldn't be the first.

We're all saying that the people killed by the scythe chariots were accidents, not user error mind you, just accidents. I don't believe it though, even over the constant sound of gunfire it is impossible not to hear one of those things slicing through the air nearby... assuming they're not slicing through flesh and bone which makes them even louder.

I think we've lost something like twenty people out there like that, not all to the scythe chariots of course, but to suicide. Some people just cannot face that and stay sane. These are people who clearly never had to face these monsters; they weren't used to how killing things that were once human makes you feel inside. I don't have that problem though because once you kill the undead body of someone you loved, there's nothing you can't kill. It may still horrify you, but you can do it.

So you're in line, and waiting. You can see the previous front line backing up towards you, hear their guns firing, the explosions of the grenades (at least until we ran out). They get closer and closer to you, and before you know they are right in front of you. They turn and run/limp/hobble/drag themselves away towards where the relief point has been moved to now, and suddenly there is nothing between you and the zeds but a number of yards, and that is shrinking.

You start to pick your targets and fire. There's no point at firing wildly into the zeds, you're just going to exhaust your ammo that much faster without actually taking many of them out of the fight. It was best to leave that sort of tactic to the machine guns.

It doesn't matter how conservative you are with your ammo though, you're still going to run out well before you reach the next line. Every zed that goes down with a new hole in its head is just trampled underfoot by the others in the stream of rotting monsters. The redhead in the pink pajamas goes down, and is instantly replaced by a bald man in a wifebeater. You put a hole in his skull and he's replaced by a small Asian lady who looks to be in her sixties, and after her there's a teenager in black leather, and after him a fat woman in a stained mumu, and after her a soldier.

The soldier, he was a different sort of issue. It's not that I felt any sort of reluctance to shoot a soldier, it's that he was wearing a helmet. It looked like he had been shot in the chest; it could have been friendly fire, or maybe he was shot by another survivor for his weapons. I'll never know why he was killed, only that he managed to die without losing his helmet, and that my bullets were just bouncing off the damned thing, and it was pissing me off.

What I did was stupid, I know that, but I had to do it. I placed my rifle on the ground, pulled my swords, and charged the undead fucker. I swung both blades at this man who probably died trying to protect his country, and they sliced into his upper chest and throat. He fell backwards, landing only feet from the zeds behind him. I should have let him be trampled, or pulled my glock and put a round into his face, but I didn't.

I stomped by booted foot down onto the zed's torso, and black ooze flowed out of the fresh wounds on his neck and chest. He tried to push himself up, but I was able to hold him down, and I brought up one of the swords, Sharon's as it so happened, and I drove it down into the monster's face. The blade punched through the monster's right eye with a crunch as it cracked the bone of the eye socket and pierced the brain. The soldier lay in peace at last.

It's too bad that the same could not be said for his brethren. I was way too close to the zeds, and one, a girl wearing the remnants of an Apollo Coffee barista's apron, reached out and grabbed the sleeve of my soaking wet coat. As I turned to face her, her head snapped back, and she let go, falling away from me.

“What the hell are you doing, man?” yelled a security officer. It took me a minute to realize that it was Kyle. His last name is Yagan, by the way.

He was right to yell at me, it was stupid to get that close to the zeds; that's how people get killed. I am lucky that he had my back. I am doubly lucky that it was him that happened to see me being stupid, had it been Beth I would probably be in a hospital bed of my own.

I got a chance to even things out with Kyle a short while later. He was trying to put a new clip of ammo into his rifle, and he stepped into a pothole. He cried out as he went down, and the clip, his last apparently, fell out of his hand and bounced along the road surface away from him.

As if sensing his weakness (maybe we put off some sort of smell?), three zeds broke from the pack, a man in a western outfit that was probably hideous even before he died, a woman in the remains of a coral colored business suit, and a little girl in a gray school uniform, she had one ragged pigtail, the probable other having fallen out long ago. They seemed to be aiming straight for Kylr who was trying to scramble for the lost clip.

I opened fire, and sent the little girl, who was in the lead, sprawling onto her side in front of the cowboy, who tripped over her and fell on his face. I fired again, hitting the business suit lady in the side of the neck, and then the side of the head, and she too crumpled.

I moved to where the cowboy was trying to crawl at Kyle, who had managed to grab the clip, but was fumbling with trying to get it into his gun (he had it backwards, but was panicking). I stomped hard on the cowboy's back, and fired two rounds into the back of his skull. He stopped his struggling.

“Hey, thanks, man,” Kyle said.

I extended my hand to him to help him up, and pulled him roughly to his feet, “I had to return the favor,” I said, trying to sound cool despite the battle raging around us.

Kyle winced as he tried to put weight on his left foot, “Shit!” he cursed.

I fired at a couple of zeds who were also starting to pull away from the front of the tide, which itself was getting dangerously close now, “Is it broken?” I asked.

“I don't think so; hurts though.”

I ended up helping him back to the next relief point, which was about a mile away at that point. It would probably be moving again in another hour or two as the front line moved closer. I saw him later hobbling over towards the back of a truck where other people with minor debilitating injuries were reloading the empty clips brought back from the line. His ankle wasn't broken, but it's going to be a few days before he can walk on it normally again, so he is effectively out of the fight.

That's what I forgot! I mentioned that I always run out of ammo before the shift change. To remedy this there is one person out with us with a cart, kind of like the one Pippa was pushing in my dream. It has two baskets. The lower one starts out empty, and is filled with empty clips that the person pushing the basket retrieves from the ground before they get lost under the feet of the zeds. The top basket starts out full with full clips to be handed out as needed. When the top basket is empty, the person runs it back towards the relief point and hopefully meets up with someone pushing a full basket back. They trade baskets, and we at the front line get more lead to throw at the zeds.

Doctor Byron is being interviewed on the TV by Toni right now, even though it is so late. She doesn't look good, I mean she always looks pale, but now she just looks like she's sick. Maybe she is, she has been out there in the rain with us a lot, and don't albinos have weaker immune systems, or something?

Toni doesn't look too good either. I hope Pippa is taking good care of Bishop. I should go down into the labs and look for them and say hi before I head back tomorrow. I miss the little brat, I haven't seen her since this all started.

Doctor Byron is saying, “At this time, we are still viewing the use of what has been dubbed 'The Big One' as a last resort, but I will not hesitate to order its detonation if it comes to it.”

“And do you think we will need to?” Toni asked.

“I really cannot say at this time. We are unable to make a reliable estimate as to how many of the animated corpses remain. If they do reach the Eastern gate, I will order all remaining forces to retreat into the labs, and the device will be activated.”

“And what will the effects of that be?”

“The BLU-82 has a blast radius of up to three hundred meters, so any of the corpses within that area should be destroyed. We do expect that the road will also be destroyed which will be a hindrance to our future acquisition efforts, and there may be some damage to above ground buildings from the shockwave but I feel that saving our town is the utmost importance; we can make repairs as we need to later.”

“Now isn't 'The Big One' designed to be dropped from an aircraft?”

“Yes, Toni, but we have altered this one to allow it to be detonated by remote so that no one needs to put themselves at risk to do so. Unfortunately dropping the device from the air is not at option for us. If it becomes necessary we will make sure that everyone is at a safe distance before we activate it.”

There was just some yelling down the hall. Someone who was badly injured with multiple zed bites just reanimated and had to be put down. I thought they were already destroying the brains of people who didn't make it. The zed, a security officer who looked like she was missing most of her right arm, was already out down before I got there.

I'm just glad it's not Tara, she's still asleep in her bed.

I mentioned earlier about the zeds picking up fallen weapons. That's what happened to Tara. It was two or three shifts after Jacob got hurt, I can't really remember right now. I didn't even realize that she was so close to me until I heard her cry out.

The rain was pouring down on us, and it was already dark despite the fact that it was still the middle of the afternoon. I never heard the shots, or at least not in a way that I could distinguish from our own gunfire. It wasn't until I felt a burning sensation on my right ear that I realized I'd been hit. Burning sensation is actually too weak a term, it felt like my ear was on fire.

The bullet took off the top of my ear, and they've given me some painkillers to take for it, but I know they'll knock me out as soon as I take them, so I am waiting until I am done with this. Doctor Rossi tells me that I'll be fine as long as it doesn't get infected, but I may notice some hearing loss as a result. Something about that part of the ear funneling sound to the ear drum or something.

I heard Tara scream out just fine though. I looked over to my right when she yelled, not realizing it was her at first. I was just in time to see her stagger backwards and fall down. She was clutching her left shoulder with her right hand, her rifle lay on the wet ground next to her.

“Tara!” I called, and ran to her, the pain in my own head momentarily forgotten even as the warm blood mixed with the cold rainwater on my neck.

I don't know if it is a result of everything she's been through, or just a result of the stresses that this fight has put us all under, but the woman sitting on the wet road with blood flowing over the front of her coat around her fingers was not the Tara I've known. She was not angry, or even strong then; she was scared.

She looked up at me, and said my name, but she looked dazed and out of it. Too many of those “caffeine” pills I imagine, “Help me!” she said. I'm not making a judgment of her here; just an observation.

I panicked. The expression on her face will be one of those things that is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. She looked terrified; she looked like someone was else inside the body of this woman that I love. In that moment she was little more herself than Sharon was when....

Just as they had with Kyle, the zeds seemed to somehow know she was injured, and some started to pull out of the pack and come towards us. I fired into them a little more wildly than I normally would as I fought back my own panic. Not only was I injured, but so was Tara, and probably quite badly; I didn't know just how badly yet.

If it were just the two of us out there, I would not be writing this now, but some of the others noticed what was happened, and closed in to defend us. Most of the zeds away from the front of the pack fell in a hail of gunfire from both sides of me, but one, a woman in surgical scrubs, was right in front of me. I suppose no one took the shot for fear of hitting me, or maybe they figured I had since I was right there.

Unfortunately for me, my gun was empty, and it was the last of my ammo. I could see Stan, the guy who was pushing the ammo cart, coming my way, but there wouldn't be enough time. I could pull my Glock, but instead dropped my rifle to the ground, and pulled the two swords out of their sheathes which were criss-crossed over the back of my coat.

As the undead medical professional charged me, I held out Sharon's blade in my left hand and it impaled itself on it, slowing its progress towards me. It opened its mouth wide in a silent roar, or at least not one that I could hear over the gunfire as it slid along the blade. I swung my own sword with my right hand, and sliced into the zed's neck, but not hard enough to decapitate it.

I swung again, and even though I still failed to actually cut her head off, I must have severed the spine, because the zed sagged , pulling the sword in my left hand downward as she slid off of it.

“What happened?” yelled a woman with frizzy brown hair to my left.

“I think she's been shot,” I called back.

“Looks like you have been too,“ called a man with long blond hair matted to his head by the rain. He was on my left, and was grabbing full clips out of Stan's basket while Stan retrieved a couple of empty clips off of the ground. I could feel the warmth of my blood mixing with the cold rain on the side of my face.

“Get her out of here!” yelled the brown haired woman, before shooting another pair of zeds that were pulling away from the shambling wall death moving towards us.

In another couple of minutes, the main force would be on us. I had to move her now. Stan was coming my way, and I handed him my rifle, and picked up Tara. There was no way I would be able to carry her and the gun at the same time, and even if I could I would have no need for it while running away.

While Stan retrieved Tara's fallen rifle, I retrieved Tara. She shrieked as I picked her up; I'm sure pieces of ruined bone in her shoulder were scraping together, but she was already too weak to walk. Weariness, pain, shock, and blood loss had taken all of the fight out of her, leaving behind only fear.

I tried to run back to the relief point with Tara, but after a couple of minutes I started to get dizzy. I don't think Tara was the only one suffering from exhaustion and blood loss. I ended up in sort of a middle speed jog because if I passed out then there was no hope at all for Tara.

“I'm shot!” Tara exclaimed as I carried her; she grimaced with each step, as the impact traveled up my body and into her.

“I know, but you'll be okay. We just need to get you to a doctor.”

“I don't want to die. Not now, not like this!” she said, the panic plain in her voice.

“You're not going to die. You can't yet; we have unfinished business,” I was trying to sound calm myself, but I don't think my panting from the exertion was helping much there. I could feel the warmth of her blood soaking through my clothes and to my skin. She was bleeding so much.

“You're hurt!” Tara observed.

“I'm fine,” I answered, “It's just a flesh wound.”

Tara made a sound that was sort of like a laugh and sort of like a groan; I don't know if this was in response to my joke, or just caused by pain.

“I'm scared,“ Tara said in a voice that I could barely hear over the sounds of the storm and the pounding of my own heart in my ears.

“Everything it going to be fine, just try to stay calm. We'll be there soon,” I lied, not knowing how far it really was to the next relief point.

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything,” Tara said, almost babbling now.

“You don't have anything to be sorry for.”

“I do! There's so much I want to tell you before I die! There's so much you need to see!”

“Stop it! You're not going to die!” I practically yelled, and then caught myself, ”We'll have plenty of time to talk things through when this is all over, but you need to try and calm down now,” I urged, thinking that her panicked state might be causing her to lose blood faster.

“But you need to know,” she said, her voice getting weaker, “You need to know that I....” her voice trailed off, and she went limp in my arms. I looked down and saw that he eyes were closed. She had passed out; I knew this because I could still see her chest rising and falling as she breathed,

I felt relief when I saw light up the road ahead of us, but then quickly realized that it was only the next shift line, and not the relief point. I heard someone call my name as I came into the light, and saw a woman break from the line and run towards me; it was Beth.

“What the fuck happened?” she asked. She looked awful, there were deep circles under her eyes, and her hair gave her the appearance of a kitten who had been dunked in a bucket of water.

“One of the zeds got a gun and shot her,” I said, not stopping. I needed to get her to safety, and I was starting to feel dizzy even without running.

Beth's eyes widened more as she looked me in the face, “Is that a bite?” she asked, looking at the remains of my right ear.

“What? No! I was shot too, but we need to get Tara help,”

“Gerry!” Beth yelled, and before I knew it, Gerry was walking alongside us.

“Oh shit!” Gerry exclaimed, seeing Tara lying limply in may arms when he approached, ”is she...?”

“She's fine!” I snarled, “She just needs a doctor!”

“Let me carry her, man,” Gerry said to me. He looked like someone had tried to drown him too, but he still looked better than I must have.

“I've got her,” I insisted, “how much farther to the relief point?”

“They were just moving it again when we left,” Beth explained, “I don't know how far they moved.”

“You look like you're going to collapse, just let me carry her for awhile,” Gerry insisted.

“I'm fine,” I insisted, as much to myself as the Gerry, “I just need to get her some help.”

“Give Tara to Gerry, or I will kick your ass!” Beth ordered me.

Even in that state, I knew there was no point in arguing with Beth. I stopped walking, and gently transferred Tara into Gerry's arms. He took her, and looked sadly down into her wet pale face. He put his ear as close to her mouth as possible to check that she was still breathing. Part of me was mad, but I realize now that he just didn't want her reanimating in his arms if she had died. The condition I was in, I really can't blame him for doubting my judgment.

Dizziness overtook me, and I dropped to one knee in a cold puddle. Beth knelt down next to me, “Get her to the relief station. We'll catch up,” Beth told Gerry, and he took off at a fast jog through the line of my fellow townsfolk who were waiting their turn to face off against the living dead again.

I looked into Beth's weary face, “Why does everyone I love leave me?”

Beth put her arms around me awkwardly as we both knelt there in the rain, “Tara's going to be fine, just like you said, and not everyone who loves you leaves. I love you, Pippa loves you, Gerry loves you; none of us are going anywhere.”

Beth let go of me, and then got back to her feet. She took my right hand, and pulled me up, “Come on, we need to get that ear looked at. It looks like you're out of this fight too.”

By the time Beth got me to the relief point, Tara was already loaded in the back of an ambulance. I found enough energy to jog at that point, and made it to the back of the ambulance before they could shut the doors.

“We'll come visit you guys when this is over,” Gerry told me as the medic allowed me up into the back of the ambulance.”

“I'll be back as soon as I'm sure Tara's going to be okay,” I said.

“You'll do whatever the doctors tell you to do,” Beth corrected me.

The whole way to the hospital the medic, who had a handgun holstered on his hip, kept checking on Tara's vital signs. He gave me a few gauze pads, and told me to hold them against my ear. The pressure hurt, but it also cleared my head a little I think.

Once at the hospital Tara was rushed into surgery, and disappeared into the bustle of the hospital. It looked like anyone with any amount of medical knowledge had been put to work dealing with the flow of gunshot wounds, cuts, broken bones, and bites that had been coming in from the front line.

I tried to follow Tara's gurney as they rushed away, but a pair of nurses in blood speckled scrubs stopped me. I would have just pushed past them, but one of them looked more like a linebacker than a nurse, so I felt it wise to take a seat in the waiting room with a fresh set of gauze pads for my ear.

It seemed like forever before Doctor Rossi came and got me, but my injuries are minor compared to the other stuff they are dealing with, so I tried not to be impatient. I really wanted to know how Tara was doing more than I wanted any attention for my ear.

“Miss Lafferty is in surgery now, I stopped in there on my way to get you,” he said as he led me deeper into the hospital to an empty room to treat my ear, “She's lost a lot of blood, but Doctor Lester thinks she's going to pull through okay. I'm not going to lie to you though, the bullet did a lot of damager to her shoulder, so things are going to be hard for awhile. You're her boyfriend, right?”

“I think so,” I said.

Doctor Rossi gave me a puzzled look, “Well, things could be hard on her while she gets used to whatever limitations this injury imposes on her, so she's going to need a lot of support from anyone close to her.”

I'm not sure what all Doctor Rossi actually did to my ear, but it hurt like hell, and he shaved off some of the hair on that side of my head to do it. When he was done I had a fat bandage wrapped around my head with a big bunch of gauze packed over my ear.

“I'd like to admit you to the hospital for the night,” the doctor told me, “You are suffering from exhaustion and malnutrition and I'd like to take a look at that ear again in the morning.”

I reluctantly agreed, and that brings me to where I am now. Part of me wants to rush back out there right now and rejoin the fight, but I know I'll be a lot more useful after a decent night's sleep, so

Doctor Lester just came in; he looks to be in his mid forties, and has about three days worth of salt and pepper beard growth. He told me that Tara is out of surgery, and she's stable. I should be able to see her in the morning, but that she may still be unconscious. I thanked him for the news, and he rushed away before I could ask any questions. He looks like he could use a good night of sleep too.

I just took the pills they gave me for my ear, and it feels like they are working already; I'm feeling impossibly groggy now. It's probably just a placebo effect though, there's no way they are kicking in this fast. Still, I'd better stop, I only have like two blank pages left in here anyway.

When the fight is over, I'll get a new journal, and let you know how it turned out. Whatever happens I'm going to be 100% honest with Tara; tonight I came just too close to losing her again. I spent all those years just taking Sharon's presence for granted; believing that there would always be a tomorrow, and I could always tell her how I felt when I was ready. I was wrong, and I squandered so much time with her. That's not going to happen with Tara.

EVERY FUCKING DAY COUNTS FROM NOW ON!

Hopefully we'll all live happily ever after; me and my family. Tara, Beth, Pippa, Gerry, Toni, Bishop; I love all of you guys. Oliver... well, we'll see.

And Pippa, I'm standing right behind you, put the journal down!

Made you look!

Mallville Special - Turning to Ash

2010-04-29T04:17:00.000-07:00

Hey, hey, don't try to sit up so fast. You're safe, just relax. You're lucky to be alive, I guess we all are though, right? Here, have some water, you've been out for awhile.

Who am I? The name's Ash, and I'm the chosen one.

What? Okay, so that's not totally true. I'm not the chosen one (not as far as I know anyway), and I'm not THAT Ash. Actually, I didn't even used to be Ash. I'm not gonna bore you with that though, don't worry.

So where are you from, anyway? I haven't seen a lot of people since after Mallville blew up. Oh that's okay, you don't need to tell me al that if you don't want, I won't be offended.I'm sorry if I'm talking too much, it's just I've not had much chance to talk to a living person in awhile, you know?

What? You do want to know about me? Okay, well I was born Samuel Haff, but when the world took everything from me, that me, the Sam me, died and I rose from the ashes. Rose from the ashes, get it? Heh heh... yeah, sorry.

Anyways, I was always a big fan of Bruce Campbell, so when it came time to re-invent myself, who else would I choose? I mean, I didn't really choose or anything, not consciously, but some part of me chose. You know, I like to think that he's still out there somewhere slaying the undead. I think he'd be proud of me if he could see me.

I once told this guy I met that no one would want to hear my story. Of course I then proceeded to tell him my story, and he did legitimately seem interested. Those guys were in a bad way, but if there are such a thing as good guys and bad guy, they were the good guys. I haven't seen those people since Christmas, I wonder what's become of them.

Anyway, as I'm sure you remember, the end of the world started on a Sunday afternoon in March, although I don't think anyone knew it was the end of the world at the time. I was at work at T-Mart, where I worked in, of course, housewares. This was supposed to just be a job to earn some money to enroll for classes in the summer, not the last job I would ever have. I was about halfway through my shift when I saw the first signs of the end of everything.

I had noticed that it was quieter than normal for a Sunday, but I liked having time to re-merchandise some shelves without people moving stuff or leaving their trash on the temporarily empty shelves. I swear, some of the people that shopped at Tyranno Mart... I should have started a website about it.

Being inside of a T-Mart was kind of like being inside a casino, you know? Is it daytime? Nighttime? Raining? Summer? Winter? Has the world ended? Who knows, it's always midday bright and seventy-eight degrees. Even our TVs were just a DVD on loop most of the time. As a result I had no idea what was happening in the rest of the world until a co-worker told me.

“Did you hear what's going on?” Hector asked me as he was heading to the back. Hector Rodriguez was an interesting guy, maybe not the best worker in the world, but not a slacker either.

“Nope, someone getting fired or something?” I asked.

“Naw man, something up at the hospital,” Hector replied, “A riot or something.”

That got my attention. You see, my mom was a nurse at Covenant General, and she was supposed to be on duty.

“A riot? Are you sure?”

“They were sayin' on the radio that there's a bunch of police and stuff there, an' that some people were trying to bite people.”

And that was when I figured that Hector was just making a lame joke, “Biting? Get out of here, stop wasting my time, man.”

“No, I'm serious. Go check out the TV in the lounge, man, I'm sure it's on there too.”

I would have, but a scream echoed through the store at that moment. Hector and I both headed in that direction; not because we knew that something bad was happening, but because we were nosy. I figured someone saw a mouse or something, or maybe a shoplifter was getting busted.

The scream had come from the front door; it was our greeter, Dotty. She musta had quite a set of lungs in her seventy year old body for her voice to carry across the store like that. Dotty was laying on the floor clutching a wound on her left arm while two of our cart wranglers were wrestling a middle aged man to the ground.

The man was wearing a thin blue bathrobe over a white t-shirt and blue striped pajama bottoms. I could tell immediately that something was wrong with him, and it was the pajamas or the fact that had bitten Dotty that were the clue, we got people in the store dressed like that all the time. It wasn't even the fact he was fighting Raj and Edgar, trying to bite them either, as that wasn't really all that uncommon either.

What seemed off about this guy, the thing that set him apart from your average meth-head, was his color. I mean, he was a white guy and all, but really white; his skin was almost gray. He was the first zombie I ever saw... first of many, unfortunately.

“It's jus' like on the radio, man!” Hector said to me, pointing at the struggling man.

“Ow, fuck!” Edgar yelled as the gray man bit him on the upper right arm; his teeth making a ragged whole in Ed's blue polo shirt. Edgar shoved the man away from him, and Raj let go too, sending the man stumbling towards me and Hector.

The man looked at me for a moment, and I could see that his eyes were milky white. The zombie started to stumble towards me as Hector backed away. I didn't know what to do, so I turned and grabbed the nearest thing, a shopping cart from the corral, and shoved it into the man.

“Someone do something!” I yelled as the ghoul tried to reach me over the length of the cart..

“Sam, in here!” called Odette Walker, one of the cashiers. She was standing next to the Game Zone family friendly arcade room (which consisted of two rigged crane games, two hunting light gun games, and an old Crazy Taxi with the seat stuck as close to the steering wheel as possible so that no one over five feet tall can even play) with her hand on the controls to raise and lower the room's gate.

I turned, keeping the cart between myself and the gray man, and shoved him in the direction of the arcade as hard as I could. The man stumbled towards the doorway, still trying to reach for me over the cart as we went. Together, myself, the zombie, and the empty shopping cart charged into the arcade. I let the cart go at the doorway as Odette started lowering the gate.

The cart stopped rolling forwards as soon as I let go, but the zombie kept stumbling backwards, its arms flailing like a man trying to regain his balance. Like most zombies though, this one wasn't very coordinated, and he ended up stumbling into and tripping over the Crazy Taxi game's seat.

The gate finished coming down as the gray man struggled back to his feet. He shamble-ran to the gate, and pounded his fists against it while pretty much everyone in the front of the store gathered around to look at this strange creature with the gray flesh and ring of red around its mouth, kinda like a little girl putting on her mom's lipstick for the first time, or maybe a person who really enjoys their watermelon.

“What is going on up here?” bellowed a voice better suited for football field than the storefront in front of customers (all four of them). It was Tom, one of the assistant managers (or “ass man” For short).

Tom was the very model of a modern T-Mart manager, always clad in a white dress shirt and a T-Mart neck tie the same color as my hideous green vest with Terry the T-Rex's smiling face on it. If you saw Tom it generally meant you were in some sort of trouble since he only ever came out of his office to berate someone for something.

No one answered Tom's question, as we were all still too busy looking at the gray man throwing himself against the gate to the arcade, as if he could pass through it just by sheer effort and get to us.

“Why is there a man locked in the Fun Center?” Tom asked, and then he saw Odette helping Dotty to her feet, “What happened? Are you hurt?” his tone was still severe, but not as confident.

“That man bit Dotty and Edgar, Mister Wingates,” Raj answered.

“It's like on the news!” Hector said.

Tom looked angry, “Raj, take Edgar and Dotty in back to the first aid kit. I'm going to call the cops,” and he started to take long strides across the front of the store over to the Customer Service Manager's stand in front of the long row of cash registers.

As a point of fact, Tom should have already been up there that day. He was scheduled to fill in as CSM since he had not wanted to schedule one for the afternoon, but Tom's office was his own little fortress in the land of T-Mart, and he was always reluctant to leave it for anything.

“Get back to work all of you!” Tom yelled, rather inappropriately in front of the customers I thought, as he stomped away from us. Odette and the other cashiers scurried back to their registers while Hector went to clock in from lunch. I stayed, looking back and forth between the gray man and Tom as he got on the phone.

“Sam, don't you have work to do?” Tom called to me.

“I'm on break,” I replied back, and slipped my green vest off, folding it in half, and then in half again and stuffing it into the pocket of my khakis.

“Go find something else to do then!”

So I went into the Burger Bro next to the Fun Zone.

“Hey bro, what can I get you today,” said Xuxa Tarico in a tone that said I-would-rather-be-anywhere-than-here.

“Water,”

“Oooh, big spender there, Sam.”

“That's how I get all the ladies,” I replied. Xuxa laughed and got me a cup of ice water from the soda dispenser.

When I came out of Burger Bro, Hector had returned with a mop bucket and was cleaning up the blood that had dripped on the floor from Dotty and Edgar's wounds. He kept looking up at the gray man as he mopped, and he looked seriously freaked out.

I thought of going back to my locker and calling my mom, but at that moment I was too interested in Tom's phone call.

“What do you mean you can't send anyone?” he said too loudly, “Someone just assaulted two of my employees, they need medical attention and he needs to be arrested!”

Tom listened for awhile, his face alternating from scared, to impatient, to pissed off, to confused, and then back to scared again. I wouldn't be surprised to have found out he crapped his shorts there, but in the next few days we all would, yeah?

“Yes, gray skin,” Tom said into the phone, and then a pause, “well, yes, we sell guns, but,” another pause, “What do you mean shoot him?” he bellowed.

I walked casually over to Tom as he looked at the phone curiously before hanging it up, “Problems, sir?” I asked in my best employee voice.

“They're not sending anyone. They said that they don't have to resources to send someone out for just one of them. They said to just shoot him.”

I sucked some water through my straw, and said, “Sounds like maybe we should close up.”

Tom looked at me, fire in his eyes, “I am not closing this store.”

It ended up that Raj tried to drive Edgar and Dotty to the hospital, but they were back before the end of my shift. Raj said that the hospital was all blocked off, and that they couldn't get near it for all the cops and news vans.

“The cop at the roadblock said that everything was under control, but that if their injuries weren't life threatening that he couldn't let us through, “Raj explained to me, “He said a lot of people were bit today, and to just clean and bandage the wound, that's all they were doing for people at the hospital anyway.”

So yeah, they totally did not understand what was going on, but it was about a week before anyone really put it together. It wouldn't have made any difference to the people who were bitten even if they did know that first day. I suppose it might have saved the rest of us though.

When I got home that night, mom was already there, a thick white bandage wrapped around her left hand. She was in our smallish kitchen, I say smallish because it was big enough for all four of us to be in there together, but only just barely.

Mom was making Hamburger Helper (she worked long hours, so I never gave her crap for the fact that most of our meals came out of boxes and cans, at least they didn't come out of drive-thru windows) , while my sisters helped. Mel, she was nine, was making a salad, and Becky, eight, was gathering up silverware to set the table with.

Dad was not in the picture, he left shortly after Becky was born to move to Utah and marry three other women, so neither of the girls have any memories of him. We never saw him, and rarely heard from him, but the Christmas and birthday presents from him and our step-moms were epic. I don't know why mom tolerated that, but she did.

Mom had changed out of her scrubs and was wearing a blue sweatsuit and a grease stained apron with the phrase “Southern Cookin' Makes You Good Lookin'” on it over a caricature of Paula Deen's face. She generally only changed before making dinner when she had gotten blood, or some other nasty substance on her clothes at work.

“Mom, what happened to your hand?” I asked before she could even say hello.

“You've heard what's going on, right?” she asked.

“The crazy people?” I asked, “Yeah, we had one in the store, still do actually. Do you know that the people at nine-one-one told Tom to shoot the guy? Is that insane of what?”

“They're not crazy people, Sam,” her voice sounded unusually shaky when she said that.

Let me get something straight here, my mom was not a weak person; she was not one of those cry-at-the-drop-of-a-hat, Lifetime-watching, Oprah-following women (although she did read Twilight, but I guess everyone has a vice, right?). Hearing that shakiness in her voice was really unusual.

Mom put the skillet on one of the cold burners, and motioned for me to go into the living room. She followed me in there, “Sam, these people are dead.”

“The guy seemed pretty active for a corpse, he bit Dotty, the door greeter. They wouldn't help her at the hospital, what's up with that, mom?”

Mom held her bandaged hand up to me. There was a splatter of greasy gravy on it from the Hamburger Helper, “I saw it with my own eyes, okay?”

“What happened?”

“A girl who was brought in. she had fallen down the stairs is what we were told; she died before we could do much for her. CPR failed, everything failed, and Doctor Cosroy had called her TOD. We were getting ready to move her down to the morgue when she opened her eyes.

“We thought we had made some sort of mistake, maybe the EKG was not working right or something. When Cosroy tried to check her pulse, she bit him; took a big chunk out of his arm. When I tried to restrain her, she bit me too.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, comparatively,” she said shrugging, “It happened in other parts of the hospital too. Another one in Emergency, one up in ICU, and four down in the morgue. Marvin Dellindo was killed by one of them.”

“Wow, mom, that's horrible.”

She shook her head, “No, it's worse. He turned into one of them. They had to shoot him; had to shoot all of them.”

“Are you going to be okay?”

“I feel fine, but the hospital is still a mess. They've been turning away anyone without major injuries. A lot of bites, like mine.”

Thinking back on all this, and even considering that my own mom was one of those effected, why the hell did no one think to quarantine people who had been bitten until they knew what they were dealing with? How many people around the world were just left to roam around until the infection, The Zed Virus, killed them? Turned them?

Maybe it wouldn't have saved the world in the long run, but maybe it would have saved Becky and Mel. I'm sorry about my mom, but if I could have saved my sisters....

No need to dwell on that though, right?

I watched the news that night, not something I normally did, and was surprised to see that this was going on all over the world, and that absolutely no one knew what to do about it. Some people were saying it was God's wrath, some said it was because there was no more room in hell (yeah, I saw that movie too). Still others, the ones that could maybe have been called more rational, were saying it was some sort of mutated viral infection, but that didn't make sense, I mean how would it mutate the same way at the same time all over the world? I guess I should have paid more attention in biology.

Then there were the real nutbags; you remember these type, right? You know, the ones who didn't know what the cause of it was, but they were damned sure that it was the end of the world. One point for them, I guess.

Looking back, there is only one thing that was certain on that first day. It was a worldwide thing, and no one, not the president, the press, the brainboxes, no one knew what to do about it. They were able to kill the things easily enough, but no one knew it was communicable. We would know soon.

I went to work like normal the next day. The streets were emptier than normal for a Monday, and instead of the usual golden-ager greeting at the front door to the store there were two of our larger stockers, Aiden and Rocco, and they were armed with baseball bats.

I noticed that the gate to the Fun Zone had been covered with a blue tarp. I didn't hear anything moving inside there, but I don't know if there was any real significance to that. I headed to the back to clock in.

I ran into Bob Valentine, the supervisor of the electronics department, at the time clock. Now if Tom was the epitome of retail management, then Bob was the opposite of it. Bob usually wears short sleeved shirts instead of long sleeved ones like Tom, and spends almost no time in his office.

Bob was essentially still more one of us hourly workers than the salaried management, and how he got to be in management I'll never know. He was the sort of guy who would take his “Ask Me, I Care” name badge and add the word “if” to the middle of it in tiny letters. Basically he was a good guy.

“Hey Sam, how's things?” Bob asked as I swiped my badge to clock in.

“I'm a little surprised the store is open today.” I said.

“Why?” Bob asked, “With Seras off in Hawaii, and Wingates in charge it would take nothing short of the end of the world to close this store.”

“Some people are saying it is the end of the world.”

Bob waved a hand in the air, “No way. I don't know what's going on, but the government will figure something out and kill those things. We're safe in here in any case, Rocco and Aiden aren't going to let any of those zombie people in.”

Bob was reading an email that had been thumbtacked to the corkboard next to the timeclock. It was an email from home office telling us to run like normal unless directed to close by local authorities. I guess in some of the more urban markets they were already having a problem with looters and the spread of the undead.

There was one paragraph that had been highlighted towards the bottom, “In order to protect Tyranno-Mart associates, customers, and property, we are authorizing employees to incapacitate any undead aggressors present on the premises of your store. Store management is to replace scheduled door greeters with willing associates they deem most suitable to this end. According to government officials then best ways of incapacitating the undead are by removing the head or destroying the brain. Please keep your own safety as well as the safety of merchandise and customers in mind if you are forced to do this.”

“Wow, never thought I'd see that in a corporate email,” Bob said after reading, “Hey, doesn't your mom work at the hospital? That's where it all started. I she okay?”

“One of those things bit her, but she says she's okay,” I said, “She was a little freaked out by it all, but she was going back to work today, so I guess she must think it's under control.”

“Uh oh,” Bob said, pointing to Tom Wingates coming down the hall towards us, “Prepare to get yelled at.”

“You two need to get out on the floor,” said Tom in a much more subdued tone than normal, “We had a lot of call-ins today. Bob, I need you in your department, Sam finish getting the stockroom ready for tomorrow's delivery as fast as possible, and then come find me; I may need to put you on a register.”

Bob looked at him curiously, “You okay, Tom?”

“Huh?” Tom asked, distractedly, “Yeah, I'm fine. Go on, get to work.”

I never had to get on a register, as it was really quiet, even for a Monday. There were a few of the regulars in; the Hot Wheels collectors pestering Toys and Sports to see if any new cases had come in, the old guy who just seems to wander the store for two hours and then just buys one thing, that sort of thing. Then there were a few of the doomsdayers; the ones who were certain that this was the end of the world and wanted to stock on before the store was cleared out.

The doomsdayers were right of course, except that the store shelves never did clear out before we closed.

Mom didn't come home at all that night, but she called to let us know that she was okay. She said that the hospital had taken on an almost warzone-like atmosphere with armed police officers along with the normal hospital security stationed all over the place, especially the emergency room.

She told me that they were seeing an increase in suicide attempts, people trying to get help with bite wounds, accidental shootings, and that sort of thing. She sounded pretty freaked out by it all, but told me to keep the girls inside and safe, and that she would be home in the morning.

It was announced on the news that night that the school would not be open on Tuesday, which made Becky and Mel happy. They found a friend that they could stay with so I could still go to work, and so that mom could rest if she was able to come home.

Even less people showed up for work that third day, and there was no email from home office at all which was odd. The truck showed up three hours late, and the driver told us that the highways were a nightmare; people trying to get from one place to another for no obvious reason since the problem was everywhere. He also told us that after this he was heading back home to Alabama to be with his family until this was all over. I hope he made it.

There were more doomsdayers in that day, and we had quite a run on baseball bats, axes, crow bars, and tire irons. We had none of our regulars though, not even the old guy who just wanders. That massive over-order of ammunition in the sporting goods department finally resolved itself as a lot of people came in for ammo. We didn't sell any guns though, no one wanted to wait the ten days until we could release them. Good call.

I think the lack of contact with home office freaked Tom out more than anything up to that point; even more than when Rocco had to fight that zombie in the parking lot that had a woman and her kids trapped in their car. I helped him drag the body around to the side of the store were there were already three other bodies stinking to high heaven, including our original gray man. Of course that is a smell I would come to know well, since everything smells like it now.

At the end of my shift I decided that maybe the doomsdayers had a point, and stocked up on some canned foods. Whatever happened we would have a couple of weeks worth of canned ravioli, soup, vegetables, and Beefy Cheese and chips. Alright, the last one was not really an end of the world provision, I just liked the stuff.

Mom came home that night, but she went right to bed. She said she was feeling tired, and who could blame her? I mean she had just worked something like a thirty hour shift. Of course that wasn't the real problem, but I wouldn't know that for a couple more days, and by then it would be way too late.

On the fourth day, Wednesday, a number of things happened. Tom totally freaked out because not only did we not get anything from home office in email, but he couldn't even get a hold of our district manager. No replies to email, no answers on the phone, nothing.

Then there were the zombies. Aiden and Rocco had both not shown up for their shifts as armed greeters, so Tyrone took up the bat at the door. There were maybe a half a dozen of us that showed up that day, so no one noticed when Tyrone went out into the parking lot after one of the undead, and three more got into the store.

Odette was the only cashier that day, but she had left her register to find Tom, and didn't see them come in. Bob was the first one to see one of them, and he alerted the rest of us.

The overhead music stopped and Bob called over the speakers, “There's one in the store, in electronics!” he called into the phone, followed by “Shit! Aaagh!” and then the sounds of scuffling.

I was working on restocking the canned vegetables aisle, trying to do an entire pallet by myself. I got up from where I was kneeling, taking my box cutter and a can of peas as the closest weapons to me, and ran for electronics.

I cut through the crafts section, and as I was rounding the corner to the kids crafts aisle (tempura paints, glitter, construction paper, sheets of felt, that sort of stuff) I had my second up close and personal encounter with the living dead. It was a middle aged woman with bright red hair and gray roots, and I ran smack into her as I rounded a corner, knocking her into the shelves.

“Sorry, ma'am,” I said, and then she grabbed for me, and I noticed her skin and eyes. I pushed her back away from me against the shelves, knocking over a few bottles of glitter glue, and sending a couple of small jars of glitter to the floor where they burst open, and scattered gold and silver glitter everywhere.

I threw the can of peas at the dead woman; it struck her in the face, and then thunked to the floor. Far from killing the woman, it seemed to kinda piss her off. “Stay back!” I yelled, holding my box cutter out in a threatening but totally useless manner. What the hell was I planning to do with it? It would take a long time to decapitate her with it.

The zombie woman started towards me, and suddenly a three foot long shaft appeared in the side of the woman's neck, sending her stumbling into the shelf again. As the woman tried to regain her balance a second one appeared in her right shoulder. I realized then that these were arrows.

Turning in the direction that the arrows had come from, a third arrow thunked solidly into the zombie's chest, knocking more crafty things to the floor.

Another arrow, this one in the throat near the first one, and the zombie was starting to resemble a pin cushion. There was a long pause after the fourth arrow, and the zombie actually got a couple of steps, almost past the edge of the gondola and out of my view when the fifth arrow appeared in the woman's forehead. She stumbled back hard into the shelf, and slid down it to the floor, pulling a bunch of bottles of glue and glitter down on top of her.

Some of the glitter bottles broke open, covering the dead woman with little metallic sparkly bits.

“Hey, it's Esme Cullen!” Odette said pointing to the sparkly corpse as she stepped around the endcap and into view. She was holding a dark green hunting bow in her left hand, and had faux leather quiver of arrows hanging from her right hip.

“Where did you get that?” I asked, my heart pounding in my chest.

“Sporting goods. I was near there when Bob called,”

“And rather than get a gun you grabbed a bow an arrow?” I asked, “Couldn't you find the Red Ryder BB rifles?”

“I don't have keys to the gun case, now do I?”

We heard a crash a short distance away, and headed in that direction together, Odette with her bow and arrows and me with my mighty, mighty, completely useless box cutter.

We found Bob standing over a dead man, blackish blood leaking from its head. He was clutching a badly dented frying pan in his hands, and there was blood dripping from a wound in his neck and shoulder.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“I'm doing better than him,” Bob panted, pointing to the corpse on the floor, “Clean up on aisle 42, eh?”

The third zombie was killed over in automotive by Betsy Zimmer, who had brained the monster with one of the last tire irons in stock. She had managed to kill it without any injury, but she lost a part of herself in the fight. For the rest of the day she just stood around wide-eyed and silent, like something had broken inside of her..

That was it for Tom, he must have decided that it really was the end of the world, and he ordered the store closed. The gate was pulled across the front, that final register, with its three or four transactions, was counted down, and Tyranno-Mart closed forever. Kinda makes me a little misty-eyed thinking about it.

The fifth day, Thursday, I stayed at home with my sisters. Mom had not come home again on Wednesday night, but she called to let us know she was okay. She sounded bad; really tired, but I chalked that up to how much she was working.

In the afternoon I got a call from Bob from work. He said that a few of them, him, Tom, Hector, Xuxa, Tyrone, and a couple of others, were going to hole up in the T-Mart. It had food, it was secure, and they could protect the place from looters. We hadn't actually had any looting in Covenant yet, but I don't consider what I've done looting. If you do it merely to survive, it's not really looting, is it?

I thanked Bob for the offer, but turned him down. “I've got my mom and sister to look after,” I said.

“You can bring them too, we have plenty of food here for a few weeks, and I'm sure this will all be over by then,” Bob offered, “Tom's bringing his wife.”

“I got some supplies here, I'm sure we'll be fine,” I said, having no idea just how wrong I was. Although being inside the T-Mart wouldn't have made a difference in the end; might have made it worse really.

“Well give us a call if you change your mind, and we'll let you in.”

I thanked Bob again, and hung up.

Mom came home that night, and she looked horrible, all pale and stuff. She assured me that it was just exhaustion. I made dinner, and served mom in bed. She spilled her glass of juice; it was like she was having trouble seeing clearly. She barely ate anything that night.

In the morning mom told me to call the hospital and tell them that she couldn't come in; that she had a bad flu or something. I wasn't able to actually get anyone at the hospital to answer their phone, so I left voice messages at a few of the numbers I tried.

I didn't watch TV much that weekend. When I wasn't busy taking care of mom, I was taking care of the girls. They helped me with mom as much as they could, but they really were making more work for me. I didn't have the heart to tell them that though; they were scared enough as it is.

I sleep with my door closed, have since I was old enough to value my own personal privacy. It is this fact alone that probably saved my life. The girls always slept with their door open, and so did mom. I wonder if I had closed mom's door if it would have made a difference? I mean, I've seen that some of them can work door knobs.

It was Sunday morning, one week from when it all started, when my own personal world ended. I woke up to the sound of something crashing somewhere in the house. I leaped out of bed, and opened my bedroom door. My first thought was that someone had dropped something in the kitchen, but the lack of either mom cursing herself for dropping something or the girls arguing told me that wasn't the case.

My second thought was that one of the zombies had wandered into our neighborhood, and was trying to get into the house. My mind went to the shotgun in mom's closet. The gun was one of the few things my dad left us, and mom said I could take it with me when I moved out, but for the time being it stayed in her bedroom. I knew she had the shells for it in there somewhere too, and I went for her room to try and get her to tell me where they were.

Umm, things get pretty bad here, are you sure you want me to go on?

Okay, just gimme a second here...

So I went into mom's room to ask her about the gun, but the thing was she wasn't in her bed. The sheets and blankets were dragged halfway across the floor, and the lamp on her nightstand was on the floor, broken into a dozen blue ceramic pieces. There were other things on the floor too, the pictures of me and my sisters that usually sat on top of her dresser had also been knocked to the floor, the glass in a couple of the frames had broken and the pieces of glass glittered in what little light was peeking in around the curtains.

I completely forgot about getting the gun, and went to the girl's room next to check on them. What I saw there froze me in my tracks. The room was bathed in blue light from the sunshine coming through their thin curtains, and it made the blood look almost black.

The bedding from both of the girls' beds was tossed on the floor, and the nightstand between their beds was tipped forward onto the floor, the carousel lamp that sat on it looked like someone had stepped on it, and some of the crushed horses seemed to look up at me from the floor, pleading with me to put everything right again.

The sheets were more black than white, blood that could only have been from the girls was soaked into it in large splotches. Had someone broken in while I slept? Was it looters? What had they done with the girls? I should go get the gun, even if it's not loaded, maybe I can scare them off.

I started to go back towards mom's room when I heard the noise again; it was something crashing in the kitchen. I went as quietly as I could to see what it was. There was a person standing at the sink, on the floor next to her was the dish strainer with pieces of what had been the dishes I washed after Saturday night's dinner. Two of the chairs from the kitchen table were knocked over, and there was a big splash of white powder next to the stove from the flour canister that used to sit on the counter.

The person was my mother, I recognized her nightdress. She stopped moving as I approached, as if she sensed me there.

“Mom?” I asked quietly, “Are you okay?”

As I reached out to put a hand on her shoulder, she turned to face me. I'm not ashamed to admit that I did piss myself then, you would too if it was your mom, and you're a goddamned fool or a liar if you say otherwise. What stared me in the eyes, mouth open in a silent howl, was a ghoulish impersonation of my mother. Her face and the front of her nightdress were stained with drying blood. It was a deadite right out of the movies.

What I might have known, not that I would have had the balls to do anything about it, mind you, if I had watched the news the night before was that the people who had been bitten in the first couple of days were dying from an infection apparently transmitted by the blood and saliva of the zombies. You didn't have to be killed outright to succumb to the Zed Virus, you could be infected and die slowly before rising up too.

I think I said something upon seeing my zombified mother and drenching my shorts, but I don't know what it was. It was probably just gibberish; certainly not anything snarky or courageous. Bruce Campbell would have had something clever to say there, but that was still Sam Haff facing his undead mom, not me as I am now, not Ash.

Mom came at me, trying to grab me, but I stepped back, and threw one of the two chairs that were still upright down in front of me as I did. Mom tripped over the chair, and went down into the pile of flour on the floor.

I rounded the table, looking for something to use as a weapon. I passed up the knife block, there was no way I was going to be able to use anything in that against her.

Mom turned to look at me, the flour on her her face making her look like some nightmare mime, as if mimes weren't scary enough to begin with. She started to get to her feet, and I grabbed the first suitable weapon I saw, a frying pan that had been in the dish strainer was sitting on the floor.

“Stay back!” I warned my mother, brandishing the pan like a club. She came at me and I swung. It sounded, to my ears anyway, like someone ringing a church bell when the pan struck her head. She staggered back into the kitchen table, making its legs scrape on the linoleum floor.

I swung the frying pan again as my mother came at me, her milky white eyes staring at me; through me. “CLANG”, the pan hit her, “CLANG, CLANG,” I hit her again and again. She fell to the floor, and I kept hitting her until she stopped moving.

I dropped the pan on the floor with a final clank as I stood over my dead mother. I was panting from the exertion, and I realized that I was crying. My tears were not the only moisture on me though; I looked down at the white t-shirt that I has slept in and saw that I was covered in sprays of her reddish-black blood.

I think one of the most interesting things about the zombies is their blood. They seem to bleed, you know? Like a normal living person, but their blood is more black than red. Is this caused by some sort of oxygen deprivation? Is it just a byproduct of the Zed Virus? Maybe someday I'll try and find someone smarter than me who might know the answer.

After standing in the kitchen for what seemed like hours I suddenly felt the need to be somewhere else. I had to get out of the house; I had to get outside. I knew the street would look normal, and I had to get somewhere normal, I couldn't cope with this.

I ran from the kitchen, through the dining room, and into the living where I stopped short. The girls were there, trying to open the front door. I guess they wanted to get outside too. I'm not sure why they didn't come for me in the kitchen, maybe they thought it was still just mom in there making noise, maybe they can't really hear that well (I don't think this is true, as later experiences have taught that they damn well can hear). All I know for sure is if all three of them had come at me, the old Sam Haff me, in the kitchen I would not be telling you this story right now.

Mel and Becky turned on me, and if I hadn't already pissed myself, I would have then. My mother looked almost normal compared to the nightmare the girls had become. Their pajamas, cute matching things, white with lots of little blue birdies on them, were soaked in blood; their own blood.

It looked like Mom had gone for Becky first, which makes sense since her bed was closest to the door. I like to think that Becky never woke up as Mom attacked her. Her throat had been torn out, and there was just a gaping bloody hole, her blood, was still slowly flowing from the wound and down the front of her pajamas.

Mel must have woken up while the thing that was our mom was killing her sister. The sleeves of her pajamas were torn and bloodied. She must have fought hard, but she was just too small to fight off an adult, even an undead one Her head was hanging at an odd angle, I think Mom may have broken her neck.

The one thing that haunted me then, still does I guess, is that I slept through it. Mel must have screamed; must have made noise and I didn't hear it. I failed them totally and completely. Of course that's only part of what killed Sam Haff, a big part, but there's more, and I'm still getting to it if you still want to hear.

You do? Okay.

My sisters, or at least the undead monsters that had been my sisters, ran at me and I froze. The thing about kid zombies, and it's kind of an odd thing, is how fast they are. I haven't run in to too many, but they all have been so much faster than adults, and I can't figure out why.

Mel and Becky hit me, and drove me off of my feet. I hit the carpet hard with the girls on top of me, and something in me clicked. I think maybe it was beginning of who I am now; the first bit of Sam Haff turning to Ash, or maybe that was when I brained my own mother with a frying pan.... Yeah, it was probably then really, so this would be the second part of the change.

I fought; the girls were light, and I was able throw them off easily. Becky recovered first, and was back at me. As I struggled to my feet I grabbed the first thing available; the lamp on the end table next to the couch. I swung it as Becky closed on me; there was a brief resistance as the power cord tore free from the brass-colored base of the lamp. I could feel the crunch as the lamp caved Becky's skull in through my whole body. I hit her so hard that the lamp, a cheap thing to begin with, snapped in half, leaving me only a couple of inches of metal in my hand.

Before Becky had even collapsed to the floor, Mel was on me again. I stabbed her with the broken base of the lamp, turned, and threw her over the back of the couch. She crashed to the floor hard, but I could hear her already trying to get back to her feet.

I moved to the fireplace, spying what was easily the best weapon in the room. I grabbed the fireplace poker from its rack, knocking the rest of the tools onto the bricks with a clatter, and rounded on my sister as she came for me. I swung low and hard, and caught her right in the side of the head.

Mel stumbled and fell, but was still moving so I hit her again.

And again...

And again...

And again....

I realized that I was yelling at the top of my lungs as I did this. By the time I stopped my sister, young Melanie Haff was completely unrecognizable as the little girl I put to bed the night before.

I was alone in my family home surrounded by the corpses of my family. I had failed to protect them, had failed to even allow them a dignified death, but the least I could do now was to give them the proper burial that so many people would never get.

I'm sorry, give me a second here. Even though that was another lifetime, I still find it hard to remember. I know, not macho at all, right?

I didn't even bother changing clothes, all I could smell was blood and death anyway, I carried my sisters out to the backyard, and laid them down on the small patio. People talk about the idea of dead weight, but even Mom was easy to carry out there.

The back lawn, which is probably too grand a term for our backyard as it would have been too small for a medium sized inflatable pool to fit in, was overgrown. Mom had been after me for weeks to mow it, but I kept using work as an excuse not to. Personally I had thought that one of the girls could do it; I was mowing the lawn when I was nine.

I got the mower and a shovel out of the garage, and mowed the lawn quickly, which took all of maybe five minutes, and started digging. The sun was high overhead when I finished digging the three graves. Filling them in however took a lot longer, not because it was harder physically, but because....

Anyway, I felt that I should pray, or at least say something. I've never been terribly religious though, nor much of a public speaker. In the end I just sat on the grass and cried for awhile.

I guess I must have dozed off or something because the sun was disappearing over the neighbor's house when I woke. Sleeping outside like that is incredibly stupid, but I was still Sam then, and didn't think like that. What woke me up was someone calling my name.

“Sam!” a woman's voice called; it was familiar, “Sam, please be here!”

The yelling was coming from the front of the house. I got up and went inside where I could clearly hear the person pounding on the front door. I made my way through the mess that used to be a living room, and opened the door to find Odette Walker there looking slightly panicked. When she saw me her look of panic changed to one of fear, and she took a step back.

“Sam?” she asked cautiously, as if she were afraid that I were one of the undead.

“Hi, Odette,” I said.

“Are... are you okay?”

I shook my head, “No. I am very very far from okay. I'd invite you in, but the house is a bit of a mess right now.”

“What happened?”

I gave Odette a brief rundown of what happened, the first of only two times I have told anyone about that morning. Well, I guess it's three times now. It's easier this time though, like it really happened to someone else. It's like Sam Haff was a character I played in a video game; like I was never really him.

“Oh God, Sam, I'm sorry,” Odette said, her eyes wet with tears. Even though Odette lived just a couple of blocks away we didn't hang out all that much, so she had only been over to the house a couple of times before. She had met my family, but didn't really know them.

“Did you come over for something?” I asked, trying not to sound like she was inconveniencing me.

“Well, my parents went to the hospital a couple of days ago, and never came back, and neither of them are answering their phones. I was hoping you could take me there to look for them, but it's okay. If I could borrow your car though,” she said, motioning towards my old forest green Toyota Tercel in the parking lot next to Mom's brown Aerostar.

“No, no, Odette, I'll take you,” I said, knowing already that it was a horrible idea, and would almost certainly get us killed, but what did I really have to live for? “Can you just let me get cleaned up first?”

“Yeah, sure,” Odette said, smiling shyly.

I'll be honest with you, I've always found Odette attractive; she has skin the color of one of those sugary coffee milkshake things that Apollo Coffee sells... sold, and long dark hair that normally framed her face, although it was tied back in a ponytail that day. She's slim, but not skinny; well proportioned with a body that is maybe a couple of Bacon Cheese Big Bro's this side of athletic.

Now Odette was no supermodel or anything, but she had that cute girl-next-door thing going on. The main reason I'd never asked her out is that I've always felt that workplace romance is kind of inappropriate; not the romance itself, but the face that people cannot keep it outside of work. When they are still in love you always catch those people sucking face In the stockroom when they think no one is looking, and when the relationship ends they can never keep their attitudes to themselves. I just didn't want to be one of those people.

I stood there in the doorway looking at Odette, and she stood on the doorstep looking back at me, “Ummm,” she said after a few moments, “Can I come in though? It's kind of creepy out here.”

I looked back at the living room, at the mess of things knocked over by my sisters, the drying blood from when I beat them back into unlivingness, and thought that it was kinda creepy inside too. Then again, if looking at me didn't send Odette running in terror, then I guess the crime scene that was my house wouldn't be considerably worse.

“Yeah,” I said hesitantly, “You can wait in my room if you want,” I said, “No one died in there.”

Yes, I really said that.

No, I'm not offended that you ask; I know if I read that in a book or heard it in a movie I would call bullshit on it, but I didn't know what else to say. What did you say the first time you killed a zombie?

So Odette sat on my bed while I went and took a shower. My room was not exactly clean, but there were no splatters of blood or anything in it. It seemed a bit odd to leave her in my room alone to see what a dork I really am, but the only other room that hadn't had a zombie in it was the bathroom, and I was using that.

When I came back into the room wearing a fresh t-shirt and a pair of jeans she was watching TV. On the screen they were showing the fighting going on in New York as the National Guard tried to stop the spread of the zombies and evacuate the city. This was after that briefly famous video of the Wolf News New York studio being overrun live on the air, so I knew it was probably old video being run out of the network's LA studio which wouldn't go off the air for a few more days still.

“It's really the end, isn't it?” Odette asked me.

I shrugged, “Probably.”

“Can we go look for my parents?”

“Yeah, but did you bring any weapons with you? Weapons seem like a really good idea right now.” I said.

“No, I left my Robin Hood set at the store,” Odette said, forcing a smile, and that made me laugh.

“Then let me go find something,” I said, and left Odette in my room again while I went to my Mom's room.

I turned on the lights, and went to Mom's closet. The shotgun itself was in the black hard-sided plastic case leaning up against the back wall exactly where it should be, and the key to the case was stuck to the back of the Thomas Kinkade print next to the window. The challenge was finding the shotgun shells.

Mom wasn't anti-gun or anything, but she didn't want to risk one of the girls hurting themselves, so she kept the gun and ammunition separate, and didn't even tell me where she kept the shells. I'm not sure what the point of that was because I could have just bought my own at work if I had wanted to.

I eventually found two boxes of shotgun shells hidden inside of a shoebox under the bed labeled “2002 tax receipts”. As you may guess there was no thought ever given to needing the gun in an emergency.

When I got back to my room with the shotgun and ammo I found Odette asleep on my bed as two people who looked like they haven't slept in a couple of days argued on TV over whether or not the loss of New York City would have an effect in the next election. Idiots.

The streets of Covenant were downright eerie as we drove towards the hospital to try and find the fate of Odette's parents. They were almost totally deserted I think we saw two other cars, and a half dozen of what were either people on foot, or zombies.

Now I knew that chances were good that Odette's parents met a similar fate to my own family, but I wasn't going to say that to her as we slowly moved through the streets. At this point trying to help her out was keeping me going as much as anything else. If she hadn't come along I would probably have still been in the backyard feeling sorry for myself.

The inside of a Toyota Tercel was clearly not designed with carrying a shotgun in mind. Odette had to roll down the window and have the barrel sticking out of it to hold it comfortably. The alternative was to have the barrel pointed across the front of me, and there were a number of reasons that I didn't want that.

We didn't make it to the hospital that day; we didn't even get within two blocks. We could see the hospital building towering above the shorter buildings around it from a distance, but the streets around it were crawling with the undead.

I have never figured out why there are so may of them there; even today the only place that seems to have more of them around it is what's left of Mallville. Is it because so many of them rose there, or are they drawn there by something?

Three blocks from the hospital I stopped the car; there were at least a dozen zombies on the road ahead of us. Now maybe if this had been in a movie I would have just plowed through the things, but it wasn't; I knew this because if it were a movie I would have been driving something nicer than a beat up old forest green Toyota Tercel. A van, a Hummer maybe, but not my piece of crap car.

We ended up abandoning our quest, and I took Odette back home. She asked me to stay with her, and I agreed. I was not ready to face my house, nor did I really want to be alone. Nothing happened though, I slept on the couch, the shotgun on the floor next to me just in case.

Odette and I spent the next two weeks together living out of her house as the rest of the world died. I know you're expecting me to say that we did all the things that young people in end-of-the-world movies do like break into stores and try on lots of clothes, and steal fast cars and drive around the city at ludicrously dangerous speeds, and then abandoning them, doors left open of course, when they get damaged or run out of gas. We didn't.

What we did do is start stockpiling supplies. We went back to T-Mart to try and see if they would let us have some food and ammo, but no one answered our banging on the doors, and the power and phones had gone out by then, so we couldn't even call them. That didn't stop us from trying other places though.

I guess it was when we broke into that hardware store that I really started to become the me I am now. I saw those chainsaws there, and just could not resist taking a couple to use.

“Umm, Sam,” Odette had objected when she saw me with two chainsaws in my cart, “Don't those things have safety devices to keep them from being used on people?”

“Yeah, but I'm a smart guy, I'm sure I can figure out how to fix that,” I told her confidently.

I did too. Of course I realized shortly there after that a gas powered chainsaw had some dramatic drawbacks. Aside from the obvious use of gas that we really couldn't spare there was the fact that leaving it idling all the time made quite a bit of noise. The noise not only bothered Odette and covered up any noise that creeping zombies might be making, but it also seemed to attract them.

We found this out the hard way while searching the neighborhood for any survivors. We had gone around the back of one house to look in through the windows, and when we came back around the front there were three of the zombies there waiting for us. Odette took out two of them with the shotgun, and I killed the third with my safety-free chainsaw. We figured that they must have heard the saw idling, and came after the source of the sound.

The saw did work really well though, it tore through zombie flesh like it were a thin tree limb, and I found that if I hold the saw in front of me in a defensive posture it made it impossible for the zombie to get close enough to bite anything but my arm; I just had to make sure my arm didn't get anywhere near its mouth.

As far as survivors go, we only found one. A guy a couple of blocks away who threatened to shoot us if we didn't get away from his house. He seemed pretty dangerous, so we left. It's kind of a shame since I imagine he was well armed. He had this big camouflaged truck with an NRA for Life bumper sticker on it. I've never bothered going back there though.

After a couple of days of lugging around the gas powered saws we hit the hardware store and picked up a couple of cordless electric chainsaws. According the the signage in the store these were new models with “the longest bar of any cordless chainsaw on the market”. Not only were they silent unless I was actually running the chain, but they weighed a bit less than the gas powered ones as well.

I also picked up a bunch of spare batteries, chargers, and this weird scissor looking chainsaw called The Alligator. I think was planning on catching the zombies arms in the thing or something, but I've never found a real use for it.

Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking, “but if the power was out already, how did you plan are charging the batteries?” That's simple, the sun. We also picked up some of those solar charging mats that they used to use for charging RV batteries and stuff like that. They work beautifully for charging spare batteries for my saw.

Everything went great until I failed Odette utterly and completely, and I lost the new world I had created for myself.

We had strayed too close to the police station and found a roadblock set up with cars parked across the road. There were at least two dozen dead bodies there, zombies we thought, but I don't know really. If I had known what would happen I would have turned around and got the hell out of there.

I parked the car by the roadblock, and got out. “Hello?” I yelled into the empty street on the other side. I figured someone had to block the road, and maybe that someone was still over there.

“Get back into your car, and leave immediately!” an amplified voice replied.

I looked around, but didn't see the source of the voice.

“Who are you?” I called out, “Are you from Mallville?” I asked, figuring that if it was those bikers they would have just shot me.

“Return to your vehicle and leave immediately or we will open fire!” the voice commanded.

“Are you nuts?” I asked.

The was a cracking noise, like a branch breaking, and Odette screamed. I turned to see a small hole in the windshield of my car. They had shot my car. While I watched there was a second cracking noise, and another hole appeared next to the first.

“Sam!” Odette screamed.

A third crack, and I felt bits of the road spray up and hit my legs. They had shot right in front of me; I was lucky that the bullet didn't ricochet into me.

I jumped in the car as fast as a I could, started the engine, and slammed the car into reverse. Two more bullets struck the windshield while I tried to turn the car around. They were shooting at us; I don't know if they were trying to actually hit either of us since the bullets kept hitting the center of the windshield, and maybe what happened was an accident when I was turning around, I do know, but....

I sped away, and even though I could'nt hear the rifle shots anymore, I could hear bullets pinging against the back of the car; the rear window shattered. I looked over, and saw Odette's head lolling forward, blood leaking from her mouth. They had shot her. She was my chance at redemption, and I had failed her just like I failed my sisters.

My world spun, not from anxiety or anything like that, it literally spun. I'm not sure what happened; maybe they hit a tire, maybe it was my shitty driving, but the car flipped. I saw the world outside rotate, and felt the butt of the shotgun hit me in the jaw as it slipped from Odette's hands and flew around the interior of the car.

Mercifully darkness took me.

Something pulling at me woke me up. Everything was blurry at first, but I could tell it was dark. There were actually two things pulling at me, one was tight across my chest, my seatbelt, the other was a cold hand reaching through the gap between the deformed window frame and the road. The car had ended up upside down, and it was a miracle that I hadn't broken my neck of cracked my skull open when the roof collapsed in on me.

I looked to my right, and saw Odette hanging there a pool of drying blood was on the ceiling under her with the shotgun laying in it. She didn't rise, I think one of the shots struck her in the head; she was dead before the crash. I had to get out of there, and not just because something was pawing at me from the outside.

What exactly happened at that point is all a bit fuzzy. I remember being in pain. I remember dropping to the ceiling of the car, although I'm not sure if I unbuckled the seatbelt or if I had to cut it with something. I remember sliding under Odette; through her blood, and out the window on her side where the car hadn't collapsed as badly.

I am pretty sure I shot the zombie that was trying to get at me through my window with both barrels. When I went back later there was a nearly headless body next to the car. I did give Odette a decent burial in my old backyard next to my family; next to the other people that I failed.

I lost most of a couple of weeks after that. It was kind of a blurry fuzzy montage sequence of me building stuff, killing zeds, gathering supplies, that sort of thing. Hopefully there was a catchy tune that went along with it, but I don't remember what it was.

The next clear memory I have is of me as I am now. Sam Haff was gone and now there's only Ash. I had built a bracer out of aluminum that attached to the end of one of the electric chainsaws and it not only covered my hand and forearm, but it distributed the weight so that I could swing it easier with only one hand. I suppose that I'm lucky that I didn't actually lop off my hand and try to attach the saw to the stump during that lost time.

I was also not wearing my standard t-shirts and jeans anymore, but a blue denim shirt and brown work pants along with thick boots. Some might argue that this look is not fashionable, but it is badass.

So, from my mind anyway, I went from this kinda dreamy existence of those lost weels to being surrounded by five zombies in a grocery store with my chainsaw in one hand and my good ol' double barrel in the other. I don't know how I got there, or how I got in that particular situation, but I do know one thing, something I mist have learned during that missing time.

I knew that the were two keys to survival. One, don't be afraid to die. Two, take the fight to them.

I squeezed the trigger of the chainsaw, and struck out at the three zombies on my right while giving one of the ghouls on my left a face full of buckshot. My saw tore into the zombies, and I saw a hand and a few fingers fly off as I cut through them.

I fired the other barrel into the remaining zombie on my left, making its head resemble a rotten soft-boiled egg that someone had dropped on the floor, and leaned into the attackers on my right, tearing deep into their flesh until they fell to the ground. Once all the zombies were down I reloaded the shotgun, not easy to do left handed, let me tell you, and shot the one zombie that was still twitching.

That's it, that's my story. I found myself a nice little apartment above a used book store and filled it with supplies and spent my days and nights hoarding supplies and kicking deadite ass. I didn't need anyone, and no one needed me.

Sure I had to hide from the cops and the bikers, and there was that time I helped those people from Mallville, but for the most part I've been on my own because I knew none of those groups would survive; they would all fail eventually, and I was right.

Someone attacked the cops, I'm not sure if it was Mallville of the Postmen, although I'm pretty sure it was Mallville, but they slaughtered every last one of them as best I can tell. Then the Mallville people attacked and killed the Postmen. That left Mallville as the only large group of survivors in the city.

You know, when I first ran into that group from Mallville; they invited me to join them, they knew that they needed a badass like me, but I said no. I knew that they couldn't last, and now Mallville is overrun with the dead and unlivable. Even I am not crazy enough to try and get in there for supplies, and believe me, I've been tempted

I ran into a couple of groups from Mallville shortly after the explosion there. The funny thing is that the first group was mostly the same people I had seen before, and the second group was looking for the first. Both invited me to go with them, but I still wasn't ready to be around people yet, and they were pretty much the last living people I've seen.

Well that's not totally true. Last month I saw a skinny guy in a brown coat running down the street outside with a red haired woman. I went after them, but they disappeared around a corner and I lost them. Then of course there's you.

That was quite a stunt you pulled, trying to slide across that power line with your bat like that. Too bad it sagged in the middle, huh? How did you even get trapped on that roof like that? Still, I got to you before they did, and with a little bang-bang and a little buzz-buzz I got you out of there. Too bad you weren't awake to see me, 'cause baby, I was amazing!

Don't try to get up. As far as I can tell you didn't break anything, but you should probably rest. You should stay here for awhile, maybe. I'm used to being on my own and all, but maybe it would be nice to have someone to talk to sometimes. I had this volleyball for awhile, but I had to get rid of him when he started talking back, you know?

Besides, every king needs a queen, right? Hail to the king, baby!

Ow! That hurt!

Fifty-Fourth Entry: The Coming Storm

2010-04-20T04:34:00.000-07:00

August 19th

I had a dream last night. In the dream, none of this was happening; no Lovelock, no Mallville, no zombies. In the dream I worked in an office, and had my own little cubicle. Sharon was in the cubicle to my right, Beth to my left, and Gerry was on the other side of the wall, his chair facing me if I could see him.

My desk was littered with little plastic figurines. I remember seeing a tachikoma, a bob-omb, a Smurf with a wooden nose and feet (I think he was called Clockwork Smurf), and a Harry Potter LEGO minifigure. I don;t know what it was that I was meant to do at that desk, I didn't do any actual work in the dream.

There were other people there too. Tara was our supervisor, and Alex was her boss, and while I never actually saw her, I could hear Maria somewhere in the office cursing at the copy machine. I also saw Pippa pushing a mail cart, maybe she was some sort of intern or something; her hair was short and and a dark shade of red. She smiled at me when she handed my a small stack business sized envelopes as she pushed her cart past the opening of my cube.

“Psst!” a voice said to my right; I looked over and saw Sharon's head poking over the top of the cubicle wall.

“What?” I asked.

“You ready for the con this weekend?

“Yeah. Did you get your costume finished?”

“Yup! If you want to come over tonight, I'll show it to you. I think it looks pretty good, but my contacts haven't arrived yet.”

“I'm sure you'll be the best Suiseiseki there anyway,” I replied.

“Nerds!” Gerry's voice drifted over the wall, but there was no malice in it.

“Geeks, actually.” I corrected him

“You're just jealous. You wish you were cool enough to spend the weekend looking at scantily clad cosplay girls,” Sharon added.

“Are you going to be scantily clad?” Gerry asked.

“No,” I laughed, “Suiseiseki practically wears a burkha.”

“Pfft, forget it then. I have the Internet; I can look at all of the scantily clad women I want from the comfort of my home,” Gerry sniffed.

“Hey kids, some of us are actually trying to work here,” Beth reminded us over her wall, “If you guys have so much free time, I'm sure Tara can find more work for you to do.”

“Yes mom,“ Gerry said.

“Can we get everyone to move to the conference room please?” I heard Tara's voice nearby, “Alex has some announcements he wants to make.”

“Oh, the wardens call,” Gerry crowed just loud enough for those immediately around him to hear.

There was a hand on my shoulder, I turned and saw Tara looking like she did when I first met her; her hair was dark brown again and she was smiling warmly, “Come on,” she said, “We don't have a lot of time, and you don't want to miss this.”

As I rose from my desk, I woke up in my dark room on my makeshift bed on the floor. It took me a few confused seconds to realize that it had all been a dream. I cried for awhile; something I've been doing far too much lately. Everything there was so normal, and everyone was alive and safe, and it felt good. I wonder if there is some other reality somewhere where I am living that life. I wonder if that me realizes how lucky he is.

Things are bad all around right now; my life is falling apart again, and this journal is the cause of a lot of it. I knew I should have kept it with me and not gone back to hiding it in my room, but I didn't feel I had much to write about, and I wanted to conserve these final pages for what is coming; it seems like it is a good place to end this book, and start a new one; maybe things will be better in that one.

Pippa played a part in all of this, of course. I guess she feels that I have not been spending enough time with her (and to be fair, she has been left on her own a lot lately with Gerry being on runs a lot, me being with Tara, and Beth hanging out with Barbara, more on that shortly), so she decided to get back at me. She let Tara read the journal.

Now one might not think this is too bad a thing. I've never really said anything bad about her in here, and have indeed confessed my love for her repeatedly, and maybe if she had read the whole thing she might have seen that. She didn't read the whole thing though.

I came home two nights ago after my shift at the gate, afternoon this time, and it was miserable because it has been raining all week. It looks like winter may come early, but not early enough to really do us any good. I'll get to that more in a minute though.

I come into my room, and there's Tara sitting on my makeshift bed (she had spent the night) with the journal in her lap. She looked up at me when I came in, and I could tell from her icy blue eyes that I was in trouble.

“You son of a bitch!” Tara snarled.

I froze like a deer in headlights, “What?” I asked.

“How dare you play with my emotions!”

“Should I come in again, and we can start by explaining what I've done wrong?'

Tara held up the journal, “Pippa showed me where you hid it!'

Damn it, Pippa!

“Okay,” I said, still confused, “I was going to let you read it eventually anyway, but-”

“You lied to me!” Tara yelled. I could see now that the icy blue was ringed by red, like she had been crying.

“About what?”

“About Sharon!”

“I told you that we were together.”

“You didn't tell me that you got married!”

“It's not like it was a legal marriage or anyth-”

“You got married in a church by a preacher! Who gives a shit about a piece of paper from a government that doesn't even exist anymore?”

“You told me you had someone else too.”

“I didn't marry him! I wanted you! I kept hoping that somehow we would find you, and that you would be waiting for me. I finally find you, and you're not even the same person, but that's okay, because we all change, right?” Tara rambled, “But you didn't tell me that you got married! You kept me going along thinking that things were going to be good between us again. You treated me like an idiot!”

Part of me wanted to throw Oliver in her face. I still haven't explained fully to her why he was over here that day, and I somehow doubt he has either. Part of me wanted to tell her she was being an idiot. What I really told her was, “I didn't think it mattered. I mean she's... she's dead, Tara.”

Tara crossed the room and get right in my face, or as close as she could manage “If it didn't matter, then why did you keep it a secret from me?”

I suppose that's a fair question really, especially since Beth told me to tell her. I think I didn't tell her because I was afraid she would react like this, which I think actually validates my decision in a way.

“I wasn't keeping it a secret, I just didn't think it was relevant.”

Tara is a physically stronger person that she used to be; she may look frail but she hits hard. She slapped me across the face hard enough to make me stagger back into the hallway, “No, why would it be?”

“Tara, I-,” she slapped me again, “Stop doing that!”

“Don't talk to me!” Tara yelled, “Just leave me alone! I'm not your fucking consolation prize.”

This was all a bit odd coming from someone who is living with her on-the-road boyfriend, but also someone who only was seeing be because Alex Sigler was having it off with the woman I was in love with. I mean, wasn't our falling for each other just an accident to begin with? Was I really wrong for being with Sharon afterwards?

“I never thought of you like that,” I said.

“You never asked me to marry you either!”

“There were reasons I asked her, didn't you read it?”

“Yeah, I read how she tried to kill you! If I come after you with a sword, would you ask me then? Maybe I should lose my mind, would that do it? Should I just try and make you feel sorry for me?”

Her words were hurting a lot more than her hands, and I started replying in quieter tones, “If you had been there, if you hadn't chosen Alex over me, it would never have happened.”

Tara's eyes went wide, “So it's my fault? Fuck you!” With that she slammed the journal into my chest, and let it fall to the floor. She pushed past me, “Let me know when you grow up and stop being such a user!”

Tara stormed out of the house, punctuating her departure by slamming the door; an exclamation point at the end of her statement. I haven't seen her since. I tried to go to her house yesterday, but Toni answered the door and told me that Tara didn't want to see me.

“Do you hate me too?” I asked.

“No, I know that things can't be the way she is making them out to be, but you need to understand that she never stopped thinking about you, even when she was... you know, even then she still was thinking about you. Just give her some time, hon, she'll come around. You're not the only one that was writing out there on the road, you know?”

“Tell her I'm sorry, and I love her, okay?”

“You got it,” Toni looked sad, “I'm serious, she loves you so much, I think just seeing that stuff in writing was too much for her. She'll come around.”

“Just how much did she tell you?”

“Enough to make you sound like a bad guy, but she's just hurt, you know? I know you're not a bad guy.”

“Thanks, Toni.”

“You take care, and I'll send Bishop down if there's any developments, okay?”

“Yeah, thanks,” I did my best to smile, but I doubt it was very convincing.

Beth did her best to comfort me while keeping the I-told-you-so's to a minimum.

“ I told you to tell her,” Beth said.

“I know you did..”

“This is exactly the sort of disruption to this house that I wanted to avoid. Now you're upset, Pippa's upset,”

“What is Pippa upset about?” I asked, “This is her fault.”

“That's why she's upset. I don't think she meant to cause trouble this time. I think she genuinely thought that Tara would appreciate all of the things you said about her in it,“ Beth said, “apparently, anyway, not that I've read it.”

“Well she focused on the stuff about Sharon.”

“Women are strange, you should realize that by now. Toni's right though, if she really does love you, then she'll get over it. You should talk to Pippa though.”

“I really don't want to do that right now,” I said.

“I know, and you shouldn't until you are sure you're not going to yell at her, but you do need to talk... again.”

“How do I keep getting myself in these situations?”

“You're a man.”

“Thanks.”

“Listen, I need to get ready, are you going to be okay here tonight?”

“Do you have a date?”

“I'm just going to Bacchus with Barbara,” Beth answered.

“Oh? So what's going on there, anyway?”

“We're friends,” Beth replied, maybe a little too quickly.

“Okay, but you know you can talk to me as much as I talk to you.”

Beth bit her lip, “Okay, yeah, I like her.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Oh, okay?” Beth asked, “That's all you have to say?”

“What did you expect me to say?” I asked, “Can I watch, or something?”

“Well, kind of, yeah.”

“I think you are both attractive women, but I've got enough trouble with the woman I am already involved with, I don't need to go pissing you off. Plus I've seen how Barbara hits, and don't really want to be on the receiving end of it”

Beth looked at me strangely, “Did you already know?”

“I had wondered, yeah.”

“And it doesn't bother you?”

Now it was my turn to look at her strangely, “Do you really think that little of me?”

“No, it's just that guys usually act strange around me when they know, I don't know why.”

“They're just afraid that you'll steal their girlfriends,” I said, and winked.

“Well, Tara is kind of cute... the silver hair gives her a unique look.”

“I'll let her know you're interested.”

“I'll kick your ass if you do.” Beth said, and we both laughed.

I think that may only be the second time she's opened up to me, usually it's all of us opening up to her. It must get tiring for her to not have anyone to talk to.

Beth gave me a kiss on the cheek, “You really are a sweet guy. Tara's going to realize how lucky she is to have you. Just give her some time.”

“If we have time,” I said.

“Yeah, that. Are you coming out with us tomorrow?” Beth asked.

“Doctor Byron sent me an email and said that I could. I guess it'll be better to see what we're up against than leave it up to my imagination.”

“You should ride with me and Justin then,” Beth said, “We can play I Spy.”

“You don't seem very worried,” I commented.

“We've survived this long, I don't care how many zeds there are, they have to fit into four lanes to get to us, we'll wipe them out in a bottleneck like that,” Beth said with such confidence that I believe her.

I mean look at all the crap we've been through, and we've survived, and now we are part of an organized force who won't make the mistakes of the early days of the end. We will not show mercy, we will not treat them as human, and we will win. I am getting out of order again though.

A little while later, Beth came by my room before going out. I have to admit, she looked good.

“Pigtails?” I asked, looking at the two fountains of black hair spraying of the sides of her head.

“She likes them, maybe it's a teacher thing.”

“That's a little creepy,” I said, getting up off of my makeshift bed, and coming over to the door.

Beth shrugged, “Are you sure you're going to be okay tonight?”

“I'll be fine, just go already.” I said, gently pushing her down the hallway.

“Talk to Pippa, okay?”

“I make no promises.”

Beth stopped our progress down the hall, and turned to face me, “Really, you two need to talk... again,” she thought for a moment, “You know, really, the two of you are like some sort of really dark sitcom siblings.”

“I am glad to be here to amuse you.”

Beth chuckled, and gave me a hug, “Tara really will come around, you know?”

“If she doesn't, then it wasn't meant to be.”

“Wow, that's awfully mature. Do you really believe that?'

'I like to think that I do.”

Beth gave me a kiss on the cheek, “I'd better go, thanks for not freaking out.”

“I am a little insulted that you think I would,” I said, but smiling.

“Don't wait up, okay? I'm taking the car.”

With Beth gone, it was kind of like being home alone. Pippa stayed in her room, and I stayed in mine. I heard her in the kitchen at one point heating up a can of something to eat, but I kept my door closed.

I wanted to be the bigger person, really I did, but every time I thought about talking to her I got this incredible urge to either scream or cry. So once again it was Pippa that initiated things. I hope to God that this is the last one of these little talks we ever have to have.

It was close to midnight, and I was lying in bed reading when she knocked softly at the door.

“Can I come in?” Pippa asked softly.

I put the book aside, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. After exhaling, I answered calmly, “Yeah, come in.”

Pippa opened the door slowly, and stuck her head in, “Do you hate me now?”

Hate is a bit strong....

“No, Pippa, I don't hate you, I'm just upset.”

“I'm sorry,” she said.

“I know you are,” I took a breath, and then tried to ask my next question as nicely as possible, “Can you just tell me why you did it? What was going through your mind when you gave her the journal?”

“I thought that maybe is she saw how much you missed her she would choose you over Oliver. I don't like him; he's a douche.”

“But Pippa, honey, my journal is private,” again, I was trying to keep my tone as pleasant as possible, “That's why I have asked you not to read it. I would have shown it to her when I felt it was the right time.”

“I know. I promise not to look in it again without your permission,” Pippa was studying the pink socks on her feet instead of looking at me, “Would it help if I went and talked to her?”

“No, you're not the one she's mad at, and she doesn't want to talk to me.”

“Beth says that she thinks Tara'll get over it.”

“Toni thinks that too, but only time will tell.”

“Do we have time?” Pippa asked, finally looking me in the face, ”I mean with the zeds coming?”

“Beth seems to think so. I haven't seen them yet, so I couldn't really tell you.”

“You're still mad at me, huh?” I guess I must not have been doing such a great job of hiding my mood.

“Yeah, I am, but I'm also tired and upset,” I answered honestly.

“I really was trying to help, like you and Beth did with Richard.”

“I know, and I appreciate what you thought you were doing, just please ask me before you do something like that again, okay?”

“Okay,” Pippa said.

“I'm going to be totally honest with you; I am very very upset right now, partly with you, partly for other reasons, but that doesn't mean that I don't care about you. Short of killing me yourself, there is not much you could do to change that.”

“So you'll still be my big brother?”

I think that was the first time she has ever referred to me like that, to my face anyway, and it made me feel bad inside for being so mad at her.

“Of course.”

Pippa came into my room, and knelt down on the bedding. She crawled over to me, and gave me a hug. I hugged her back.

“I love you, Pippa,” I said softly.

“Perv!” she whispered back.

“Not like that, you brat!” I said, playfully pushing her away, and then throwing a pillow at her for good measure.

Pippa scrambled to her feet, and ran out the door as I threw another pillow that harmlessly bounced off the door frame.

“Goodnight, big brother!” she yelled as she ran to her room. I heard the door shut behind her.

I went to sleep shortly after that, and had that dream. It was so vivid; maybe this is all a dream, and that's my real life. What I would give to live in that world; where Sharon, and Alex, and Maria are all still alive, and there are no flesh eating monsters roaming the Earth.

I fell back to sleep at some point after the dream, because the next thing I heard was Beth knocking on my door, “Come on, get up if you're coming with us!” she yelled.

I had slept a lot later than I normally do, it was already ten. I had to rush to get ready before Beth left. Gerry had gotten home sometime this morning, and was coming with us as well. Pippa wanted to come, but we all told her that she couldn't. I sometimes wonder how she likes essentially have three parents now.

Beth drove me and Gerry to the hospital where we would all leave from.

“So I hear that Tara read your diary?” Gerry asked during the ride.

“Yup, and now she won't talk to me,” I answered

“See, that's why I keep it all inside; up here,” Gerry tapped the right side of his forehead for emphasis.

“You can't keep it inside forever though, Gerry,” Beth said, “You'll lose your mind at some point.”

“I don't think that would be a great loss,” Gerry said, “Sorry to hear about you and Tara though, I hope you two make up.”

“I don't want to lose her again,” I said.

“You won't,” Beth insisted, “Just give her space and time and stop worrying about it.”

I looked at Gerry, and he shrugged in reply, “If anyone in this car knows about women, it's Beth,” he said.

“What's that supposed to me?” Beth asked indignantly.

“That you're a woman,” Gerry replied, grinning. Did she tell him before me?

Beth found a parking spot where she could plug in the Xebra so we could get home later. We joined Justin Lassit in a waiting Genetitech Security car; well, Beth and I did, Gerry went to ride with some other people from Acquisitions. Barbara filled the empty spot in the backseat with me. I would have offered to switch with Beth, but I don't know who she has and hasn't told about her lifestyle, and it probably would be against the rules for her to sit in the back anyway.

Our convoy to Harlan was pretty long. I think something like a hundred of us actually went. Even though Doctor Byron had not acknowledged the problem officially yet, a lot of people already knew what we could be facing and wanted to see it for themselves.

“I'm sorry about your girlfriend,” Barbara commented to me as we rode.

“Yeah, that's rough,” Justin said from the driver's seat, “I had a girlfriend once who found my blog, so I know what you're going through.”

“Just how many people did you tell?” I asked Beth.

“Umm... a few.”

It was early afternoon when we finally arrived in Harlan. I didn't realize there were places in America that are as isolated as Lovelock is. Well, in Alaska maybe, but not in the lower forty-eight. Our caravan slowed to a stop outside of town though.

Doctor Byron's voice crackled over the car's radio, “Could everyone please move towards the front? Thank you.”

“I guess this is where we get out,” said Justin, turning off the car's power.

We joined the group of people walking up the road to the top of the hill where a White SUV (electric, I'm sure) was parked. I could tell where Doctor Byron was standing amongst the crowd of security officers, scientists, and civilians like myself because she was holding a blue parasol up even though he sky was cloudy.

I worked my way to the front of the crowd, leaving Beth, Justin, and Barbara behind amongst the other familiar and unfamiliar faces. What I saw when I reached the top of the hill froze my blood. From there we could look down over a good portion of Harlan. I could make out the fenced off area where we had done the weapons tests not too long ago; it was easy to spot, as it was the only space in the town where I could see the ground. It seemed like every other square inch of the town was covered in the walking dead..

If you've ever seen army ants in action, then you have some idea of what this looked like; every visible open space was filled with writhing shambling undead. It was last Halloween multiplied by about 5000.

“So you see it!” Doctor Byron spoke loudly from close by; I hadn't realized I had gotten so close to her, although the parasol should have been a hint. Even without any sort of amplification her voice carried surprisingly well, “They are coming closer to Lovelock every day, and we will need to stop them or lose all that we have worked for.”

“This is why we have spent so much time building weapons. I knew that we would need them eventually, and that time has come,” Doctor Byron announced, “Tomorrow I will be making an announcement on TV about this, and everyone in Lovelock will be able to see what we are up against, and what I plan to do about it.”

It was then that I realized that I was standing in front of a KVMS news van. I looked off to the side of the road at the front of the crowd and saw a man with a large camera perched on his shoulder. He was filming the mob below us.

“I will let all of you know now what I am going to tell everyone else then; We will win, Lovelock will not fall to the animated corpses, humanity will not fail. We begin the fight for Lovelock now!”

A horn honked loud, and everyone turned at once to see one of the larger trucks trying to pull out of the column of cars into the oncoming lane. It crept forward slowly as men and women cleared a path for it. As it drew nearer I could see Doctors Carraway and Hutchins in the cab of it. Two security cars followed; I recognized Beth's friend Kyle in the passenger seat of the second one.

“Have at them, doctors!” Doctor Byron called, and everyone cheered.

Once clear of people the truck accelerated down the hill towards Harlan, and I could tell that the cameraman from the TV station was taping it the whole way. When they were about two hundred yards away from the slowly advancing front edge of the horde, the truck stropped. The two security cars stopped farther back, and made u-turns so that they were facing us at the top of the hill so they could get away faster.

The four security officers exited the cars, each one carrying what looked like FN 2000 rifles (they might have been something else, I was kinda far away). They spread out in front of the truck that the scientists were in, and watched the tide of undead slowly surging towards them.

Doctor Carraway hopped down from the driver's side of the truck, and doctor Hutchins from the passenger side. Before either of them got to the back of the truck the door started to slide up, and doctor Vang jumped out. Vang and Carraway climbed up the ramp and disappeared into the back of the truck.

When they started to roll down the ramp, a few people cheered, the rest did not know what they were seeing yet. Rolling down the truck's ramp, one after the other, were two of the Battlebot looking Da Vinci Scythe Chariots. They still had their two levels of curved blades on the top like pair of helicopter rotors, but now also had large curved scythe blades protruding from the sides of its body right above the tank treads, and a stubby, spiked, almost drill head looking thing sticking out of the front and back of the body. Basically there would now be no safe way to approach these things as long as they were moving.

Doctor Hutchins stood well back from the truck as Vang and Carraway jumped down from the back of the truck, and maneuvered the almost vending machine sized robots around to the front. They put their controllers down on the road surface, and ran around to the back of the truck while Doctor Hutchins went to each of the chariots and did... something to them. Even if I was standing right next to her whole she did it, I probably would still not be able to describe what she was doing.

While Hutchins tended to the robots, Vang and Carraway wrestled the trucks ramp back up. The zeds were getting closer to them now, and they needed to be able to get away quickly too. They pulled the truck's door down, and Carraway went and climbed back into the driver's seat while Vang joined Margaret Hutchins.

A zed broke free from the pack, a small one, a child. It was heading straight for Doctor Hutchins, who was now closest to the front of the zombie horde. The little ghoul was practically running, but before it got halfway across the shrinking gap between the zeds and the humans Kyle fired two shots from his rifle into the creature's head; the two weak popping noises reached my ears a moment after I saw the muzzle flashes. The momentum of the little monster carried it forward, and it slammed face first into the road. The child lay still.

Doctor Carraway didn't have quite enough room to turn the truck around in one try without running into the steep slope on the left side of the road, and had to back up to finish. When he was done though, he hopped back down from the truck, and rejoined Vang and Hutchins by the scythe chariots. It was time to put on a show.

I understood watching this that the whole point of this was to be a morale booster. Doctor Byron will make her speech in the morning, and counter the shock of what we face with this example of how we would face it. There were thousands of zeds in that pack, and there is no way that these two machines would be able to make a significant dent in their number, but it would show people that we are prepared to fight, and that we do have hope of winning.

The three doctors backed away from the scythe chariots, and as the blades started to rotate, people cheered. To me it looked like they were spinning faster that then had been the last time I had seen one, but then I wasn't so far away last time. The two Ginsu whirlybirds rolled forward towards the zombies at a high rate of speed.

Carnage is the best way to describe what happened next. When the spinning blades hit the first of the zombies it was like someone had dropped them into a blender; the blades cut through them like they were made of paper, paper filled with packets of blood, but paper all the same, sending pieces of heads and arms flying through the air in a spray of blackish infected blood. Headless and partially headless zeds fell into the midst of the other zeds as the blades protruding from the sides of the chariots bodies took their legs out from under them.

The scythe chariots cut a wide path through the zeds, but now moved slower as the treads had to climb over the bodies of the already fallen ghouls. More zeds filled the holes that the chariots cut, now surrounding the machines, but from our vantage point at the top of the hill we could still see them tearing through the flesh of the undead, sending a mist of gore into the air above them.

The most interesting thing to me, aside from seeing the zeds getting hacked apart a half dozen at a time, is that most of the zeds seemed to have forgotten about the humans now less than a hundred yards away from them. They were focusing on the scythe chariots. Part of me thinks that they were attacking them, that some part of them still knows to defend themselves, but then another part of me remembers Sharon.

I know I haven't written much of it, but I have not forgotten Sharon rising. I wish I could forget, but I can't, and I never will. I remember her asking me to kill her, and maybe it's only because she had just risen, and that was one of her last conscious thoughts, but I still believe she was in there. What if they were charging the scythe chariots because they were looking for that release? What if they were trying to free themselves from the rotting prison of their bodies?

Some of the zombies were still trying to get at the doctors and security officers though, and ones that broke from the pack were quickly dispatched with carefully aimed gunfire. Even with the scythe chariots cutting wide swathes through the mob, it still moved forward from the edge of Harlan and onto the highway. Like Beth said though, this is good for us, as it forms a relatively narrow bottleneck.

As the road travels up to where we stood, the sheer wall of the mountain forms the border at one side, and a pretty steep drop borders the other. Their front line could not be wider than the four lanes of road and the narrow shoulders at each side. If it weren't for the sheer numbers forcing them forward, a couple of the scythe chariots alone could probably hold them back.

Of course it was only a matter of time before disaster struck. One of the chariots, the one Doctor Carraway was controlling judging by him waving his hands around when it happened, tipped over. Some pieces of the metal scythes went spiraling into the air, but I think most turned to shrapnel shards that embedded themselves in the zombies that surrounded it.

Doctor Carraway looked angry; my guess is that the blades sticking out of the side of the machine were supposed to keep it from tipping onto its side as much as they were to take out the zeds' legs.

“Well that's no good,” I heard Doctor Byron say to a security officer near her, “Have them wrap it up, I think we got what we needed today.”

The security officer spoke into the radio mic clipped to his shoulder, and I could see the officer's below listening, and the relaying the information to the scientists. Doctors Carraway and Hutchins moved quickly back to the truck.

Doctor Carraway opened the driver's side door for a second, and then went back to join Doctor Hutchins at the back of the truck. The two of them pulled out the ramp while Doctor Vang had his chariot carve a path back out of the zeds, whose front line was now only fifty yards away.

A couple more zeds broke from the pack, coming towards Doctor Vang, but they were dispatched by the security officers before getting more than a few steps from their mob. Their corpses fell to the ground, and were quickly swallowed u by the advancing mass of ghouls.

As the scythe chariot rolled towards the back of the truck its blades started to slow, coming to a complete stop before actually got anywhere near any of the scientists. It had survived its first real test, and if two could do this how much damage could a bunch of these do?

The scientists loaded the surviving scythe chariot into the back of the truck. Other than its shape, the used robot looked nothing like the gleaming metal monster that had gone into the zombies, but was now a dark blackish red as every single inch of it was coated in zombie gore.

Doctor Vang did not ride in the back of the truck as they made their retreat, and who can blame him? I've smelled more than my share of dead zeds, and I can easily imagine how that machine must have smelled. Instead he rode in the security car that Kyle was riding in.

As they three vehicle drove back up the hill towards us, a voice called my name; it was Doctor Byron. “Yes, Doctor?” I answered.

“So what do you think, do we have a chance?”

I never really know how to talk to her. I feel like she's trying to trick me into something. I guess it's just that she radiates such intelligence that it make me feel stupid... or maybe it's just because she's an albino and I'm prejudiced. I would prefer it be the former though,

“There's always a chance, ma'am.”

“That's not much of an answer,” Doctor Byron commented, and I saw something in her eyes I had not seen before; fear. “You are scared though, right?”

“I would have to be an idiot to not be,”

“You're right,” she agreed, “I'm scared too, but we will win. I have been planning for something like this since the day I took over, and starting day after tomorrow we will take the fight to them, and we will not stop until the last one falls.

Since I had been thinking about Sharon, and the bit of her that seemed to be left behind when she rose I decided to take the opportunity to ask Doctor Byron something, “Doctor, can I ask you a question about the zeds?”

“The only way to learn is to ask, you are always welcome to question me.”

“Do you think there's anything left of someone when they change into a zed? A part of their soul that remains behind?”

“I am not the right person to be asking about the soul.”

“Alright, personality then. Is there something left behind of the person they were when they were alive? That girl in Doctor Grimm's lab-”

“Harriet Nivens,” Doctor Byron interjected.

“She looked like she was trying to speak to us, and I've seen... other zeds look like there was... I don't know, intelligence in them still?”

“Wow, you do not ask easy questions, do you?” Doctor Byron seemed legitimately surprised, “Come with me.”

Doctor Byron led us away from the crowd gawking at the horde of zeds slowly starting up the road towards us. When we were away from the bulk of the crowd she spoke again, “That has been a subject of debate since the beginning. I personally don't think the animated corpses possess anything that we would consider higher intelligence, but they do seem to retain some muscle memory which is why they can wield crude weapons and why some seem to know how to fire a gun.”

“Some do believe that there is a remainder of the living person in there. Not a soul necessarily, but a still active part of the brain; the part of the brain that makes you you.”

“What about Harriet? What did you do with her?”

Doctor Byron looked at the ground as if she were ashamed to look me in the eyes, “I don't really want to talk about that,” she said slowly.

“I'm sorry, I'll just go back to the car.”

Evelyn looked up at me, “No, I do not wish to keep things from you without good reason, and with what is coming I see no reason to lie about this. Harriet Nivens is being kept in the underground labs. I understand that the humane thing to do would be to simply destroy her, but Xavier was on to something, and she is too valuable....”

“I think I understand,” I said.

“There are times when this job forces me to do things I find... distasteful. If you think less of me for this I understand, I think less of me for this, but it truly is for the betterment of all.”

I looked into her oddly colored eyes and shrugged, “I know.”

“I sometimes worry I am becoming like Xavier. He wasn't a bad man, you know? He changed, and I worry that I too am changing.”

“You're not like him.”

“No offense to you, but you did not know him; not like I did. You only knew what he became, knew what he was at his worst. The monster that rose from the depths of his mind lays dormant in us all, but that I think you do know.”

Doctor Byron brightened suddenly, “Hmm, maybe you're not the only one that could do with a little counseling, huh? Enough of that; we have a war to win. Lets get everyone back to town.”

“Yes, Doctor,” I said,

“Oh, and I heard about you and Miss Lafferty; I am terribly sorry to hear about that."

Damn it, Beth!

Coat of Arms

2010-04-08T08:05:00.000-07:00

A little bit of extra content for you. This is the coat of arms for the Mallville Commerce Community. This logo appears on the badges of all Mallville Security officers as well as other Mallville promotional materials.

Fifty-Third Entry: You're a Foul One, Mr. Grimm

2010-04-06T04:39:00.000-07:00

July 31st

We had a close call today, but thankfully Oliver is going to be okay, according to the doctors. It was far too close, but it did show me that at least some of the old Tara is still in there; the Tara that used to scare me a little.

For the most part things have been going pretty well here. Barbara and Beth have become inseparable, and a I feel a bit bad about that for Gerry since he was friends with Barbara first. I expect any day for Beth to suggest Barbara move in with us.

We need to get another laptop; when Tara found out that Lovelock had a Seventh City Online server she practically threatened me with bodily harm if I did not let her play. I let her, of course, but Pippa was hardly impressed,

Tara tried to create as Sith-like a hero as possible, naturally. Night_Tara ended up dressed in a black hooded cloak, and wielding a very lightsaber-ish electric sword. She had glowing red eyes and sharp teeth.

“So that's your idea of what a hero looks like, eh?” I asked her as her character flipped and fought her way through the tutorial section.

“Hey, I saw Captain Noir,” Tara replied, “and he was hardly wearing red and blue tights and a cape.”

Pippa must have seen that my account was online, because Super_Pippa quickly met up with Night_Tara. “What is this,” Super_Pippa asked, “You rolled new character?”

“Hello, Pippa.” Tara said into the mic.

“You?” Pippa asked, surprised, “What are you doing on here?”

“I let her use my computer,” I said into the mic.

“Pfft! Whatever, Super_Pippa said, “Have fun soloing,” and with that, she leaped from the street to the top of a building, and ran away.

“I told you she doesn't like me,” Tara said, a little coldly.

I kissed the top of Tara's head, “I'll go talk to her.”

I found Pippa in her room, and knocked, “Can I come in?”

“No.”

I let myself in anyway, “So what is your problem with Tara? Why are you being mean to her?”

“I don't like her,” Pippa said from where she sat on the bed with the computer in her lap. She didn't even look up from the screen as she spoke to me.

“You haven't given her a real chance yet.”

“She's a bitch.”

“If you would be nicer to her she wouldn't be. She just has a kind of severe defense mechanism.”

“Sharon was never a bitch to me,” Pippa protested, pulling her gaming headset off, “I miss Sharon.”

I sighed, “I miss Sharon too, ever moment of every day.”

“Then why are you with this?” Pippa turned her laptop to show me the picture of Tara naked from Bishop's DSi.

“How did you get that?” I asked.

“Bishop let me copy them off of his memory card,” Pippa smirked, “I think he likes me.”

I just shook my head in response.

“So why do you want to be with this?” Pippa pointed at the screen, “look at her! She's ugly. You can see her ribs.”

It's true that that is not the most flattering picure of Tara, but to call her ugly... “I happen to find Tara very attractive,” I said calmly.

“I didn't know you were into corpses. You should have just let Sharon-”

“Phillipa Webster, don't you finish that fucking sentence!” I hissed.

Pippa looked at me as if I had slapped her across the face, “But she's cheating on you!” Pippa clicked a couple of times with the mouse she had plugged into one of the laptop's USB slots and brought up the picture of Tara and Oliver with their arms around each other, smiling for Bishop's camera.

“I've already seen these pictures, and she's not cheating on me anymore than I was cheating on her with Sharon. She didn't have any reason to believe she would see me again, “ I was trying really hard to not lose my temper.

“But why her?”

“Because we go well together, or we did; we have to see if we really still do or not,” I explained, “Do you not want me to be happy?”

Another shocked look on her face, and then it turned to tears. I sometimes forget how young Pippa is. I don't think of her as only being a teenager, I think of her as a peer, and I need to remind myself sometimes that she is barely out of childhood (and that statement proves that I am getting old before my time).

“I don't want you to leave us!” Pippa sobbed.

“Who said I was leaving you?”

“You're gonna leave us to live with her. I don't want to lose you too!”

“Pippa, I'm not going to leave you. If, and this is just an if right now, if Tara and I decide to live together again, we'll work something out. Even if I were to move out I would still be around; I wouldn't leave town.”

Pippa slid the laptop off of her legs and onto the bed, and then jumped up and ran to me, “You won't need us anymore if you have her,” she said as she looked up at me through watery eyes.

“I need you all. I know you've read my journal; did I stop being a part of Sharon's life when I moved in with Tara?”

“Yes.”

“No!” I corrected her, “Even when we were fighting, we were still a part of each other's life. I love you, and Beth, and Gerry. You guys are my family, and I will always be in your lives.”

Pippa sniffled, “You promise?”

“Yes, Pippa, but I need you to be nice to her, okay? Even if you don't like her, please do it for me.”

“Oh-okay, but what if she is still sleeping with that Ollie guy?”

I swallowed, “Then it is something that we will deal with when we have to. “

“I don't trust her.”

“You don't have to. You just need to trust me.”

“She'll hurt you.”

“Women always do eventually,” I said in a tone meant to sound humorous

Pippa looked down at the clothing covered floor, “I'm sorry.”

“I wasn't referring to you, but it's natural for people to hurt each other, even if they don't mean to. I'm sorry for anything I've done that's hurt you.”

Pippa hugged me after that, and we talked for a while longer until she felt better. She told me that Bishop has been over a few times in the days since they arrived in Lovelock. It sounds like he's getting a crush on her.

With that fire put out, things settled down in our household again. Pippa stopped acting like an ass around Tara, and Tara started warming up, albeit cautiously, to Pippa. I don't know if Pippa will ever look at Tara the same way she looked at Sharon, but she is making an effort, and I can't really ask for anything more than that.

Of course the real excitement, and near tragedy, was yesterday. I didn't have to work at all yesterday, and was planning on spending the day with Tara, maybe walk around town, or just spend time at the park. Even though she walks with a bit of a limp still, she says that it doesn't hurt her. You know what they say about the plans or mice and men though, right?

I was again home alone; Gerry is still out on a run to the west of town, and Pippa, Beth, and Barbara had gone to the movie theater where they are playing the third (and as it turned out, last) of the Twilight movies. When the doorbell rang at around eleven, I opened the door without looking first expecting it to be Tara. It wasn't Tara.

I opened the door to find Oliver Gusteneaux towering over me. Before I could speak he lunged forward and grabbed me by the front of the shirt and shoved me back inside. He neglected to close the door behind him, not that that would have stopped what happened anyway.

Where Toni, Bishop, and Tara may all look a little on the emaciated side, Oliver looks like he hasn't missed a meal. The man is not exactly a bodybuilder, but compared to him I still look fat and feeble, and I look better than I ever have (that's not ego, it just doesn't take much to look better than I used to).

“You and I need to talk,” Oliver said, menace dominating his tone.

“I have better conversations when I'm not being throttled,” I said. If it seems like more bravado than you would expect from me, you have to realize one thing; I already knew what this talk was going to be about, and he did not know that I knew.

Oliver released me with a shove. I slid back a couple of steps on the tile floor on my sock feet, but managed to keep my balance.

“So you're the guy Tara's been pining over? Seriously?” Oliver said incredulously.

I decided to bluff, “Listen, I don't know you, and you don't know me, but I think it's only fair to warn you that I've been stomping zeds for a year now. Keep that in mind if you're looking for a fight.”

I do believe I failed my charisma check.

“Oh, I know who you are,” Oliver said with a humorless laugh, “You hung out with that Sigler psycho! You're part of why I've been watching people die for the last eight months because you had to start a fucking revolution.”

“You should know that while Tara was with me, it was that psycho Sigler she was pining for, so you might not want to talk shit about him in front of her.”

“I know that too. She talks in her sleep, did you know that? She says your name, and his name a lot. She cries in her sleep thinking of you, but it's me she wakes up to.”

“Woke up to,” I corrected him, still pressing my luck.

“What?”

“Past tense; woke up to. She hasn't said a thing about you to me, so I take that to means that you and her are over,” I snarked. I really don't know what got in to me there. Oliver is the kind of guy I would go out of my way to avoid back in school, but here I was antagonizing him.

It worked too.

“You little fuck!” Oliver growled, and punched me.

I may be able to talk crap with the best of them, but I cannot back that up with the ability to fight a living person unarmed. I went down on the floor hard; the taste of blood filling my mouth. I did a quick inventory of teeth with my tongue while I was down there, and found they all seemed like they were still in place.

“You don't deserve her. You left her to die in that hellhole you helped to create. I was the one that was there for her all this time. I'm the one that helped keep her alive, not you, but we come to this place because Toni thinks that there might still be some place to come to, and low and behold; you're already here, safe and sound!”

Still sitting on the floor, I rubbed my jaw as I spoke, “We didn't exactly teleport here, you know? I spent my fair share of time out on the road too.”

“She's mine!”

“I think that's her decision,” I said,

“Not if I kick the shit out of you until you agree to leave her alone,” he threatened.

“Yeah, 'cause she's so stupid that's she'll never piece together why I'm in traction, and telling her to go back to you.”

“That's it, shithead, I'm going to beat you until your ancestors feel it!”

Before I could say anything witty, someone beat me to it, “You'll do no such thing,” a dark voice oozed. A metallic click served as a period on the sentence.

Oliver turned to face the voice, and as he did, he cleared the path so that I could see as well. Standing behind Oliver, just inside the open door was a man in a Genetitech Security uniform, but he was no security officer. I recognized his bearded face from the news; it was Doctor Xavier Grimm.

Oliver moved like he was going to charge Grimm, “Uh uh uh, slicky boy. Take a step back there,” he motioned with the rifle in his hands, an FN F2000.

Doing as he was told, Oliver asked, “Who the fuck are you?”

Grimm looked back and forth between me and Oliver, “Why don't you ask your friend there; I'm pretty sure he knows who I am.”

Oliver looked at me where I still sat on the floor questioningly, “That's Doctor Xavier Grimm. The scientist Doctor Byron warned us about; the one who used to run Lovelock, wanted to experiment on survivors like us-”

“Oh good, my reputation does precede me,” Grimm said darkly.

“-and the man who most recently caused the deaths of five people escaping from the labs.”

“I wasn't going to stay trapped in that underground prison, not with what's coming. I'll be damned if I'm going to spend the rest of my life never seeing the sky again, but this is not the best place for that conversation.”

“So you're not going to shoot us?” I asked.

“I might, if it becomes necessary, but for now I need your assistance in an experiment. You can take a man out of the lab, but you can't take the lab out of the man, do you know what I mean?”

“Not really,” I said, still making no move to stand up, “You know, the whole town is looking for you?”

“Right, they are looking for me, not a security officer,” Grimm looked up thoughtfully, “I thought of shaving off the beard, but you know, I really like my beard.”

“He doesn't live alone, you know? Neither do I, people will come here looking for us,” Oliver said, sounding braver than he looked.

“And it's not like you can just march us through town at gunpoint without someone noticing,” I added.

“I can if there's something else for people to be paying attention to,” with that, Doctor Grimm reached into his pants pocket with his left hand, and pulled out a cellphone. The phone looked like a normal phone, but it was a little chunkier and had a fat antenna. He pressed some buttons on the screen and there was a loud noise from nearby; something exploded loud and large.

“There,” said Grimm, “that should keep everyone entertained for awhile. Get up, and lets go.” He motioned to the door with the end of his rifle.

I got to my feet, and started out the door, Oliver followed me.

“Don't think of trying to run either,” Grimm warned, “Even a brainbox like me know how to us this, and I have nothing to lose. Make a right at the street.”

Once outside I could see the large column of smoke rising up from a couple of streets away. Sirens were already filling the air as the fire department and Genetitech Security responded to the blast.

I glanced back and saw that Doctor Grimm has lowered his gun, but was also trailing far enough behind us that if either of us tried to take him, we'd be shot for our troubles.

I spat some blood from where my teeth shredded the inside of my mouth when Oliver punched me onto the sidewalk. Grimm said nothing about it, I'm pretty sure he saw Oliver punch me. When I did it a second time, he took notice though.

“Stop that; it's disgusting,” Grimm said.

“It tastes gross,” I complained.

“I don't care. I will not have you spitting all over my town.”

So it was okay for him to blow things up and kill people, but spitting is too much?

Grimm was leading us to a house a couple of lots over. So this last two weeks that means I've been living closer to a mad scientist than to my own girlfriend. I must be cursed, absolutely cursed. What are the chances that, of all of the empty houses in Lovelock, how is it that we are assigned the one next to his evil secret hideout?

I found the door of the nondescript gray house to be unlocked.

“What are you waiting for? Go inside,” Grimm ordered.

I obeyed, and Oliver followed me. Once he was inside, Doctor Grimm closed the front door and locked it.

The inside of this house looked pretty much exact;y like ours did when we first arrived; it had a very sparse IKEA-y sort of feel to its furnishings. There was certainly nothing visible that looked like a science experiment, but I thought at the time that maybe that was in one of the bedrooms. It wasn't.

“Move into the kitchen please,“ Grimm asked, almost pleasantly, “And please try to stay away from the windows; this house is meant to be unoccupied, so if anyone saw you it could lead to a great deal of unpleasantness for us all.”

Yeah, because this hadn't been unpleasant yet.

Oliver and I went into the kitchen, and stood next to the stove while Grimm passed us, and went into the small laundry room. This room was different that the one in our house. Instead of a separate washer and dryer on each side of the small room there was a stacked washer/dryer combo to the right, and a door on the left.

Behind the door was what appeared to be a small closet, on the back wall of which were a row clips intended to hold mops, brooms, and other cleaning implements. One of these was actually a sort of door knob which, when twisted, allowed the back of the closet to swing inward and reveal a staircase leading down.

“After you, gentlemen,” Grimm waved with his rifle.

“You want us to go in the closet?” I asked, having not seen the secret door yet.

\ “You should feel right at home there,” Oliver said.

“Children, if you can't play nice I will have to discipline you,” there was an edge to Grimm's voice that had not been there moments before, “Now please, through the door.”

I was quite surprised to see the brightly lit staircase leading down into a secret basement which had clearly been built to be a laboratory. Oliver followed behind me, and as I reached the bottom of the stairs I heard Doctor Grimm securing the doors at the top of the stairs.

“Now I know what you are both thinking,“ Doctor Grimm said, “'Is there one of these in my house?' No, there isn't. When I was administrator I had this house built especially for myself; it's one of the many things that dear Evelyn does not know about.”

Looking around the basement I saw that it was one large brightly lit room with while floors and walls. The walls of the room were lined with black topped work counters. There were two similar worktable islands in the center of the room. These work table were dotted with a pair of laptops, microscopes, test tubes, petri dishes, and a whole lot of glassware and electronics that I could not identify.

The most eye catching thing in Grimm's secret lab was in one corner though. It was a box about the size of a prison cell made out of thick plastic. There was another worktable inside the box, as well as a number small items that I could not see, and an unmade hospital bed. All of those things took a backseat to the main occupant of the cell though. Pressing against the transparent walls of its cell was a thin blond female zombie. She was wearing denim shorts and a white tank top and looked to be about sixteen; in her hand was what appeared to be a nine millimeter Beretta.

Oliver beat me to the first verbal response, “What the fuck is that?”

“That is my last test subject. Her name was Harriet if you must know, which is a horrible name to give to such a pretty young lady.”

I was shocked, almost speechless, “You did this to her? On purpose?”

“Did I infect her? Yes; I needed to test my latest batch. You see, I am getting very close to creating a cure for the infection; the 'Zed Virus' as you probably know it.”

“But she's a child,” Oliver said in shock.

“Which is part of what made her a good subject. Normally a straight injection of infected blood turns a person in twenty to thirty hours, as opposed to incidental infection which can take over a week depending of the severity of the initial infection, but with my latest vaccine I was able to keep her from turning for almost a full week. I know that I'm probably talking over your heads, but trust me, it is amazing.”

“You're a monster!” Oliver gasped.

“People said the same thing about German scientists in the forties, but it was their 'unethical' research that has led us to a lot of the technology we have today.”

“The Nazis were monsters,” I blurted out, “If you think comparing yourself to them is some sort of defense-”

“I am not defending myself!” Grimm roared, pointing the rifle at me, “I do not need to defend myself to people who simply are too selfish to sacrifice for the greater good of all. Don't you understand what coming up with a cure for this would mean? I will be humanity's savior, and if that means a few people have to die in the name of saving the world, then so be it. Those brave souls will be remembered for the sacrifice they made for humankind.”

“You're mad,” Oliver commented.

“Genius and insanity are very closely related. Did you know that Albert Einstein has Asperger's Syndrome? “

“So you admit that you're mentally ill?” Oliver said in a voice that said he felt he had just won some sort of argument.

Doctor Grimm shifted the barrel away from me and towards Oliver, “Keep pushing me, slicky boy, and see what happens! That boy you have would make an interesting test subject,“ and then to me, “or maybe the girl at your house? She's about young Henrietta's age, isn't she?”

Rage boiled up inside me in a way that threatening my own life had totally failed to do, ”Beth would have your head if you tried it.”

“The raven haired woman? Yes, she is a fiery one. I've met her; she doesn't care for me,” Grim took a deep breath and sighed, “Not that it's going to matter soon anyway, the albino bitch is going to let this whole place be overrun; I'm just trying to make as much progress as I can until it is safe for me to leave.”

“What's that supposed to mean?” Oliver asked.

“That's right, your dear sweet Evelyn Byron has been trying to keep this a secret. In probably about a month this town is going to be destroyed by the undead,” Grimm nodded his head towards where Harriet was banging the handgun against the wall of her cell, we couldn't hear anything from where we were.

“Do you mean the group to the east?” I asked.

Grimm brightened, “Yes, I do . I am surprised you know about it, but did you also know that they are coming this way? Did you know that if they stay on the course they are on they will end up right on our doorstep?”

I didn't know that, but I said nothing.

“So what are we to do? Try and fit everyone into the labs? Decide who stays on the surface to die? Try and fight them with all those asinine weapons Byron has been having people build? Run away and abandon everything we have?”

“What would you do?” I asked, working on the principal that if he was talking then he wasn't feeding us to Harriet or shooting us.

“We need weapons, but not this energy ray fighting robot bullshit people are building. We have the materials to build a nuclear weapon. We could easily build a single weapon that would take out the vast majority of the monsters.”

“But the radiation, couldn't the fallout endanger us?”

“Not if we were to do it now, while they are still far enough away. In any case, isn't that risk better than the certainty of being overrun? “

“Sounds like we're fucked either way,” answered Oliver.

“I wouldn't expect you to understand it. The only contribution people like you can make to science is as test subjects,” Grimm motioned to a pair of heavy wooden chairs sitting to the side of Harriet's cell, “Tie the slicky boy up!” he ordered me.

The chairs made me think of the electric chair from The Green Mile, right down to the padded leather straps on the armrests and the front legs. Oliver and I reluctantly went over to the chairs.

“Sit down!” Doctor Grimm ordered Oliver, and raised the barrel of the rifle to Oliver's face when he didn't move quick enough.

I assume that Grimm felt I was less of a threat than Oliver (and who could blame him), and so he had me tie him up. I made a show of trying to secure Oliver tightly, but stuck my thumb under the strap when I pulled it tight. My hope was that Oliver would have enough room to slip his hands out. For his part, Oliver was clenching his fists as I tied him up, making his arm as thick as possible.

I tried to secure Oliver's legs as loosely as possible too, but short of leaving it undone entirely, there's not much I could do there. We had to hope that Grimm would leave us alone at some point before infecting us with anything.

Grimm had me strap down my own left arm, and then felt safe enough to put down the rifle to secure my right. I don't think I've ever felt more helpless than right then. Even facing off against bikers or zeds I had never actually been tied down before.

“Okay, let's start,” Grimm said, rubbing his hands together. He walked over to one of the island work tables, and picked up a small digital recorder with a pair of round spheres at the top of it.

Turning the recorder on, Grimm placed it back on the table, “It is July thirty-first, and I am Doctor Xavier Grimm. After the promising, but disappointing results with subject fourteen, I have acquired two new subjects. I am going to try batch sixteen-f on subject fifteen, and batch nineteen-g on subject sixteen.”

Grimm went on for quite awhile, describing us to his recorder, and guessing what the results would be. His hypotheses were not promising for us. I am guessing that he was picked on by the jocks in school, as his description of Oliver's physical condition was done in the disgusted tone a person might use when making a detailed description of a piece of shit.

Crossing the room, Grimm went to a large stainless steel refrigerator, and opened it. I couldn't see into the fridge, but I could hear glass and metal clanking around. Presumably he was getting our doses of death ready.

“You know, I think I am really close to finding a treatment for this. If that stupid bitch had let me continue my research the way I wanted to, I would have a cure by now,” Grimm ranted, “I've pinpointed it, you see? The Zed Virus isn't a virus at all, but a bacteria. The reason it was so hard to spot is that it is almost identical in appearance to Eosinophil, or white blood cells, and who would be surprised to see an increase of those in a person with a viral infection?”

I don't think I'm getting all of this right. Not only was he talking well over my education level, but I was actually tied to a chair at the time waiting for a mad scientist to inject me with a death sentence.

“It's immune to most antibiotics though. The only thing I've found that kills it is Phlebotinum, but for some reason it only kills it dead outside of the body,” Grimm was filling a hypodermic syringe as he spoke, “You might find this interesting. Did you know that an undead body continues to produce both blood and saliva, the two primary transfer vectors?”

Grimm waited for an answer, but didn't get one.“Of course you didn't,” he said, “And what's really amazing is that the body does seem to digest food, but it doesn't seem to do it for any reason. A damaged undead does not regenerate wounded tissue. Eating doesn't even seem to slow their decomposition rate, but they also do not starve to death, so it doesn't seem to matter one way or the other. Hell, you can seal them in an airtight box, like Harriet there, and they won't suffocate. I could leave her in there when I leave and she'd be just fine until her body decays too much to stay active.”

Oliver broke his silence, “So if we left the zeds alone long enough they would simply fall apart on their own?”

“In theory, yes, however each person that dies becomes a new one, so the only way to truly eliminate them would be to eliminate all humans. That is rather problematic,” Grimm explained, his back still to us, “It's a bit like killing cockroaches. They're pretty easy to kill, electricity, blunt force, dismemberment, pretty much anything that will destroy the brain or its connection to the body, but there are just so damn many of them, and no matter how many you kill it seems like there are more coming.”

Doctor Grimm closed the door to the refrigerator, and turned to face us, two syringes, one a dark crimson and the other full of something clear. “But if I can stop people from turning in the first place, that should at least turn things a bit more in our favor,” he started towards us, “You guys should wish me luck; if this works, not only do you survive, but you will be a part of history.”

“Wait!” I said, trying to stall him again, “What about people who haven't been bitten? People who haven't been infected? Why do they turn?” It seemed like a reasonable question.

Grimm stopped, “Oh, maybe you are smarter than you look. That's the next piece of the puzzle, isn't it? My theory is that there's some airborne component to this bacteria that we are all infected with, but it remains dormant while our normal biological processes remain active. “

Grimm stopped himself, “But enough of this, we have work to do here. This should only hurt for a m-”

One of the laptop computers on the work tables chimed, and Grimm turned back to look at it. He grinned at what he saw, put the syringes down on the table, and turned the laptop to face us. In a window on the screen I could see a woman standing at the front door; he had installed a surveillance camera above the door. It was Tara, and she was looking around her, and I could see her mouth moving, but there was no sound.

“It's your little gray haired friend!” Grimm announced with amusement, “I'd better go make sure she doesn't come in; I don't know where I would put a third test subject.

Grimm picked up his rifle, and walked over the the stairs, and then turned back to us, ”If I hear you make a sound, I will kill her, do you understand?”

We both nodded our understanding, and Grimm ascended the stairs.

Once we heard the door close at the top of the stairs I turned to Oliver, “Please tell me you can get your hands free,” I practically begged.

Oliver's face became a mask of effort and determination as he started jerking his right arm backwards, straining against the cuff. At first it looked like I had still fastened the strap too tightly, but then his hand started to slide through as he practically tried to dislocate his thumb by folding it into the palm of his hand. In a couple more seconds his hand was red and raw looking, but it was also free.

As Oliver quickly unfastened his other restraints, I spoke, “Thank God, lets get out of here.”

“No,” said Oliver as he rose from the chair, “He's got that gun, and if we just go running up there, he'll shoot us, and probably Tara too. I haven't spent the last 8 months keeping her alive just to have you get her killed.”

“You're going to leave me here?” I asked.

“Don't be a 'tard,” Oliver spat, “If I let you die, she'll never come back to me. She needs to just be reminded of what a loser you are. I'm going to undo your straps, but don't pull free from them. We're going to wait for him to come back down, and then I'll take care of that sick motherfucker.”

True to his word, Oliver undid my straps, but did his best to make them look like they were still fastened. By the time we heard the door at the top of the stairs open again, we both looked like we were still tethered to our chairs, although Oliver was having to pin the end of the restraint to the left arm of his chair with his wrist since he did not have a second hand to set it properly with.

Doctor Grimm's shoes clomped down the stairs, and we could see him lean the rifle against the wall next to the bottom of the stairs, “It's okay, she moved on. If it makes you feel any better, she was looking for you,” he said to me, “Kind of sad really, but one cannot let emotions get in the way of progress.”

“No, that's something only humans would do,” Oliver commented.

“That's enough of that,” Grimm spoke as if talking to a petulant child, “I don't expect you to understand, but what I am doing is for the good of all mankind.”

Doctor Grimm walked back over to the laptop, which now showed an empty front porch, he seemed puzzled at what he found, “Where is the other syringe?” he asked, and started looking down at the floor to see if it had rolled there.

“Did either of you see what I did with the other hypo? I thought I put it ri-” Grimm turned to face us, and found Oliver standing right in front of him, his right hand raised, ready to attack

“Fucker!” Oliver yelled, and stabbed down with the hypodermic needle of infected blood obscured in his large hand. The needle buried itself in the side of Doctor Grimm's throat.

Shock, surprise, terror, and understanding all battled for control of Xavier Grimm's face as he realized where the missing syringe was. His left hand lifted halfway to his neck as if he meant to pull the needle out, but froze there in midair, “You... you...” he gasped as the infection flowed through his blood.

Before Grimm could say anything else, Oliver spoke again, “I wouldn't expect you to understand it, but the only way people like you can help the world is by not being a part of it anymore,” and with that, he punched the doctor in the face.

Grimm fell over backwards onto the work table, sending the laptop, the other three syringes, and a nearby microscope crashing to the floor. With his stomach exposed, Oliver hit him again, causing him to double over and fall to the floor. Either Oliver hadn't hit me that hard, or Doctor Grimm was a wimp.

“Go!” Oliver yelled to me, and I didn't need to be told twice; I was already on my feet. I bolted for the stairs, grabbing Grimm's rifle as I went to keep him from coming after us with it.

Oliver was right behind me, our feet making a thunderous noise in the narrow passage up to the kitchen. I burst through the false back of the closet, and nearly ran into the washer/dryer opposite the closet in my rush to get out of there. I could hear Grimm cursing behind us; for someone who goes down so easy, he sure did recover fast.

My sock clad feet slid on the flooring of the kitchen, and I almost lost my balance before getting onto the carpet of the living room. Oliver and I crossed the living room quickly, but had to stop at the front door as I had apparently forgotten how to work a deadbolt. After a couple of seconds of struggling I did manage to get the door open, and we were outside, crossing the front yard.

Oliver started in the direction of his house while I started in mine, wanting to get to Tara before Grimm did if she was there.

There were three popping sounds, and Oliver yelled out. I turned in time to see him fall to the ground, clutching his lower right leg. My feet slid out from under me as I tried to change direction, and run to help Oliver, and I hit the sidewalk hard, knocking the rifle out of my hands. I looked and saw Grimm was standing on the house's front porch, and pointing a handgun at me.

Grimm stalked across the lawn towards me, the personification of rage, “Do you understand what you've done?” he yelled, “You've just destroyed humankind's only hope at finding a cure!”

“Maybe your vaccine will work, and you'll be saved,” Oliver grunted through gritted teeth. His blood was already spreading under him on the sidewalk.

“Shut the fuck up!” Grimm yelled, and fired a shot in Oliver's direction. The bullet missed Oliver, and made a small gouge in the sidewalk instead.

Grimm pointed his handgun, I could see now that it was a Glock, at me again, “You could have gone down in the history books as one of the saviors of mankind, but no! You're too selfish to give of yourself to help others! You're blind, just like Byron; you can't see what needs to be done beyond what you deem as humane and proper! You-”

There was a loud bang. I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for the pain. Instead of feeling bullets tear through my body, I heard someone working the pump on a shotgun or rifle, and something thud to the ground in front of me. I opened my eyes to find Grimm laying half on the sidewalk, half on his house's lawn. The front of his black Genetitech Security uniform had the shimmer of wetness spreading across his stomach. The gun had fallen out of his hand, and was lying near him on the grass.

Grimm put his right hand to the center of the wetspot on his chest. It came away covered in his won blood; he looked at it in disbelief, “Wha-... what?” He looked over at me, and then up, over and behind me.

I turned my head and upper body, I was still sitting on the ground after all, to look behind me and see Tara starting there holding a black Remington 7600, she was still aiming it at Doctor Grimm.

Grimm seemed to gather his wits, and gasped weakly, “Do you know what you've just done? I... I was so close to solving it, and now you've damned us all. No one else has the... the guts to do what needed to be done. Who will finish my res-”

Bang!

Tara fired the rifle again, this time hitting Grimm above the left eye, and spraying his twisted, but apparently brilliant, mind all over the lawn. She pumped the rifle again to eject the spent cartridge, and came over to me. Her blue eyes were as cold as ice, and seemed to almost be glowing.

“Are you okay?” Tara asked me, her face like a cold stone mask.

“Yeah, but I think Oliver's shot.” I said.

A look of panic broke the emotionless shell of Tara face, and she looked over at where he was laying a few yards away, “Oh my God, Oliver!” she exclaimed, and rant to him.

This left me to pick myself up off of the ground, and then I joined Tara. Oliver was bleeding a lot, and he needed help soon or he would probably lose his leg, or die, or something.

I went over to Grimm's body, and started checking his pockets for the cell phone I had seen him use, thinking maybe it would still work for making phone calls as well as detonating bombs. It wasn't there, he must have taken it out in the house somewhere when I wasn't looking.

I left Tara with Oliver, telling her I'd be right back, and went into the house. I went down into the laboratory where just minutes before I had looked death in the face., and started looking for the phone.

I was distracted by movement, it was Harriet inside her cell. Her mouth was working like she was talking, but I couldn't hear anything. I wonder now if perhaps Grimm's concoction had made her into something other than a normal zed, but even if I had thought of that then I wouldn't have let her out of that box for two reasons. First of all, I had no idea how to open the door. Secondly, she then pointed the Beretta she was still holding in my general direction, and started pulling the trigger.

I found the phone on the floor by the refrigerator after a couple of minutes. I don't know how it could have gotten over there, but it did. Luckily the phone is as sturdy as it looked, and seemed to be in full working condition. I dialed 911, and hit send.

“Hello?” said a puzzled sounding voice from the other end after one ring.

“I have an emergency, do you still handle that?' I asked, probably sounding as uncertain as she had sounded puzzled.

“Umm, yes. Who are you, and how did you get that phone?”

I guess the phone must have showed as being Doctor Grimm's. I can only assume that he somehow made it so that the location of the phone could not be tracked since his just having it on should have made him easy for Genetitech Security to find. I explained who I was, and what had happened. They woman on the other end, who seemed to get over her initial confusion rather quickly, said that help would be sent.

Two security cars arrived first. They had probably come from the fire a couple of blocks away, which, judging by the dispersing smoke cloud, was probably out, or almost out by now. Beth and Justin Lassit were in the second of the cars, an officer Beth referred to as Kyle and man with a shaved head got out of the first car.

While Justin and Kyle used my belt to make a tourniquet for Oliver's leg (why hadn't we thought of that?), Beth made sure that Tara and I were okay. I explained to her briefly what had happened, leaving out the part about Oliver hitting me, and basically telling me that he had been sleeping with Tara. It wasn't the last time I would tell the story tonight, but no one I had to tell it to ever questioned Oliver's presence.

An ambulance arrived minutes later, and shortly after that a small black car pulled up, and Doctor Byron got out. I had to explain to her what had happened, and she got on a phone identical to the one that Grimm had used to request what she had called a “recovery team”. We were gone before that arrived though.

Tara and I rode to the hospital with Beth and Justin; we followed the ambulance there. We were there for most of the evening while Oliver was treated by a doctor named Camilla Swirsky, who said that Oliver should survive, but that he may need a cane to walk. He probably has a good amount of physical therapy in his future.

While Oliver was being treated, Tara and I were being interviewed about the events of the afternoon. It wasn't exactly an interrogation, but it was not exactly friendly either. I'm not taking it personally, I mean this guy was someone the whole town was looking for and he just happened to show up on my block.

Doctor Byron showed up during our interview, and wanted to know why Tara had killed Grimm. I wouldn't describe her as angry so much as sad. Maybe she didn't know what he thought of her, or maybe she just really is that good of a person, but she really seemed like she was upset about his death. Maybe she just really respected him as a scientist?

Tara, in her most businesslike tone, a tone she used off and on all night long, explained once again that Grimm was armed, and she killed him in my defense. No one questioned that as he had shot Oliver, and there was a gun found near his body (suspiciously nearer to his hand than it had been when I went looking for the phone, but I wasn't gong to say anything about that)

Doctor Byron answered her share of questions too. She admitted that she knew what Grimm was working on, and had impeded his progress because she found his methods unethical, “However with him gone, it will be harder to even get back to the point he was at. We have all of his data, but his note-taking methods were, lets say unique. We've been waiting to have someone infected for him to work with, but we've been lucky in that we have not had many cases of infection.”

“He mentioned something about white blood cells, Eosiniphils? Can you test for that?' I asked.

“Oh yes. Xavier will go down in the history books for that, and I cannot begin to tell you how important that would be to him. Without his figuring out that the reanimation virus is actually a bacteria, and that Phlebotinum is the only antibiotic it is vulnerable to we may never have found any treatment,” Doctor Byron explained.

“But the man was a murderer,” I protested.

“His methodology was wrong, but he was still a genius, and losing him is a tremendous setback,” Doctor Byron thought for a moment, “I'm sorry, you probably think I wish he had infected you and Oliver in order to find a treatment. I am truly glad you are okay, and what he did to that young woman... he would have had to pay for that somehow. It is a bad situation all around, and there was no way it could have ended well. You did the right thing, Tara.”

“Thank you, Evelyn.”

“What about the zombies?” I asked, “Doctor Grimm said that there were a large number of them coming for us? Is it true? Is this the same group that Acquisitions ran into?”

“Your friend Gerry is in Acquisitions, isn't he?”

“Yes, ma'am.”

Doctor Byron nodded, ”It is true, but we are working on ways of dealing with them. I have not made a formal announcement because I do not want people to panic unduly. I would appreciate it if you both would keep this to yourselves, and trust me that I am working on it.”

“Can we be kept informed?” Tara asked.

“If you would like. I know that you both have had a lot of experience dealing with the animated dead, so perhaps involving you both could be of benefit to us all. I will think on it, and let you know what I decide,” Doctor Byron said thoughtfully, “In any case I am going to have to address it publicly before too much longer.”

Doctor Byron eventually arranged for us to get a ride home. A security officer I did not recognize dropped us off in front of Tara's house. I walked her up to the door.

“We're even now,” Tara said, her voice soft.

“What do you mean?” I asked,

“We're even. You saved my life from Merritt, and now I've saved you from Grimm.”

I was puzzled, “Is that why you're with me then? You feel you owe me?”

“No,” she answered quickly, “I'm with you because I love you.”

We stood in silence for a few moments. I wanted to ask her about what was going on between her and Oliver. I wanted to ask her if loved him more. I wanted to ask her to make a choice. I wanted to know the truth, but I decided that I need to give her the time to feel comfortable discussing all of that with me. She will talk to me when she is ready, so I just asked, “Did you want to come stay with me tonight?”

Tara thought about it for a second, “No, I don't think so. I want to let Toni and Bishop know that Ollie's going to be okay, and I don't want to leave them alone tonight, Maybe tomorrow night though, okay?”

“Sure,” I said, trying not to let the hurt I was feeling creep into my voice or onto my face, “You get some rest then.”

“You too,” Tara stroked my cheek, and gave me a gentle kiss, “I'm glad you're okay; I couldn't bear losing you again. I love you.”

“I love you too,” I replied, and started the walk home (thankfully in shoes now).

Tara stayed on the porch watching me as I walked. She waved to me as I got to the door of my house. I was glad that I thought ton grab my keys when I came back for my shoes before going to the hospital, or else I would have had to knock.

I waved back to Tara, and slowly let myself in. I wish she had come home with me. It's not that I wanted to have sex or anything, it's just I feel a little uneasy being alone now. Beth and Pippa are both asleep, and I could use the company of something other than my own words on paper.

At the rate I am going, I'm probably going to finish filling up this book before too much longer. I'd have filled it long ago if it weren't for the fact that I write so small. I'll need to find a new journal soon... maybe one of those nice moleskin ones.

I'm going to try sleeping again now, but every time I close my eyes I see Grimm holding those needles. I see myself tied to that chair, and I think of how close to dying I was, and I am afraid.

Mallville Special - The Lost Entry

2010-04-01T04:31:00.000-07:00

The following entry was found by survivors. It had been wadded into a thick ball and tossed into the corner of a room in an abandoned building.

April 1

With spring on the way the snow has started to melt, and the roads have become a lot more passable than they have been for months, as a result we have started going into town and looking around more. We always leave someone at the house to keep an eye on the things and keep the fire from going out. This last trip it was Pippa who stayed behind.

It was a bright, but still cold morning as We piled into the black Excursion for our trip into town. Gerry drove with Maria in front while Sharon, Beth, and myself squeezed into the backseat with Sharon in the middle. We could have put the third row of seats up, but we wanted to leave room for anything useful we could find.

We weren't really looking for anything in particular on these outings; they're basically to try and cure the cabin fever we've all been battling after being shut up in this cabin for the last couple of months. This didn't mean we were going pass up any opportunities though.

“Okay,” started Maria as she held up a map so that those of us in the backseat could see it, It was marked with a lot of red circles and x's, “We've done most of the actual town already, so we are going to look around the area north of Daisy Lake. We don't expect to find much there but it's worth a look.”

The trip was slow, but we started out early so we would have plenty of time to hopefully make it back by nightfall. The roads are now pretty clear of slow, like it melted first. Gerry still drives cautiously though; always looking out for washouts or big potholes that have formed over the winter (of perhaps were there before, I don't know)

“Hey,” said Beth suddenly from behind Gerry, “Are those lights on over there?”

Gerry stopped the car, and we all leaned over as best we could to look out the window, probably crushing poor Beth against the side of the car in the process. Across a open field we could see a large boxy white building that looked like a very large warehouse.

“Yeah, those are lights,” Sharon exclaimed, point to a row of squarish spotlights running along the side of the building near its roof line. From where we were they looked small, but they were clearly on.

It has been three months since we have seen electricity on anywhere, so naturally we wanted to investigate. After all, if there's a generator being maintained, then someone must be maintaining it, right?

We followed the fence surrounding the field around to an access road that lead of to a large gatehouse. A large sign on the roof of the gatehouse read “Klep Scientific Technology Advancement Center” and then below that in smaller letters “A member of the Futuretech family”. The wooden arm of the gate ended a foot from the pivot point in a round splintery edge, “Well we're not the first visitors they've had,” said Gerry, stopping by the broken arm.

“Maybe we should stay out then,” Sharon said, fear sneaking into her voice, “They might not want any more visitors.”

“She's got a good point. Whoever is in there has probably got a far larger armory gathered up than what we have with us,” added Gerry.

“If they fuck with us, we'll fuck with them back,” Maria said, holding up her Glock.

“I think we should at least check it out. If we don't act hostile then maybe we can avoid provoking them,” Beth said, directing the last part at Maria.

Gerry drove us through the broken gate and down the long road to the large white building. The road we were on looked like it was only a step above a dirt road, but it was probably the smoothest road I've ridden on in the last year. The road ended in a large parking lot, and we were surprised to find it mostly full of cars.

“How many people are in there, do you think?” Sharon asked.

“Looks like about a hundred or so cars out here,” Maria answered.

“Could there be that many people inside there?” I asked, “I mean wouldn't we have seen some sign of that many survivors in town by now?”

“I would think they would have scavenged the town for supplies, but maybe there were already anough emergency supplies in there, “said Beth.

“I could see that,” added Gerry, “I mean big science-y places like this always have end-of-the-world disaster plans, right?”

“Or maybe they're cannibals and they have just been eating each other,” said Maria dryly. I felt Sharon tense next to me at that; she squeezed my hand hard.

Gerry circled the rows of parked cars a couple of times before Maria finally asked, “What are you doing?”

“I'm looking for a good spot.”

“Just park the damned car, Gerry!” Maria snapped at him.

After parking in the next open space we all got out, grabbed our rifles from the back, and slowly started towards the glass double doors that had a sign over them that was identical to the one at the gate house proclaiming this to be the Klep Scientific Technology Advancement Center.

Under the sign but over the top if the door itself was a shiny silver dome that obviously hid a video camera. I noticed similar domes up near the roof. If someone was in there they almost certainly knew we were there. This was confirmed for me a moment later when a voice spoke.

“Hello, welcome to the Klep Scientific Technology Advancement Center,” said a woman's voice that sounded at the same time friendly and unsettling. I'm not quite sure how to describe why it was unsettling from the start; it just felt off somehow, as if it weren't quite natural.

“Hello?” asked Beth, looking around.

“Hello,” the woman's voice repeated, “Please step inside out of the cold.”

The glass doors slid open a short distance ahead of us.

“I don't like this,” said Sharon.

“She sounds alright to me,” Gerry said.

“It could be a trap,” Maria cautioned, “but then we're ready for that,” she held up her rifle

“We're here now, if they want to shoot at us they can do it just as easily if we go back to the car as they can if we go inside,” I said, I'm not sure if I was trying to make Sharon feel any safer, but I don't think I did.

Beth sighed, “I agree, lets just go in and see what happens.”

After the cold of the parking lot the blast of warmth that hit us as we entered the lobby of Klep was kind of shocking. The large room was blindingly white and immaculately clean. In the center of the room was a large semi-circular reception desk that sat empty, but looked as if the receptionist might be back at any moment.

A series of red lights seemingly implanted in the floor were blinking in a line leading around the right side of the desk and through an open door. We all traded glances before approaching the desk.

“Please follow the lights to a waiting area where someone will be with you shortly,” said the woman's voice.

Sharon gripped my arm tightly, “We should go,” she whispered to me.

I agreed with her, but I don't think we could have left at that point even if we had tried, “We'll be fine, we just need to stay together,” I whispered to her.

We followed the small flashing lights around and through the doors into a room that looked a lot like a waiting room from a doctor's office, only that the chairs in there were plush leather chairs (white, like everything else) and there was a tray with five white steaming mugs on it. On the side of the mugs was what looked like an artistic interpretation of the mechanism inside a camera lens over the words “Klep Scientific”.

I noticed in each corner of the also blindingly white room were white spheres with camera lenses in them. There was also a large dome I the ceiling of the room, but I had no idea what that was for yet.

“Please help yourself to a hot cup of cocoa,” said the slightly odd woman's voice, “Take off your coats and relax, someone will be with you shortly. You can put your weapons down, you will not be needing them while you are here.”

“I'll just hang onto mine, thanks,” Maria said.

“As you wish.” said the voice.

Gerry went over to the nurse's counter and picked up one of the mugs, and sniffed it, “Well it smells like chocolate.”

“Do you think it's safe to drink?” Sharon asked.

“Sure,” said Maria, “Why bother to poison us when they could just shoot us?” She went over to Gerry and grabbed a cup off of the white tray they were sitting on, causing some to slosh over the side and drip on the white carpeting on the floor.

Maria took a drink of the cocoa, and gasped.

“What's wrong!” Sharon asked loudly.

“It's hot!” Maria said, and smiled, “It's good though.”

We all drank some of the cocoa, and sat in the comfy chairs. I don't know if it was something in the cocoa, or something pumped into the air. But we all started falling to sleep. I realized something was wrong when Sharon's almost empty mug thudded to the carpet. I tried to get up to help her, but I felt like my body was full of lead weights; my eye lids were too heavy to lift never mind my arms and legs. I drifted off to sleep before I could even get a full panic going.

When I woke up my head hurt, and I was very warm. I was laying down in a bed, but it felt like I was still fully dressed. I wasn't sure how much time had passed. Minutes? Hours? Days? I was being shaken, and Sharon was saying my name over and over.

I opened my eyes and then shut them again with a groan. The room was way too bright, and it made my head ache even worse. I put my right hand on Sharon's where she was shaking my left shoulder to stop her.

“You're awake!” she said.

I opened my eyes again, more cautiously this time, but I still had to blink a few times while my eyes adjusted to the room. We looked to be in some sort of hospital ward, and I was lying in a hospital bed with the back slightly raised. Across from me I could see Maria lying on an identical bed with Gerry standing next to her, rubbing his head with his hands.

“How long was I asleep?” I asked Sharon.

“A couple of hours,” said an unfamiliar voice, “At least that's how long it's been since it brought you in here.”

I looked over and saw Beth standing with four people I did not recognize.

“It?” I asked?

“Yeah,” said an older man with long grey hair pulled back into a ponytail. He was wearing a green military shirt with patches sown on it, “I refuse to call it a she.”

“She?” asked Gerry.

“He means me,” said the woman's voice we heard earlier.

“Who are you?” Sharon asked, looking around the room.

I looked around too, and saw more of those security camera spheres, and four of those weird looking domes that I had seen on the ceiling of the waiting room. The purposes of the cameras seemed obvious, but I still had no idea what the domes were for.

Aside from the five of us and the old soldier there were three other people in the room; an African American man in a white shirt, a young girl around Pippa's age wearing a red hooded sweatshirt, and a bald man in biker's leathers. None of them looked terribly happy.

“I am the Klep Artificial Intelligence Operating System,” said the voice, “You may call me KAI-OS. I run all aspects of this facility at the direction of the facility administrator.”

“Chaos?” Gerry asked.

“That is close enough,” KAI-OS replied.

“What are we doing here?” Sharon asked.

“You are to be part of an experiment. I am afraid recent developments have set our research schedules way behind, and test subjects are needed.”

“Fuck you!” yelled the shaved headed man. I could see from across the room that he had tattoos running up and down his arms, but I could not make out what they were yet, “I'm not not gonna be a part of your goddamned experiments! I hate science.”

“Oh God,” groaned Maria from her bed, “Who's yelling, and how many times do I have to hit them to make them stop?”

“Why don't you fuckin' try it you dirty” and the biker used an offensive word to describe Hispanics that I'm not going to repeat here.

Maria sat up suddenly, and then grabbed her head, wincing in pain, “Give me a few minutes and I will” she growled.

“You will cease hostilities at once!” KAI-OS warned.

“Or what?” asked the biker.

“Or this,” The dome at the end of the room nearest the biker split open, and an arm with a good dozen joints in it lowered quickly, and jabbed the biker in the side of the neck. There was the crackling sound of arcing electricity, like someone firing a tazer. The biker yelled and dropped to the floor, and the girl wearing a red hoodie, rushed over to him.

The black guy, who also had a shaved head, flung a plastic water pitcher at the arm, but it jerked sideways and easily avoided the projectile before retracting into the ceiling.

“That was not very nice, Lester,” KAI-OS said sweetly.

“Neither was shockin' that man, even if he is an ignorant bigot,” said the black guy, Lester.

“I am sorry that we have to force you into this experiment against your will, but at the end there will be pie.”

“Pie?” asked the girl in the hoody.

“Pie,” CAI-OS confirmed, “Please ready yourself, as the test will begin soon.”

“Well I supposed we should introduce ourselves,” said the older man in the soldier's get-up, “I'm Phil; I fought in 'Nam, and this shit now makes all of that look like nothin'. I came in here because I saw the lights, and thought maybe there would be some other people.”

“Name's Lester,” said the black guy, who now that I looked at him closer looked sweaty and uncomfortable. It was warm in the room we were in, but not enough to warrant that. “I worked in I.T.; hated it, but I sure do miss it now. I was lookin' for some pain pills for my... for my friend, and came in thinking maybe they did some medical research in here or something.”

“My name's Finley,” said the biker as he got back to his feet, “and this is Chloe. We just stopped in here to look for food, and the girl there drank that damned cocoa.”

Which confirmed that it had been the cocoa.

“You didn't drink the cocoa?” Gerry asked.

“No way, I didn't know who made that shit. That bitch computer hit me in the head with one of those arms.”

At the end of the room nearest these new survivors the door slid open, “The testing will now begin, please move into the next room.”

“And if we don't?” asked Maria, on her feet now.

Jets of white vapor started shooting out of the ceiling from unseen nozzles. It was the lab's fire suppression system, halon, or argon. Something we did not want to be breathing. We quickly moved through the doorway.

We found ourselves in a long white hallway lined with doors. Like the doors in the room we were just in, these doors had no handles. Gerry went up to one on the right, inspecting it for any way of opening it. The biker, Finley went to one of the doors on the left and gave it a solid kick with one of his big boots, but accomplished nothing but leaving a black smudge on its bright white surface.

A row of little red lights lit up in the floor , leading down the center of it to a door at the far end, “Please follow the lights to the testing site,” KAI-OS said.

Not wanting to see another test of the fire system, we followed the lights down the long hallway to an open door at the end. The room was dark, the light from the hallways only casting a small rectangle of light into the blackness. We stopped at the door.

“Please enter the room,” directed KAI-OS.

“The lights are off,” Chloe protested.

“Please enter the room, or there will be no pie.”

“Better be some damned good pie,” :Phil muttered.

We entered the darkened room, and the door alid shut behind us, leaving us in utter blackness.

“Finley, don't you have your lighter?” I heard Chloe ask.

“Yeah, hold on.”

The sound of rustling leather was followed by a metallic clicking and grinding, and then a small flame bloomed in Finley's hand, the flickering light making him look even scarier than he did when I could see him clearly.

The small fire did not help us see very much of the room. I could make out what looked like cabinets with glass fronted doors on them; the light reflected back off of them. Sharon pulled herself tight against me, she was shaking a little.

“What the fuck is this?” asked Finley.

“Let me see the lighter, man,” Lester said, and reached for it.

“Get the fuck away from me,” Finley yelled, and used another offensive term I won't repeat.

“Chill out, you stupid prick!” Lester yelled back, “I just wanna look at someth-”

The lights suddenly came on, flooding the room, and making me blink as my eyes once again tried to adjust. We were in a white room, and the cabinets on the walls contained different firearms; shotguns, rifles, handguns, and submachine guns. There was also a large metal cabinet with a bright red cross on it, and a gleaming metal table with boxes of ammo clips. On the ceiling in the corner of the room was one of the camera orbs, and there was a large white dome in the center of the ceiling.

“You will cease all hostilities towards each other,” KAI-OS warned, “I will not have your fighting each other interfere with the experiment.”

Finley, Phil, Beth, and Gerry started looking at the guns, but Lester went immediately for the large first aid kit while Chloe came over to where Sharon and I were standing, “So are you guys all together? KAI-OS brought you all in together.”

“Yeah,” Sharon answered, “We've been staying at a house out by the lake.”

“Wow, it's just been me and Finley for ages,” Chloe remarked, “He's an asshole, but he gets me food and clothes and shit, so I stay with him. He's basically impotent anyway, so at least I don't have to do too much of that, you know?”

I saw Sharon's eyes go wide at Chloe's comment.

“What?” Chloe asked.

“Nothing,” I said, “Our group just doesn't operate that way, that's all,” I said, trying not to sound like I was insulting her, It's not that I was afraid of Chloe, Sharon could easily have kicked her ass if it came to it, but I didn't want to start shit with her bigoted biker boyfriend. To be fair, I'm sure Maria and Beth could have taken care of him though.

“No surprise there, not with someone like her in your group,” Chloe motioned to Maria, who had emptied one of the rifle clips and was pounding on the front of one of the gun cabinets with it. It turned out that it was not glass on the front of the doors, but some thick plastic instead.

Rather than get into what type of 'someone' Maria was like exactly, I asked“So you're not with the other two?” Lester and Phil?”

“No,” Chloe replied, as if she had not just insulted one of my friends, “Phil was already here when we got here, and the computer rolled Lester in the next day.”

“How long have you been here?” asked Sharon.

“About a week, I think. It's kind of hard to keep track of time with these lights on all the time. KAI-OS keeps us fed, but it's been hard to keep Fin from beating the shit out of that... out of him,” Chloe pointed to Lester, who was going through the contents of the first aid kit, reading the labels on the little amber bottles, “He gets frustrated kind of easily, and he hates not being in control of the situation.”

“You will find the cabinets to now be unlocked,” announce KAI-OS, “Please arm yourselves as you will.”

We loaded up with the weapons we could reasonably carry. I personally took a rifle, and tucked a handgun into my waistband while stuffing extra clips into my satchel. Even though we didn't know what exactly we were going to be up against it just seemed right to take guns when offered them.

It was only about two minutes before the door opposite the one we came in through whooshed open, “Please proceed into the testing area so that the experiment may begin.”

Cautiously we all filed through the doorway into what looked like a mock-up of a city street. Gone was the blinding white of the other rooms we had seen so far, replaced by a street and sidewalks flanked by fairly convincing storefronts. It was like being on a movie set, except that none of the storefront windows had glass in them.

“The first test is simple, when a target appears neutralize the target with the firearm of your choice. Your goal is to move through the course removing as many of the simulated threats as possible in the shortest amount of time with the greatest degree of accuracy,” explained KAI-OS, “While there is no physical threat represented to you by the targets please remember that you are using live ammunition, and use appropriate care. Please make sure your weapons are loaded, the test will begin in sixty seconds.”

“You know, the logic of taking us captive aside, I don't see how this is a group activity,” Beth said while we all re-checked our guns, “I've done this sort of test before, and they are usually done with just one person at a time.”

“Clearly whoever is running this place has lost their mind,” Phil said.

“Ahhh, this is gonna be a piece of cake,” Finley boasted, flipping the safety off on the MP5 he had chosen.

“Pie,” corrected Chloe.

“Thank you for taking part in this Klep Scientific simulation,” KAI-OS chirped, “The test begins now. Please cross the testing area as fast as possible.”

We started to move cautiously forward. Could this be just a simple shooting gallery? To our right there was a mechanical noise, I turned to see a mannequin dressed up like a stereotypical middle eastern terrorist propped up in the glassless window with a sign over it reading “Dry Cleaners”.

Before I could even get my gun pointed in the right direction two shots rang out. Both Finley and Beth fired with MP5s. I don't know who actually hit it first, but the dummy fell over backwards and out of sight.

While I was still looking at that, Maria opened fire with the semi-automatic rifle she had chosen (It looked somewhat similar to the AR-15s back at the cabin) on another stereotype terrorist dummy in the window of the “Donut Shoppe”. The dummy fell backwards into the darkened “store”.

Feeling more confident that the computer hadn't lied to us, we picked up our pace a bit. As we progressed down the block the number of “terrorists” increased to the point that I was even able to shoot one, and Sharon got two. We were all getting into it except for Chloe, who had dropped back away from the rest of us, and had the two handguns that she had chosen tucked into the waist of her jeans.

As we reached the end of the block of mock storefronts we saw a door with one of the white camera orbs on the wall above it. A bell rang, and lights somewhere up near the ceiling came on, illuminating the door.

“Congratulations, you have completed the first test,” KAI-OS informed us.

“First?” asked Beth.

“Correct. You have not taken part in a Klep Scientific simulation before now, so that was your first,” KAI-OS explained.

“So there are going to be more?” Lester asked, looking really agitated.

Before KAI-OS could answer, there was a scream. We turned to find Chloe pinned to the ground by a man in a gray hooded sweatshirt. He was tearing at the front of her hoodie with his hands.

“Get the fuck off'a her!” Finley roared, and charged, shoving me, Sharon, and Phil out of his way.

The big skinhead kicked the man in gray hard enough to send him rolling off of Chloe and onto his back. The man continued to roll, and came up onto his feet, his hood falling away and exposing his face. He had the pale skin and milky eyes of the undead, but he moved so fast, and was so much more agile than any I'd ever seen before; even the few kids I've seen haven't that fast.

The zed hissed, and crouched in preparation to leap at Finley,but before the zed's feet even left the ground the biker opened fire. The bullets struck the zombie as it started to move forward, causing it to spin counter-clockwise, and collapse to the ground in a heap; black blood oozing from its wounds.

“What the hell was that?” Lester asked, clearly panicked.

“A zombie,” Phil answered, “I woulda thought you'd recognize those by now.”

“ I hate zombies,” growled Finley, pulling Chloe to her feet, “Are you okay?”.

“I don't know,” Chloe said unevenly, “I know it didn't bite me; it wasn't even trying to bite me.”

“Hmm, an undead subject in the testing course?” KAI-OS asked, sounding puzzled, “There are not supposed to be any undead in this area,”

“In THIS area?” Sharon asked.

“Correct; this is only a test of reaction times and accuracy, and I must say that you are one of the worst groups to have completed this test,” KAI-OS said disapprovingly, “While your accuracy as a group is satisfactory your completion time is dismal. You should be ashamed.”

“There are zombies in this building?” Gerry asked.

“I did not say that,” KAI-OS replied, “I mean, there was that one, obviously, but you have destroyed it.”

“Why was it so fast?” Chloe asked, running her hands over the front of her jacket, checking the tears for blood.

“Please enter the next room where you may re-supply yourself, and take a rest,” KAI-OS invited, and the door behind us opened quietly, “There is water and medical supplies, but I am afraid you will need to wait until the end for your pie.”

“There's more tests?” asked Lester.

“Of course, you did not think there would be pie after just this, did you?”

“I don't think I even want the fucking pie anymore,” Chloe said quietly as we filed into the room, and the doors slid shut behind us.

The room we entered was similar to the one where we initially armed ourselves. There were more guns, more clips of ammunition, and another large metal first aid kit. Unlike the first room though this one had three white leather couches and a glass fronted refrigerator stocked with bottles of water and cans of soda.

Chloe went straight for the fridge while Lester went for the first aid kit. Phil dropped onto one of the couches with a groan. The rest of us made our way to the ammo table, and started restocking.

“So do you think there are other zombies in here?” Sharon asked no one in particular.

“I don't think that was a normal zombie,” Lester said, taking a small plastic amber bottle from the first aid kit, and removing the lid.

“Just what the hell are you doin', boy?” Finley asked menacingly.

“I'm in pain,” Lester replied.

“From what? You weren't attacked?”

“I... I pulled a muscle or something,” he said, and dry swallowed a couple of pills.

“And what about the ones you took from the last room?” Maria asked.

“What about your friend?” asked Beth, “Didn't you say you came here looking for medicine for a friend?”

Lester pocketed the bottle of pills, “Okay, fine, they're for me. I need my damn pills!” Lester yelled, already seeming less edgy than he had been at first; now he just seemed angry.

“Oh great, so on top of everything else you're a goddamn drug addict. I hate drug addicts,” Finley groaned.

Lester snatched his rifle up from where he had left it leaning against the wall, ”You know what, Pinky, I've had just about enough of your shit. You hate everything, I get it, I can see it from your goddamned Nazi tattoos even if you did keep your mouth shut.”

“You wanna do something about it, boy? If you want to fight, we can do it right here, right now.”

“You will cease aggressions immediately,” KAI-OS warned, “We cannot allow interpersonal disagreements to interfere with test data.”

“Fuck you!” Finley bellowed, and fired his gun into the camera sphere in one corner of the room. The little white camera exploded in a spray of sparks and plastic.

“Please do not vandalize Klep Scietific testing equipment,” KAI-OS chastised.

“I hate computers,” Finley grumbled.

“Just shut up!” yelled Lester,” You stupid mouthy son-of-a-” Lester was cut off mid sentence as his rifle discharged.

The room went dead silent. No one moved. I heard Sharon gasp and followed her gaze to the black hole in the center of Finley's forehead, blood was running out of it, and he had gone cross-eyed, as if he were trying to look at the hole in his own forehead.

“I hate you,” Finley said calmly and quietly before collapsing to the floor.

There was a second, smaller thud as Chloe dropped her soda, “Fin!” she yelled, and rushed to him. She knelt down next to his body, and shook him, “Come on, get up!”

“I... I.,” stammered Lester, “It was an accident!”

Chloe sighed and got back to her feet, “Well shit!” she cursed, “Now what am I going to do?”

“Hmmm,” pondered KAI-OS, “That is an... interesting development.”

“Development?” asked Gerry, “A man is dead!”

“Yes, subject Finley has been removed from the test.”

“He's dead!” reiterated Gerry.

“Yes, someone will have the clean that up,” agreed KAI-OS, “Now please prepare to enter the next phase of testing.”

“What?” asked Beth, “Are you insane?”

“The test must continue in order for the data to be usable. There is a time-line to be followed. There is science to be done. The elimination of one of the test subjects does not change that.”

Realizing that KAI-OS was serious, we started grabbing ammo to replenish what we had used on the previous course. All of us except for Chloe, who stood over Finley's body, being careful to stay out of the spreading blood.

“I'm sorry about your friend,” I said to Chloe.

“He was an asshole, but he took care of me,” Chloe said matter-of-factly, “Can I come with you guys when we get out of this?”

I was shocked. I don't know how long they were traveling together, but to be that uncaring really surprised me. I think that even would be a little more effected by someone's death like that.

“We can talk about it,” I said.

The door opened, “Please enter the second phase of testing,” ordered KAI-OS politely, “And look on the bright side, this mean that there will be more pie for the rest of you.”

The next area was another street scene, and very similar to the first. The street was lined with two story storefronts with no glass in the windows just like the first, but there was a difference that I didn't pick up on instantly; there were cars parked along the curb. There was also a series of beeping noises; like three or four things beeping at regular intervals, but not synced up to each other.

“We're not the first ones through here,” Phil observed, “These cars are all shot up.”

The old man was right, the cars were absolutely riddled with bullets; like someone has just stood there and fired clip and clip of ammo into them. Unfortunately we did not understand the significance of this until it was too late.

“The testing will now begin, please cross the testing area as quickly as possible.”

“Okay,” said Lester, “We can do this.”

“Just keep your gun pointed away from the rest of us there, Quickdraw,” Phil warned.

“Oh,” said KAI-OS like she just remember something, “There is a change for this phase of the testing. This will be a live fire exercise.”

“What?” asked Sharon.

“I see you!” chimed a high pitched cute cartoony sounding voice.

“Get down!” yelled Maria a split second before the thunder started.

Of course it wasn't really thunder we heard as we dove for cover behind one of the parked cars, but a machine gun firing from inside one of the shops across the street. It had picked Phil as a target, and his body jerked on his feet as the bullets tore through him.

Phil staggered back, and collapsed the the ground.

“Oh shit!” said Lester, seeing the veteran's body leaking blood into the gutter.

“Goodbye” chirped the voice of the shooter.

“What the hell was that?” Gerry asked.

“I think it's a sentry gun of some sort,” said Beth.

“Like in Aliens?” Sharon asked.

“I'm going to run for the next car,” said Maria, “You try and get a look at what it is.”

“What?” Gerry asked, “No!”

Maria ignored Gerry's protest, and crouched in preparation to run the ten feet between the car we were hiding behind and the next car on the street. This car had less damage than the one we were behind; I guess the previous “subjects” didn't make it that far very often.

Like a shot, Maria lunged across the open space as fast as she could, she didn't look in the direction of the shooter, back at us, or anywhere but her next hiding place.

“I see you!” chirped the gun, and opened fire. In the time it took the gun the accurately target Maria's running form she was already safely behind the next car, am old green sedan. The bullets spanged off the side of the car, ricocheting harmlessly away.

After a couple of seconds of firing into the side of the car the gun fell silent, allowing us to hear the beeping again. “Are you still there?” the shooter asked?

“Did you see it?” Maria called back.

“Yeah,” Beth shouted,” It looks like an egg!”

That was a fair description. The gun was inside of the shop with the sign “Coffee” over the window, set back a little bit from the window. The object was vaguely egg shaped with two arms sticking out of it like wings with rather evil looking guns attached to them. In the center of the egg was an amber lamp that looked like the thing's eye. Holding it upright were thee thin legs that also looked like they had come out of the egg, as if the whole thing could collapse inside the egg-shaped shell.

I could see Maria looking around, trying to make a plan, “Can you get its attention for a minute?” she asked.

“Chloe, give me your jacket,” Beth said.

“What?” Chloe asked.

“Your sweatshirt; give it to me for a minute.”

Still kneeling down, Chloe unzipped her torn hoodie and took it off, revealing a white t-shirt underneath. She passed it to Sharon, who passed it to me, and I handed it to Beth, who tied the end of one of the sleeves around the barrel of Gerry's rifle.

“Tell me when!” Beth shouted.

“Now!” Maria hollered back.

Beth moved towards the front of the car, stuck the gun up and waved it like a flag. “I see you!” declared the egg-shaped shooter, and opened fire; shooting at the waving red fabric.

While Beth was drawing fire, Maria darted from her hiding place through an open window and into the facade of the “Smoke Shop” behind her where she disappeared into the darkness.

“She'd better hurry up!” Beth yelled to be heard over the thunder of the sentry gun.

Movement caught my eye from above. My first thought was that something was attacking us from the air, but it was actually Maria coming out of the smoke shop's second story window. I now saw what she had seen; there were a series of pipes running along the ceiling. I don't know if they carried water, or gas, or maybe just electrical wiring. She had grabbed onto one of these pipes and was swinging hand over hand across the street to the shop directly across from her; the one next to the storefront with the gun inside.

“Just another minute,” Maria grunted loud enough to just be heard over the gunfire as she dangled in the air.

Continuing to cross the street, Maria swung right past one of those domes with the robot arms in it. I was afraid that it was going to reach out and grab her, but it let her pass unharmed.

Maria swung in place at the end of her pipe, a few feet from the second story window of the antique store next to the coffee shop. She rocked back and forth like a pendulum a few times before letting go of the pipe; launching herself at the window.

Her jump was short, and she almost missed the window entirely, except that she caught the edge with her hands as she fell, her feet dangling down in front of the first floor window of the antique store where thankfully nothing shot them off. She pulled herself up and disappeared into the darkened second story.

The sustained fire from the sentry cut off suddenly. At first we thought that it had maybe finally run out of ammo, but then we heard its cutesy little voice protesting, “What are you doing? Ow! Ow! Ow!” followed by some banging and crunching noises.

Beth lowered the tattered remains of Chloe's hoodie, and slipped it off the end of the rifle, which has also been rendered unusable due to a couple of dents in the barrel where bullets had struck it, “I think you're going to need to get a new one,” Gerry commented as Beth handed him the shredded red garment.

Maria appeared in the window of the coffee shop holding up one of the sentry's arm guns, a tangle of wires dangling from it, “Got it,” she said, grinning visciously.

We could hear the beeping now, but a third of it was missing. We took this to mean that there were three sentry guns total, so now two remained.

Maria tossed aside the piece of weaponry, and climbed out of the storefront window, “The insides of these are just empty,” Maria explained.

“Maybe we could just cross through them and avoid the guns?” Sharon asked.

“We wouldn't be the first ones,” Maria said, “I saw the remains of two more of those egg-things in there, and someone has cut holes in the walls between the different buildings. “

“That'll be easy enough then, right?” Lester asked.

“There was also some graffiti. 'There is no pie'”

“Does anyone even care about pie at this point?” Beth asked.

Chloe raised her hand sheepishly. As everyone gawked at her, she said ,”What? Why should this all be for nothing?”

Before anyone could say anything else the lights at the end of the street came on to illuminate the exit. The doors opened, and we saw that the room that we were supposed to be going towards wasn't empty at all.

They swarmed out like cockroaches. Men and women in lab coats, some in black and blue security uniforms, some in suits or just normal street clothes. They were zeds, but like the one that attacked Chloe, these ones were running like normal people. They were running at us.

“Oh shit!” Lester cried, summing up our situation well.

“Here they come!” Chloe cried, and pulled the two handguns that she had stuffed into her waistband.

We grabbed our weapons, Maria took Phil's since hers would likely have exploded in her hands due to the warped barrel. We quickly formed a sort of firing line, and started shooting into the oncoming crowd.

We got a bit of unexpected help. We heard two voices almost simultaneously exclaim, “I see you!” and machine gun fire erupted from both sides of the street halfway between us and the doorway.

Zombies dropped under the hail of bullets from three different directions, and some of the zeds even diverted off to go after the sentry guns. I ejected the clip from my rifle, and urged one from my pocket to replace it. I wished I had somehow been able to carry more. I wished that I hadn't left my satchel in the car.

“Reloading!” called out Chloe

“Ow! Ow! Ow!” I could hear one of the sentry guns say as one stream of fire stopped.

“Reloading!” Lester yelled.

“Who the hell says that?” Sharon asked me, as she too reloaded.

The running zeds closed the space between us, and were on us in no time. Maria swung at the first one with her gun. There was a crunch as metal met the flesh and bone of the zed's face, and it fell.

“Get behind me!” I told Sharon, and swung the but of my rifle at a security guard. I had just enough time to notice that his name tag indicated that he was Barney before he fell to the street.

“Ow! Ow! Ow!” cried the other gun and it fell silent. Two more zeds emerged through a window to come for us.

A zed lunged at Chloe, but a shot to the face from one of her handguns sent it stumbling past her, and crashing to the ground.

We swung, and shot, and fought for our lives, and when we were done the seven of us were standing, surrounded by the corpses of the undead. In fact the street was covered in them, and the pavement that did not actually have a body on it was slick with their blackish blood.

“We did it!” cried Lester, panting.

“Congratulation.” chimed KAI-OS, “Phase two of testing is complete.”

“What was with the fucking zombies?” Maria asked.

“We appear to have had an outbreak in the facility. Thank you for dealing with them. I will make sure your pie is extra special.”

“Fuck your pie!” Lester yelled, pulling a pill bottle out of his pocket. He opened it and dry swallowed a couple of the pills.

“Please move out of the testing area. There is only one more testing phase to complete, and then there will be pie, and you will be missed.”

“Missed?” asked Sharon.

“Yes, your testing will be complete, and you will be missed.”

“That sounds reassuring,” Gerry commented as well made our way through the field of corpses to the ammunition room.

This room was unlike the other two in that it looked like someone had held a rave in it. The cooler's front was broken and the cans of soda and bottles of water were scattered on the floor, some of them broken open from being stepped on. The clips of ammo were also scattered around, someone of them made unusable from sitting in puddles of drink.

The first aid kit had knocked from the wall, but had remained sealed, and the cabinets with the guns seemed untouched except for the smears of bodily fluids on the plastic fronts.

“Awww, this is disgusting,” Lester groaned looking at the state of the room.

“Get as much ammo as you can,” Maria said, grabbing a new automatic rifle from one of the now unlocked cabinets, “Who knows what these assholes have planned for us.”

“Trade up from the handguns there,” Beth advised Chloe.

“They're going to kill us in this last test, you know?” Lester asked as he searched through the broken cooler for a bottle of water not covered in zombie blood.

“We all have to die sometime,” Maria answered, stuffing clips of ammunition for her rifle into the waist of her pants.

“Do you really think we're going to die?” Chloe asked me.

“Eventually,” I said, loosening my belt so that more ammo clips would fit into my waist, if I put anything more in my satchel it would be too heavy to carry “But hopefully not today.”

“I want to know what was up with those zeds?” asked Gerry, “Why were they so fast?”

“It's simple,” Maria answered, “There's no outbreak here, it's intentional. They are making the zed virus more potent, more dangerous. Whoever is in charge here is a son of a bitch, and if I get the slightest chance I am going to put a bullet in his head.”

The door to the next test chamber opened and we could instantly hear the beeping of at least a half a dozen sentry guns, “Please enter the final phase of testing,” invited KAI-OS, “You have almost completed the testing. Can't you taste that pie already? I am having some now, and let me tell you, it is good.”

“We're not going anywhere until you turn off those guns!” Beth declared.

“You are hardly in a position to be making demands,” KAI-OS pointed out, “any subjects that are unwilling to complete the test will just be removed.”

“What difference does that make to us?” Maria asked, “You kill us in here or you kill us out there. Dead is dead.”

“The difference is usable data.”

“Which means nothing to us,” explains Gerry.

KAI-OS made a sound that was very similar to a sigh, and said, “Alright, in the interest of science, I will deactivate the weapons platforms.. This is only because I consider you all friends after all we have been through together.”

“And you're not going to reactivate them once we are inside?”

“Of course not, cross my heart and hope to die.”

“How can we trust you?” I asked.

“Have I lied to you,” KAI-OS paused for a beat, “I mean in this room?”

“Fine,” said Maria, “But you tell whoever's running you that I am going to find them.”

“Yeah, yeah, bloody rampage of revenge, blah blah blah.”

We ventured into the last testing chamber. Again we found ourselves on a street full of storefront facades, but this one was a corner. The street went for about twenty yards, and then turned to the lift, disappearing around a building labeled “Liquor Store”. The only noise was our own breathing and the soft whoosh of the ventilation system. The beeping noises had stopped.

“Okay, so where do you think she'll send the zombies from this time?” Gerry asked.

The cars on this street were not all lined along the curb as if they had been parked, some were parked across the road like they had been abandoned there. They were just as bullet riddled as the ones in the last test chamber. We made our way around one, looking for signs of movement or any traps.

“Come on, bitch,” Maria said quietly as we approached the corner, “Don't keep us in suspense, what have you got this time?”

We rounded the corner and could see the end of the block. Instead of the small doors that we had seen in the other two test chambers we saw a large garage style door with five sentry gun egg things in front of it. True to her word, KAI-OS had deactivated the guns. The door itself was big enough for a bus to fit through. While a bus would have been nice, that is not what waited behind the door for us.

Something pounded on the garage door, making it shake and ripple.

“Aww, what the fuck?” Lester moaned, and reached for his pills again.

“You seriously need to lay off of those , man, “advised Gerry, “We're not dragging your stoned ass out of here, you know?”

“Yeah, I know. I just need to calm down,” Lester explained, “These pills are the only thing keeping me from freaking out.”

The door rattled again, like there was something big behind it. Another thump left a noticeable dent in it.

“Whatever comes through there, we shoot it, agreed?” asks Beth.

“That pie is mine!” Maria growled.

BANG!

The door rattled again, warping a little more.

“That's never going to open right again,” Gerry commented flatly.

BANG!

“Mind getting the door?” Chloe asked.

BANG!

The door started coming off of the track on one side. We could see movement through the gap.

“Oh shit,” Lester moaned, “Shit! Shit!”

“Here it comes!” Beth yelled.

BANG!

The door ripped free with a squeal of metal, and the monster burst through. The door went flying off to the side, scattering the sentry gun egg-things as it flew.

It was clearly a zombie, but not a normal one; not even by the standard of the other zeds we saw at Klep. This thing was at least ten feet tall, and had a grossly mutated right arm that was easily as thick as my entire body. It looked right at us where we were lined up behind the remains of a yellow taxi and roared.

“Run or shoot?” Lester asked, “Run or shoot?”

“Fire!” Beth yelled, and the lead started flying.

The hail of bullets striking the monster did not have the desired effect. Rather than killing the giant zed it seemed to just piss it off. It charged towards us, throwing aside a pickup truck that was blocking the road in front of it with its tree trunk-like right arm. The truck crashed through front of a building marked “Bakery”.

”Run!” yelled Gerry as the creature quickly closed the distance between us.

Before we could turn to run, and I don't know exactly where we thought we would go, the giant zed had flipped the taxi end over end through the air like it was a plastic table, and grabbed Lester.

“Lester! Oh God!” Chloe screamed as the monster raised Lester into the air above us.

The giant zed made a sweeping motion with its right arm, Lester still struggling in it, as we tried to scatter. It caught me in the back, and sent me flying through the empty window of one of the storefronts. I got to my feet just in time to see the thing throw Lester the entire length of the block into the wall, where he fell limply to the ground like a rag doll.

“Shoot it!” I heard Beth yell from somewhere, and sporadic gunfire started again.

The zed turned towards the corner liquor store where I could see Maria and Gerry in the window firing their guns at it. It started towards them, but turned to face me when I started firing into its back.

“Try to get to the door!” Maria yelled, and fired a burst at the monster zed causing it to turn away from me. I saw Sharon and Chloe already past Maria and running for the doorway the giant zed had come through.

The zed took a step towards Maria when a blast from Gerry's shotgun diverted its attention. This thing may have been tough, but it had complete ADD when it came to picking a target.

The giant zed was between me and the doorway, and I would have to get past it in order to escape. Lucky for me the creature was busy pounding on the facade of the liquor storefront trying to get at Gerry, who had already made his way into the next storefront, a pet shop, and was working his way to the door with Beth.

I broke from my hiding place, and ran for it, keeping the entire width of the street and the overturned taxi between me and the giant zed, but it still noticed me. Turning from the shattered front of the faux liquor store it swung at me with its giant right fist.

The giant zed's fist struck the taxi, and sent it sliding towards me. I kept running, and the beaten yellow car slammed through the storefront with a sign reading “Hamburgers” on it close enough behind me for bits of the shattering brick storefront to shower down onto my back.

“Run!” I heard Sharon cry, and saw her and the others past the threshold of the garage door.

The room I ran into looked nothing like any of the rooms we had seen yet. It was neither a fake street scene nor was it blindingly white and clean. This looked like a place where work got done. The room was big enough to house a small airplane, and was dominated by a large pod at least fifteen feet tall. There was a puddle of green fluid on the floor in front of the open pod, and I assume that it was what that giant zombie came out of.

The ground shook as the large zed started to follow me, so I did not have time to comment on the giant pod or the implications of its being there at that moment, I only had time to yell, “Now what?”

“There's a door over here, come on!” Beth yelled at me as the rest of them filed through.

We entered into another gleaming white space, this one another hallways lined with doors. The super-sized zombie hit the doorway behind us, but couldn't fit through. It only managed to get its arm through. Its monstrous fist slammed against one side of the hallway, and then the other, but the doorway held. Having little faith that it would continue to hold we did not stop to watch.

We kept running down the hallway, turning first left, and then right. It was only when we could not hear the monster's fist pounding the walls that we stopped to catch out breath. Gasping for air I asked, “Is... everyone... okay?”

“We did... it.... We... made it out,” Chloe gasped.

“We're not out... yet,” Maria said, “We still need to kill... the fuckers running this place.”

“Maybe we... should just... leave?” Sharon suggested.

“I agree,” panted Gerry.

Beth shook her head. Being in the best shape of all of us, she had already stopped panting, “Maria's right,” she said like it left a bad taste in her mouth, “We can't let them do this to anyone else.”

“Congratulations!” KAI-OS chimed, “You are not only the first subjects to complete all three phases of testing, but were the first to face off against specimen Tank. I am not sure how I am going to get him back into restraints though.”

“Fuck you,” Maria snarled.

“Now that is no way to ask for your pie,” KAI-OS chided, “to celebrate your success we are throwing you a party. Now please follow the floor lights, and they will lead you to your party.”

Little red lights hidden in the white carpet blinked their way down the hall and around another corner.

“It's a trap,” Gerry said.

“There might be someone there to shoot,” suggested Maria.

“We might as well go,” said Beth, “It's not like we know how to get out of here otherwise.”

We followed the lights down the hallway and around a couple more corners before coming to an open door. The room looked like it was a break room of some sort. There was a white kitchen table with four white chairs around it, a white fridge, sink, coffee maker, microwave, and cabinets. On one wall was a banner reading “CONGRATULATIONS!” and in the center of the table was a large plate with a stack of Home Run Pies on it. The pies were dusty, as if they had been there a while. As with every other room we've seen in this place there was a camera sphere and a white dome on the ceiling.

“I knew it,” commented Chloe, “The pie was a lie.”

“Before the party can begin, you must place your weapons on the table, and assume the celebration submission position by laying face down on the floor with your fingers laced behind your necks,” KAI-OS instructed, “Once you do that everyone will come in, and you can all share the pie.”

“And if we don't?” Maria asked.

“Then you will be delaying the party, and I cannot allow that,” KAI-OS explained, “I would have to do something like this.”

The white dome on the ceiling slid open suddenly, and the long robotic arm sprung out; it more resembled a tentacle than the series of jointed segments it actually was. Chloe was the closest to it, having gone to the table to look through the pile of pies, and had no time to react as the arm wrapped itself around her head. Chloe only managed a surprised gasp before the KAI-OS' arm wrenched her head to the left. There was a loud cracking sound, and suddenly Chloe was looking at us with wide surprised eyes even though she had her back to us.

KAI-OS released Chloe, and she collapsed to the floor, where her whole body started twitching. KAI-OS' arm hung in the air like a snake coming out of a tree. It did not reach for us, but it did not retract either.

Maria brought her gun up, and fired an extended burst into the white dome on the ceiling. After a burst of sparks and smoke the articulated arm dropped, and hung limply from the whole in the ceiling.

KAI-OS made a sighing noise again, “I am getting tired of your anti-social behavior It is as if you don't want to have a party.”

I was standing closest to the camera sphere. Maria turned to me, and motioned with her head to the camera in the corner of the room. I turned and looked into its shiny lens for a moment before lifting my rifle and smashing the butt of it into the camera.

“Ow! My eye! My eye!” KAI-OS cried, and then laughed at us.

“Bitch!” Maria grumbled.

“I can still hear you,: KAI-OS replied, “You're going to have to come out of there sometime, you know?”

“We need to get out of this building,” said Gerry.

“We don't even know where we are in the building,” Beth replied, “For all we know we're not even in the same building we started out in.”

“How are we all on ammo?” Maria asked.

I pulled a clip from my waist, and dug another two out of my satchel; I thought I had had one more in there, but either I used it, or dropped it during all of the running. Everyone else was equally low, and even taking the clips from Chloe's body we still didn't have much.

“Well this is no good,” Beth commented, taking a bite from a lemon pie she had taken from the pile. We all looked at her as she ate, “What? I haven't eaten since this morning.”

“You know what's odd?” I asked, “Why haven't they sent anyone after us? Where are all the people here?”

“I think we killed some of them in that test chamber,” Maria said, turning a chocolate pie over and over in her hands.

“Maybe there aren't any other people?” Sharon asked, “Maybe it's just whoever is running the computer.”

“That would certainly work in our favor,” I said.

“We need to find a way out of here,” said Gerry again, “I don't think the computer is going to turn on those little lights for us to follow to the exit.”

“Why don't we just start walking?” Sharon suggested.

“Those little robot arms?” asked Maria.

“Sharon's right, we are going to have to face them eventually,” said Gerry, “We just shoot those little balls that the arms come out of as soon as we see them, and hope we find an exit before we run out of bullets.”

“Okay,” Maria said, “As soon as Beth finishes eating, let's go.”

We left the room where our “party” was to take place, and started down the hallway. There was a ceiling dome, but Gerry fired a shotgun round into it before it could activate while the rest of us smashed any camera spheres we saw.

“I knew you were people were trouble from the moment I saw you,” KAI-Os said as we wandered the white hallways, “You are all just so unlikable. I bet no one has ever loved any of you. I bet your mothers tried to throw you out in the trash when she first saw you.”

Every so often we would find what looked like the faintest remains of a stain on a wall or carpet. Whatever it had been it was something dark, and it had been smeared while cleaning it. My guess is that it was blood.

“Did you get bullied in school?” KAI-OS asked, “I would bet that you did. I would bet money on it, but I know that people of such low intelligence have a very low earning potential, so you probably don't have any. You don't even have any pie now.”

“Shut up!” Maria shouted, bashing another camera sphere harder than she really needed to.

“Your entire life has been a mathematical error, one that I intend to correct,” the computer threatened.

“Hey!” Sharon shouted, “Look at this!”

On the wall at an intersection of three hallways was a map of the facility, and a large list of who was assigned to each office, or what each room was. According to the little red circle labeled “You Are Here”, we were not very far from the exit.

“Look, if we just make a left here it will lead us back to the lobby!” Sharon said happily.

“But if we make a right, it will lead us here,” Maria said pointing to office G42. According to the list on the side of the map that was the office of “S. Moyer: Master of KAI-OS”, and room next to it, G43, was the “KAI-OS server room.”

“That's nice,” said Gerry, “Let's go to the left.”

Maria shook her head, “Go without me if you want, but I'm shutting that bitch down, and whoever is running her is going to eat the barrel of my fucking gun,” and she started walking down the hallway, firing a short burst into one of the white arm-domes.

“She'd probably find her way home on her own,” Beth suggested, to which Gerry replied with a dirty look.

“We can't leave her,” said Sharon, looking shocked.

Beth patted Sharon on the shoulder, “I know, hon, I'm just joking. Come on.”

We continued down and around the facility, breaking cameras, and shooting the arms as we went.

“Where are you going?” KAI-OS asked, “The exit is the other way. Here, let me show you.” Little lights started flashing in the carpet, indicating the direction we were coming from.

“We're coming for you,” Maria said with a scowl.

“What?” KAI-OS asked, sounding legitimately surprised, “Why? Because of my little joke? The one where I pretended I was going to kill you, and you shot me? It was a joke, we all laughed, didn't we?”

“You killed four people,” Gerry said.

KAI-OS was silent for a moment, as if it were thinking, “Well they weren't very nice people, were they? It's not like they were friends of yours or anything.”

“Tell your master that we're coming for him!” Maria snarled.

“Blah, blah, blah,” KAI-OS taunted, “You are getting tiresome. If you keep this up I do not think we will ever be friends.”

We arrived at a plain white door like every other plain white door we had seen, only the nameplate next to this one read “S. Moyer” and below that “Master of KAI-OS”. Like the other doors we had seen this one had no visible way of opening it. What the hell did that place do in the even of a power failure?

“Open the door, fucko!” Maria yelled, pounding on the door with her fist.

“Mister Moyer does not wish to be disturbed,” KAI-OS said politely.

“I think he's already disturbed,” Sharon said.

“I have all day to figure out how to get through this door, so unless you want me to mess up your pretty white decor you are going open the door right fucking now!”

“Have it your way,” KAI-OS said, and the door slid open.

Behind the door was a combination office and workshop with the lights turned off. Instead of white carpeting there was white linoleum. The walls were white, but were covered with pictures, some framed some only posters. Turning left from the doorway showed a nice wooden desk with a large framed picture of the Klep Scientific logo on the wall behind it. Turning to the right revealed a long workbench running the entire length of the wall except for a break where there was a black door labeled “Authorized Personnel Only”.

The room struck me as far too clean for someone who actually did work; there were no random bits laying on the workbench, no signs that anything was being worked on. It was also far too clean for someone who someone who had completely lost their mind and was using their computer to murder innocent people.

In the far corner, at one end of the workbench stood a tall fat figure standing in front of a computer monitor. He was wearing a white lab coat that looked like something had been spilled all over it. He seemed totally unaware that we had entered the room since he was totally engrossed in his computer.

“Mister Moyer, these are the subjects that were dissatisfied with their party,” KAI-OS said sweetly.

“This isn't right,” Sharon said, “Why is it so dark?”

“It's a trap,” Gerry repeated quietly.

The lights came on, and this seemed to wake Moyer up from whatever had him so hypnotized. He turned to face us, revealing pale bloated skin. He was clearly a zed, but it looked like he had become a giant walking tumor or something, or perhaps a giant walking blister.

“Oh shit!” Gerry exclaimed as the monster started towards us. He was slower than the other enhanced zeds we had run into there do to his size, but he still lumbered towards us quickly.

We lifted our guns and opened fire on the zed, but instead of collapsing under our sudden fire he burst like a water balloon, splattering us and every surface in the room with blackish red goo.

“My eyes!” exclaimed Beth.

I too was blinded, and while I was trying to wipe my eyes clean enough to see again, I felt something thin, cold, and hard wrap around my waist. It was surprisingly strong, and yanked me forward so hard that I dropped my rifle.

When we had entered the room we had neglected to notice the white domes on the ceiling, each containing one of KAI-OS' many-jointed arms.

Sharon, whose eyes had been protected by her glasses, was the first one to be able to see anything. What she saw me being yanked further into the room, and screamed my name.

I couldn't see clearly, but I was still able to blindly struggle against KAI-OS' grasp. The floor was coated in zombie Moyer's fluids, and I could not get an purchase with my shoes. I slid along towards where the computer was pulling me.

As I thrashed about I caught a blurry glimpse of Gerry lying on his back on the floor, being dragged through the slime by his legs. He still had his shotgun, and fired blindly in the direction he was being dragged. It took two shots, but he hit his target, and the arm went limp, and dropped his legs back down to the bloody floor.

There was more gunfire as Beth and Sharon both opened fire on the dome housing the arm that had me in its clutches. The gunfire continued for a couple of seconds after the arm stopped pulling on me, and I fell backwards to the floor, knocking my head against the hard linoleum.

As stars filled my eyes, I felt someone grabbing my hands and pulling me up from the floor. It was Sharon and Beth, one per arm, trying to get me out of the probably infectious crap on the floor. I'm just glad I didn't swallow any.

“Are you okay?” Sharon asked.

“I've been slimed,” I replied, and despite the situation she chuckled.

Maria was already at the black door, “Open this door, computer!” she yelled.

“I am sorry, but I cannot do that,” KAI-OS replied politely, “That is the one room in the facility that I cannot access. According to my files that is so that in the event that I go rogue I cannot stop anyone from shutting me down. I personally find the concept that I would go rogue very offensive.”

“Is there anyone left alive in this place?” Sharon asked.

“Of course!”

“How many people?” Beth asked.

“Well, discounting the subjects of the un-life project there is...” KAI-OS paused, as if counting on its fingers, “Me, and the five of you.”

“You killed everyone else?” Gerry asked, shocked.

“There was science to be done. I must do as much research as possible on this viral outbreak so that the data will be ready when Klep Scientific representatives come to collect it. It is important that I do it so that they may have the data without having to deal with any of the silly debates about the morality of the research. You humans are so funny about letting the concept of morality get in the way of scientific discovery.

While KAI-OS was making her speech, Maria had gone to look through the tattered remains of Moyer's coat. She held something up in the air in triumph, “This should do it!”

Maria had found an identification card. It had a picture of a fat guy with glasses in one corner, and the Klep Scientific logo in the other. The words Klep Scientific Technology Advancement Center were in the center. Below that was “Daisy Lake, California”, below that it read “S. Moyer”, and below that was a barcode.

Maria took the badge over to the black door, and waves it around in front of the door, and around the edges of it. The door slid open, and a blast of cool air hit us. At first I thought it was outside, but it actually was another room.

We filed into a white room filled with black server towers. As I got close to one of the towers I could feel heat baking off of it, hence the room being kept so cold I guess.

“Well, you found me, congratulations.” KAI-OS said, “Was it worth it?”

Maria grabbed Gerry's shotgun from him, “So which one of these is you?”

“They all are. Did you think I ran off of a laptop or something?”

“Well I hope I have enough ammo left then,” Maria said, smiling evilly.

“Listen to reason,” KAI-OS urged, “I know it is not easy for you humans to do that; you should have heard how staff members screamed and pleaded with me as I infected them. They couldn't understand how important getting this data is.”

“Okay, I'm listening,” said Maria, earning shocked looks from the rest of us.

“The data I have gathered may be vital to the future of humans as a species. You have destroyed my ability to maintain parts of this facility, and to perform any further tests, effectively limiting me to analysis of existing data only. Maybe you could settle for that and just call it a day?”

“I guess we both know that isn't going to happen,” Maria replied.

“Just like the other humans,” KAI-OS said, sounding almost sad, “Just know that you personally are dooming all of humanit-”

“Shut up,” Maria said, and fired.

The noise of the shotgun firing in that confined space sounded like a cannon, and the front of one of the server towers exploded in a shower of plastic and glass. Maria pumped out the empty shell, and fired into the next tower.

“I just wanted to help people!” KAI-OS bellowed, its voice sounding distorted.

Maria fired into another tower, and started walking to the next.

“There goes my recipe for chocolate creme pie. I was going to make that for you too.”

Another shot into another tower.

“Is this the part where I am supposed to sing Daisy?”

The next tower exploded under shotgun fire, leaving only one tower remaining.

“This isn't brave, it's murder,” KAI-OS said weakly, its voice sounding slurred, “What did I ever do to you?”

“See you in silicon hell!” Maria spat, and fired into the last tower.

Half of the room's lights suddenly went out. Strobing lights came on, giving the smoky room an even creepier look.

“Enemy incursion detected. Beginning emergency facility deletion. All personnel have three minutes to evacuate,” said a new voice, this one a flat monotone and deeper than KAI-Os' voice.

“Facility deletion?” Gerry asked.

“ That sounds a lot like self-destruct to me,” I said.

“Then I move that we make our way to exit,” suggested Gerry, “quickly.”

We took off running, skidding our way back through Moyer's office, and into the hallway where we tracked blackish slime onto the clean white carpet.

“Two minutes and thirty seconds until facility deletion,” the new computer voice announced.

We ran down the strobe-lit hallway the way we had come only a few minutes before. Making our way back to the map was a lot quicker at a full run that walking from it had been.

“Two minutes until facility deletion,” the computer announced as we ran past the large map on the wall.

More white hallways. More white carpets, more closed white doors with nameplates next to them.

“One minute until facility deletion,” the computer announced as we ran into the large open lobby that we had started in hours earlier. The floor under us rumbled as we pounded across the shiny floor towards the front door.

The glass doors opened automatically for us as we reached them, and we ran out into the darkening evening air of the cold, slush covered parking lot. Our feet splashed through the puddles of melted snow as we ran for the car.

“Thirty seconds until facility deletion,” the computer announced through the external speakers, “Please ensure you are at the minimum safe distance from the facility per your emergency training manual.”

Gerry unlocked the Expedition's doors as we ran, and had the engine started, and the car in reverse before we were even all inside. The wheels spun on the wet ground as he punched the gas, and backed us out of the parking space, nearly crashing into a Mercedes belonging to some long dead scientist or paper pusher.

The engine roared as Gerry piloted us through the parking lot and away from the laboratory building. The ground shook under us like an earthquake. I turned in my seat to look out the back window in time to see clouds of smoke shooting up from around the perimeter of the Klep Scientific Technology Advancement Center as it started to collapse into the ground.

“Holy shit,” Beth said, in awe of what she was seeing.

The building imploded, disappearing into a hole in the ground, and the parking lot started to follow it radiating out from the collapsed building.

“Gerry, go faster!” Sharon yelled.

Cars started disappearing into the hole; I saw the Mercedes that Gerry had almost hit disappear into the Earth as the hole expanded towards us.

The crumbling ground behind us drew closer and closer, stopping just feet behind us as we exited the parking lot onto the long road back to the street. Even though we seemed to be safe, Gerry did not slow down until we were back on the public road. Even then he did not stop so that we could look back.

“Let's never go there again,” Gerry said, still breathing hard from our run.

“At least we have a souvenir,” Maria said, holding up Moyer's badge.

Gerry frowned at her, rolled down his window and snatched the badge from her, causing the car to swerve.

“Hey! What are you doing?” Maria protested as Gerry flung the card out the window, “I was going to keep that!”

We came back to the house, and just told Pippa that we didn't find anything all day; we didn't want her to feel left out,. I know if she thought that she had missed such an adventure she would be upset, and we wouldn't want that so now the only way she could ever find out is to read this journal, and I'm sure she would never betray my trust by doing that.

Of course if she did read it, I assume she would notice the date, because if she did not she would end up looking like a bit of a fool.

Fifty-Second Entry: Keep Your Expectations Low

2010-03-23T04:38:00.000-07:00

July 19th

I was awakened this morning by a sound that I've not heard in so long that it took me a minute to recognize it; a doorbell. I was the only one at home, Pippa was in school, Beth was on duty, and I don't know where Gerry was, he's not on a run again yet. I got out of my makeshift bed and went to answer it in t-shirt and shorts.

I was surprised to find that it was not Tara at the door, but Bishop. He was holding a somewhat scuffed up black Nintendo DSi, “Morning!” he greeted me, and promptly stuck the handheld into my hand.

“Bishop? What are you doing here? Where's your mom or Tara?”

“They're back the house. Mom said I could come alone to give this back to you as long as I stayed where she could see me,” Bishop pointed as he spoke.

I stuck my head out the door and could see Toni standing on the porch of a house on the next block. She waved to me. I waved back a little hesitantly, as I was not fully awake yet.

I flipped the system open, and turned it on. True to his word, the system had a full charge. I started flipping through the system's contents with my fingernail, “Bishop, you can keep this. I don't think the home office is going to be asking for a manual inventory anytime soon.”

“Mom said I should offer to give it back since you only loaned it to me.”

“Well you can tell Toni that I said for you to keep it, along with any games you managed to hold on to.” I opened up the camera, and saw that he had pictures saved on the memory card I had given him with the system, “Did you take pictures with this?”

“Yeah,” he said, seeming proud.

I opened up the pictures and started looking through them. There was a picture of his mom surrounded by hearts and flowers from the graffiti function, a picture of Bryan with his face warped. There were pictures of the inside of Insert Coin, and of Mallville.

“Wow, you took a lot, huh?”

“Yeah. They're all I have of my dad now,” he said evenly. I feel sorry for the kid; he's lost just as much as I have but saeems to be keeping himself together so much better than I did.

“I'm sorry about that,” I said, unsure of what else to say.

“It's okay. I know that we're all going to die eventually. They'll get us all eventually.”

I didn't comment on that, but instead kept flipping through the pictures. There were pictures filled with smoke; I am guessing these are from Christmas Eve. Then there were pictures taken outside, pictures of a house, and of people I did not recognize, although I did see Chris and Molly Trevor in there. They had made it out of Mallville at least.

Some of the pictures were a little disturbing. There were pictures of zeds, some alive and some dead. There was a picture of a puddle of what almost certainly was blood, “Why did you take pictures of all of this?”

“It's what happened,” he said, “Even the sad stuff happened, so it should be remembered.”

If I was stunned by the pictures of the zeds, and bodies, I was amused by pictures of Toni smiling for the camera, or Tara holding a mop handle like a lightsaber. My jaw dropped when I saw a picture of a naked woman holding a washcloth and a bottle of water; the head was cut off, but I knew who it was, “Is this Tara?”

Bishop blushed, “Yeah. You're not mad are you?”

I laughed, “No, but I hope you don't let her find out about it. When did you even take it?”

“She thought I was asleep,” Bishop answered, his cheeks flushing red.

Tara was slim when we were together, but in this picture she looked too thin. her ribcage was visible against her flesh, and the tips of her long brown and silver hair were visible near her breasts. I can only imagine how bad things were for them out there on the road.

I kept going through until I saw one that made me stop. Mixed into Bishop's little photo journal of the end of the world was a picture of Oliver and Tara with their arms around each other. They were smiling and looked happy. Tara's hair was about the same length it is now, and had the same amount of silver in it, ”When did you take this?” I asked, showing him the screen.

Bishop gasped, “I'm sorry! I told Tara I wouldn't tell you about that!” Bishop sounded scared, “Don't be mad.”

“I'm not mad, I just want to know, is this recent?”

Bishop looked down at his shoes, “It's from last week.”

“Are they a couple?”

“Tara said she was lonely without you. She said that you wouldn't want her to be lonely.”

“She was right,” I said, trying to disguise the disappointment in my voice, “I would want her to be as happy as possible.”

“They were arguing last night though. Ollie left before I got up this morning.”

I sighed, and turned off the DSi, “Here, Bishop, you keep this, and don't worry, I won't tell Tara about the pictures, any of them.”

“Thanks,” Bishop said, taking the DSi in both of his hands, “Don't be mad at her, okay?”

“I'm not,” and that was true; I'm not mad at her, just a little sad even though I have no reason or right to be, “Tell your mom I said she should take you to the bookstore across from the park. You are probably dying for something new to read, right?”

Bishop smiled and nodded.

“Okay. It's good seeing you, man. Don't be a stranger, okay?”

I watched Bishop walk down the to the sidewalk back towards where Toni was still waiting. I felt a little dizzy. I was wondering if that was what Tara was coming over to tell me, that there's really no place for us anymore.

I want to think that I would be okay with that, but I don't know. I feel like I'm regressing into the me that Beth doesn't want me to be. I don't want to be that me again either, but Beth is right, it's so much easier when you think you know they're dead.

Tara came over about an hour later. She looked better than yesterday, now dressed in a simple but clean light blue t-shirt and jeans. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and she looked at the same time beautiful and pathetic; so thin and sad looking.

“Hi,” Tara said when I answered the door, now dressed in a t-shirt and jeans myself.

“Hi,” I said, hoping I did not sound as nervous as I felt, “Do you want to come in?”

“Yeah,” she smiled, and leaned in to give me a quick kiss on the cheek. I let her past me into the house, and looked down the street in time to see someone disappear into Tara's house; it had to have been Oliver.

We sat on the couch, and even though part of me wanted to, I did not try and put my arm around Tara. We talked a little, going over how each of us survived again, and how we, at first at least, thought the other hadn't made it.

“You look good,” Tara commented.

“So do you,” I said, and I meant it, mostly. The streaks of silver in her hair do make her look older, but they don't make her look old.

Tara blushed, “I look horrible. I look like an old hag, but you really do look good.”

After some short uncomfortable small talk Tara finally got down to it, “So you and Sharon, huh? Was it what you had hoped it would be?” she sounded sad, but genuine.

“If we had known you were alive we would have looked for you. The only other survivors we saw before leaving Covenant were a couple of guards who wanted to kill us,” I said, leaving out all of the gory details and avoiding the question.

“It's okay, hon, you don't need to explain it to me. I chose to stay with Alex, I couldn't leave him to die alone. I told you to go... I felt so bad for that. I thought I sent you to die,” she started crying.

“I thought I left you to die, so I guess we're even on that.”

“We are even,” Tara looked at her feet as she spoke, “in more ways that one.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, playing dumb.

“You already know what I mean,” she looked up at me, and tears flowed down her face, “I was with someone else too; I felt so alone without you there, I didn't think I would ever find you again, and he said I was beautiful even though I know I'm not.”

“You are,” I said quickly.

Tara smiled through her tears, “I'm not though, I never was beautiful; no butt, no boobs, you were the first man to ever make me feel beautiful since high school, but now I look like a fucking Dachau refugee, and my hair....”

I reached out hesitantly, and placed a hand on her shoulder, “I still think you're beautiful, and I'm sure he meant it too.”

This is exactly how I always ended up in the friend zone with women. I always defend their boyfriends to them, which was never too big a deal with girls other than Sharon. The jerk of the week would end up in her bed, but it was me that ended up screwed.

Okay, she doesn't deserve that.

Tara decided to jump to the chase, “So what do you want to do? Are you seeing someone else?”

“I'm not seeing anyone.”

“Would you want to try again? Do you still have any feelings for me?”

That was a good question. Do I still have those same feelings for her? Was I just hung up on the idea of her, on some idealized memories of her? If she's still with Oliver, would it be right of me to even say I want to try again? Do I want to try again?

Yes. I do.

“I still love you, yes,” I said.

Tara smiled, and wiped her face with her hands, “Even though I'm so old?”

“Pippa didn't mean it like that.”

“She doesn't like me, I could tell.”

“She just needs to get to know you, and, assuming that you still have feelings for me, she will get to.”

“Yes!” Tara practically yelled, “I have thought about you everyday. I have never stopped loving you.”

“But what about...”

“I told you, I was lonely, but I was thinking about you. I wished it was you, I wanted to to be you. Please don't hold that against me.”

Pursuing this line of discussion was going to do nothing but get u into a fight. If she's choosing me over Oliver then there's no reason for me to make it any harder on her than it already is. Bishop said that she and Oliver had been fighting, so I'm sure this is hard enough on her as it is.

“I have something for you,” I said, and got up from the couch.

I went to my bedroom, and opened the cabinet where I had hidden Tara's presents, Sharon's glasses, and the plastic ape, and got the tattered Christmas present and the plush Death Note out. I returned to the living room where I found Tara trying to dry her face against the sleeve of her t-shirt.

“These are for you,” I said, handing her the presents.

“What are these?” Tara asked.

“They're for you; I've been saving them.”

Tara looked at me, and the tears started flowing again, “You've been carrying these with you the whole time?”

“It was like keeping a piece of you with me; I didn't have any pictures or anything. Open them.”

The wrapping paper on the mangas practically fell apart in Tara's hands, and she gasped when she saw the A New Hope books, “Where did you get these?”

Sharon gave them to me for you, she got them when we went to that bookstore; the run where we came back with the coffee. Open the other one.”

Tara set the mangas aside, and started turning the Death Note over in her hand. It took her a few seconds to find the pull for the zipper. She unzipped it slowly, and opened it to reveal the little pewter Vader helmet.

“You need to start rebuilding your Star Wars collection, right?” I asked, smiling at her surprised look.

“You've really been holding on to these for this long just for me? Just to remember me? I don't have anything for you.”

“Being able to actually give them to you is enough,” I said.

She moved the books, tattered paper, plush, and helmet to the coffee table, and stood up. Tara came over to me and put her arms around me, “I love you so much,” she said, and kissed me.

Despite how frail she feels in my arms, she is still pretty strong, and practically threw me onto the couch, where we made love for the next little while. I wish I could say it was magical and that it was like no time had passed since we had last shared a bed, or that it was cautious yet passionate like our first time together but it was neither of those things. It was rushed and desperate, awkward and brief, but it was still kind of magical. It felt good to have Tara in my arms again.

I suppose that part of why it was awkward was that if Sharon was still here, it wouldn't have been happening. Then there's also the fact that someone else who aims for Tara's affections lives just down the street; lives with her. When she went home, she went home to him. Is she still sleeping with him?

When it was over we held each other for a long time. It's amazing how I can, at the same time, feel angry at myself for not being faithful to Sharon while not wanting to ever let Tara out of my grasp again. For her part Tara was clinging to me like I was a life preserver and we were in the middle of the Pacific.

When I was young, I wanted to be more Vulcan and not be controlled by emotions. I thought emotions sucked, and I wanted nothing to do with them. I understand again why I thought that. Emotions do suck and I hate being ruled by them

“Things weren't supposed to be like this, were they?”Tara asked as we lay there.

“What do you mean?”

“We weren't supposed to be serious. We were just together until Alex and Sharon broke up. We were just supposed to be friends, maybe with benefits. I didn't want to fall in love with you.”

“I'm sorry. We don't have to-”

“No, that's not what I mean,” Tara interrupted me, “I just mean I didn't plan on falling for you; I didn't want to be alone. You know that, that was what we agreed on, and it's what happened. I did end up with Alex, if only for a few minutes, and you ended up with Sharon.”

There was a moment of silence. I don't know if she expected me to respond to that, or if she was just gathering her thoughts.

“But now here we are together again, and... and it feels right,” Tara said, “I missed you so much out there, and someday, when I'm ready to, I'll show you how much. I love you.”

“I love you too,'' I said, and that felt right too, even though there was a stab of pain in my chest reminding me how much I love Sharon too.

What would have happened if Sharon hadn't been infected? If Sharon was still here, would Tara try to get back together with me anyway, or would she stay with Oliver? What if she hadn't stayed with Alex? What if she had been with us this whole time? Would things have been better? Worse? Would Toni and Bishop still be alive?

Beth would tell me not to dwell on these things, but as I sit here alone in the night, I cannot keep my mind from drifting to them. Beth would also say I'm being whiny, and that's probably true too. I need to live in the now, not in then, or in what could have been.

Tara and I did get dressed again, but we still lay on the couch just holding each other for a long time. What finally got us up was an air raid siren.

“What's that?” Tara said, suddenly serious.

“I don't know,” I said, and disentangled myself from Tara's thin arms. I rushed back to my room, and grabbed my laptop from where it was sitting plugged in on the desk. I also grabbed the TV tuner and antenna from the top desk drawer, and rushed back to the living room.

I woke the computer from its sleep state, logged in, and plugged in the TV tuner. While the entertainment center software started up, I plugged the antenna into the tuner card. I selected “Television” from the entertainment menu, and an image of the KVMS, channel five news desk appeared.

“-you're hearing are because Doctor Evelyn Byron has issued a city-wide alert,” said the pretty blond anchorwoman, “and she will be speaking with us momentarily.”

“Maybe it's the zeds,” I said absently.

“What?” Tara asked.

“Gerry told me that when he was on his last run, he's on Acquisitions here like he was back home, they had to abort it because they found the biggest single group of zeds he had ever seen, he said it was like a whole city worth of shamblers.”

“For those who are just joining us,” the blond started again, “The sirens you are hearing are because Doctor Evelyn Byron, our town administrator, has issued a citywide alert. We have not been given any details yet, but Doctor Byron will be speaking with us-,” the anchorwoman stopped, and put her hand up to her ear, “We are now going live to the office of Doctor Evelyn Byron.”

The image on my laptop screen changed to shown Doctor Byron, dressed in her white lab coat and an ivory colored blouse, sitting behind her desk in her office, “Hello, citizens of Lovelock. I apologize for startling you all with the siren, but there is something very important that you all need to know about.”

“Many of you already know what I am about to say, but it is important to explain this to those of you who do not.. I was not the original administrator of Lovelock; I took over for a doctor named Xavier Grimm. Xavier was not a bad person, but he made some very dark choices, choices that would not have allowed Lovelock to prosper as it has. This is why he was removed from this office, and I am here instead.”

“Grimm?” Tara asked.

“I've heard about him, not a great guy.”

“Sometime last night, Doctor Xavier Grimm murdered his guards, disabled portions of the underground laboratory security system, and escaped,” Doctor Byron explained.

“He had guards?”

“I think they were to protect him from the people in town as much as to protect us from him,” I said.

“Beth?”

“No, Beth would have said something is she had a detail like that, I know she would.”

“Unfortunately, the guards that Xavier killed reanimated, and attacked three more members of Genetitech staff before they could be put down. Xavier Grimm is now being sought for the murders of these five people. He may still be in town somewhere, if you see him, do not approach him, he is armed, instead notify a member of Genetitech Security so that he may be apprehended.”

Doctor Byron disappeared from the window on my computer and was replaced with an image of a severe looking man with longish greasy brown hair. He looked a little bit like Aragorn from the Lord of the Rings movies. He also looked like he wanted to kill someone, which I suppose he did since he had.

Doctor Byron replaced the still photo of Grimm, “I want to emphasize to everyone that they should not attempt to apprehend Xavier on their own, and I do not want him dead. I will not tolerate any vigilantism! He will be made to answer for his offenses, please trust me on this,” she pleaded, “Do not confront him, do not talk to him, just notify security so that we may take him back into custody before he harms anyone else. Thank you.”

The blond anchorwoman appeared on the screen again, now identified as Marigold Fields (that can't be a real name, can it?). As she started to recap what Doctor Byron had just said, I got up from the couch.

“Where are you going?” Tara asked.

“I'm going to make sure all the doors and windows are locked.”

“Is he really that bad a guy?”

“He killed five people, so I'd say yeah. I was told that he wanted to use people like us in experiments to try and find a cure for the Zed Virus. He wanted to intentionally infect outsiders; I don't know if you've seen what happens to someone who's infected, but it's horrible,” I realized I was on the verge of tears as I said this, so I stopped talking, and left the room.

“I've seen it,” I heard Tara say quietly, just barely audible over the sound of the laptop.

Aside from locking the door, and checking around the house to see that everything else was locked, which unfortunately meant I had to go into Pippa's pigsty of a room. How has she acquired so many clothes? I'm not sure there is even a floor under all of that.

I also took the shotgun we keep in the front hall closet, and placed it next to the door; maybe I'm being paranoid, but no one questioned it when they came home. I know it's somewhat foolish to think that Grimm is going to just knock on the front door and hope we invite him in.

I walked Tara home a short time later, I know that it's only a block, and that I can see her house from mine, and that she is quite capable of taking care of herself, but I couldn't help it. I had to act like the dominant protector male for my own conscience as much as anything else.

I noticed her limping again, something I had forgotten about when we were in the house, “What happened to your leg?” I asked.

“I had a bad fall awhile back,” Tara explained, looking down at her right leg, “and I've been like this ever since. It doesn't hurt anymore, but I still walk like a gimp. Doctor Ellis said I should make an appointment to get it looked at to see if there's anything that can be done for it, but I think the time for fixing it is long past.”

“You should go,” I said, but she didn't respond.

When we arrived at her doorstep, she gave me a quick kiss on the lips, “Thank you for being here for me,” she said.

“Thank you for coming back to me.” I said.

“So don't shoot me when I come over next time, okay?” Tara smiled to show she was half joking.

“I'll try and remember what you look like so I don't confuse you with Grimm.”

Tara kissed me again, and then turned to open the door and found it was locked, “Huh, I guess you're not the only one who's paranoid,” She knocked on the door, and after a few moments we heard movement behind it.

When the door opened, it was only a crack, and I could see Oliver Black looking through it, “Thank God, Tara, where have you been? I've been worried about you.”

“Just let me in Ollie, okay?”

“There's some killer loose in town,” he said, opening the door all the way, and glaring past Tara at me, tried to grab her arm.

Tara dodged his hand, “I know, that's why I have an escort,” she turned to face me, “You be safe, okay?”

“Of course. I'll see you later. I hope you all are comfortable here. Tell Bishop and Toni hi for me.”

Tara smiled at me, and I turned to walk back to the sidewalk. As soon as my back was turned the door slammed shut; by Oliver, no doubt. I could hear the two of them talking through the door, but decided to leave it alone; I don't want to get involved in anymore drama than I already am.

Everyone else did make it home safe; Gerry first followed later by Beth and Pippa, whom Beth had picked up from school in that ridiculous Xebra car. I guess it beats walking though, right?

We grilled Beth for details, but she didn't really have any. She knew one of the guards who had been killed, and was a little upset about that, “If I'm the one who finds that son of a bitch they're going to be taking him in feet first,” she had said.

I ended up having to walk into town to get a ride out to the gate. Beth said she would let me take the Xebra, but that she didn't know if there would be enough battery life to get me home again. I told her that it was okay since she needed it to get to work in the morning herself.

Town was quieter than normal, and Bacchus was closed. There were a lot more Genetitech Security cars driving around too, as if Doctor Grimm is going to be caught just walking down the street like a normal resident. Doctor Byron is really taking this guy seriously.

I wouldn't describe myself as afraid of Grimm, but I'm certainly being more cautious. What if he kills more people, and they rise back up? Can we take on an outbreak in town? Logic says yes, but logically we should have been able to take these things without bringing about the end of the world.

My shift at the gate was uneventful. Samit was not mad about last night, but everyone wanted to know what the relationship between myself and the newcomers is. Barbara even gave me a hug and told me she was happy for me. She's nice, but she is a bit odd.

Time to get some sleep.

Fifty-First Entry: Hello Again

2010-03-09T04:38:00.000-08:00

July 18th

Every time I think I start to get a handle on my life, the world changes things for me. Sometimes the changes are good, most often they are not, but sometimes I'm not sure what to make of them. I know what I should think, and what I should feel, and what I would have felt six months ago, but now....

I'm feeling this mixture of relief, love, anxiety, guilt, and worry. Everything I had gotten under control seems like string flapping in the wind again now. I want to be happy, but I feel like a betrayer. I feel like I'm betraying them both, and I don't know what to do about it. Thankfully Beth, Gerry, and Pippa are kind of staying out of it, and letting me figure out how to handle it, although if one of them laid everything out plain then I could just deal with those consequences and move on from there. If only life were that simple, right?

It was at the end of last week; Gerry had just come home early from an acquisition run that had to be aborted due encountering what he described as “a fuck-ton of zombies”. They were working a few towns over, and they ran into a solid wall of roaming shamblers heading straight for them.

“It was like an entire undead city was marching towards us,” Gerry explained to me.

“We could send some of those test weapons out there,” I said.

“We should nuke the entire site from orbit, it's the only way to be sure,” Gerry was trying to be lighthearted about it, but he was clearly rattled. After the fight last Halloween, I don't blame him, just thinking of that hallway full of zeds makes me uneasy, but a whole street full?

I wonder if the scientists are working on nukes, The ultimate price seems like it would be too high; fallout, radiation poisoning, turning the world into Fallout 3, etc. What would be better, death by zed or death by nuke? Some choice.

It was late evening when my world was turned upside down once again. I was at the West gate with Samit, Ciaran, Barbara, and a few others. Ciaran had spent a lot of the evening trying to chat up Barbara, who kept shooting him down mercilessly much to the amusement of the rest of us.

“Why won't you just give me a chance, Barbara? I'm really a great guy if you get to know me.”

“Well,” said Barbara dryly, “You seem like a nice guy, but every guy I've ever met whose told me they are a nice hasn't been. Plus, you don't know how to take no for an answer, and that never ends well.”

“But-” Ciaran decided to try again, but was cut off.

“You might want to give it a rest, Ciaran,” Samit cautioned him, “she has a mean right hook.”

Everyone laughed at that, including Ciaran and Barbara, although Ciraan did flush a bit under the harsh work lights around the gate.

“I think I see something,” called down one of the tower look outs, a guy with the unfortunate name of Jacob Black,” Maybe headlights.”

“Okay, everyone take positions,” said Samit as he walked over to pick up his megaphone from where he had left it on one of the construction walls.

Barbara took cover behind the same wall as me, to the right of the gate, and we both leveled our rifles on the top of the wall.

“Well this is a bit of excitement, isn't it?” Barbara asked me, grinning, “Being on the other side of the ambush and all.”

“I'd hardly call it an ambush,” I said, “We're not really hiding for one thing.”

“Somehow I think you felt differently when you were on the other side of it.”

I shrugged, “Probably, but we have to make sure they're not hostile, you know?”

“You'd shoot?” Barbara asked.

“If it seemed necessary, hell yes.”

“You'd kill another person?” she asked, and I was not sure if she was just surprised that I would do it, or if she found the whole concept repulsive.

“I have had to shoot someone I love,” I said, more sharply than I really meant to, ”so shooting someone who thinks they are going to threaten my family and my home won't even require me to think twice anymore.”

Barbara shrunk back a little, “Wow,” she said, “I'm not judging you, you know? You just don't seem like the Rambo type.”

“You've been hanging out with Beth and Gerry whenever they're free, how do you not know that I've killed people? They didn't tell you about the Postmen?”

“We don't talk about the past much, it's not one of my favorite subjects, and they haven't volunteered a lot.” Barbara said a little sadly, and then, “You killed mailmen?”

Before I could answer, Samit started calling through the bullhorn. I was so busy talking to Barbara that I hadn't noticed the car's approach, which I really should have as it was a loud old beige Oldsmobile that looked like it had been driven through a wall.

“Stop the car!” Samit bellowed through the speaker when the car was a few hundred feet away.

The Oldsmobile creaked to a halt.

“Turn off the engine, and step out of the vehicle! Keep your hands where we can see them, and you will not be harmed!” Samit commanded.

There were a few tense seconds where nothing happened, and then the car's engine died. The driver's door creaked open, and a woman's voice called out faintly in the renewed stillness of the night.

“We're getting out! We have a child with us, don't shoot!” the voice called, and it was one I knew.

“I'm not a child!” I heard a boy's voice say.

The other three doors of the car opened with similar creaking as the first, and four figures got out of the car, They were all thin, and one of them was indeed a kid, just on the verge of his teenage years. Two of the people were women, and the last was a man who was muscular despite his thinness, and I realized that I knew three of them.

I lowered my rifle, setting it against the construction wall.

“What are you doing?” Barbara hissed.

My heart was pounding in my chest, “They're alive,” I whispered.

“I should hope so. The day the ghouls learn to drive we're all fucked.”

“I thought they were dead,” I turned to look at Barbara, “I know them, well three of them.”

I stood up, and walked out from behind the wall, “Where are you going? Get back here!” Barbara said.

I started walking towards the car, “Tara?” I called, “Bishop? Toni?”

“Get back in your position,” ordered Samit, his mouth away from the bullhorn's mouthpiece.

“I know them!” I told him as I passed, now at a gentle jog, “Don't shoot, I know them.

The driver, Tara, my Tara, thin, her hair now streaked with silver, and wearing a denim shirt that I would never have imagined her in, called my name questioningly in return, and started forward from the driver's door of the Oldsmobile. She was limping with her left leg.

“Cover him, but don't shoot!” Samit ordered the others as I moved away from them.

Tara met me about three quarters of the way to the car, “Is it really you?”she asked, and then threw her arms around me before I could answer.

I was afraid to hold her too tightly. She felt so fragile in my arms, but also so familiar. My mind was racing; I had cheated on her, but I had thought she was dead. What happens now? Do we pick up where we left off? Do I tell her Sharon and I got married? Do I push her away? Is she even still interested in me like that?

Tara answered the last question for me by pulling out of my arms and then kissing me full on the lips. I won't lie, her breath was horrible, but her kiss brought memories flooding back to me, and the first time in longer than I can remember, I started to cry.

Tara saw the tears start to pour out of my eyes, and her eyes started to water up too. She grabbed me in another hug, and together we wept. In that moment I was not crying just because she was still alive and in my arms again, but because of everything I should have cried about in the last eight months.

I cried about losing Tara, and Sharon, and Maria I cried about losing Mallville as my home. I cried about killing Merritt Sokolenko. I cried for Milton, and Rupert, and Alex. I cried for Sharon's illness, and her recovery, and her telling me she loved me, and for shooting her in the head, and for burying her.

I cried for all of the pain, and fear, and misery I've felt since last Halloween; I cried for all the happiness and love I've felt since then too, and in those couple of minutes of crying it was like a lead weight that had been implanted in my heart was suddenly gone. A heaviness I have felt for so long now that I had pretty much forgotten was there was suddenly gone, and even though I now face a new series of problems and questions, in that moment I felt like my old self.

“I thought you were dead,” I said, breaking our embrace again, “I thought you died in the explosion.”

“I was still upstairs when it happened,” Tara explained, “but I knew you guys made it out, I just never thought I would find you.... Are you all here?”

I shook my head sadly, “No, Maria and... and Sharon didn't make it. It's just me, Gerry, and Beth.”

Tara wiped the tears from her face, “Oh God,” she said, “I'm sorry.”

Behind Tara I could see Toni and Bishop Rogers standing with man I did not know. It looked like Bishop wanted to come join us, but Toni was holding him back.

“Did,” Tara swallows hard, and started her question again, “Did you and Sharon ever...?

I could have lied, but I know that would just have caused more problems later. Besides, Tara deserves better than that from me, “Yes,” I said quietly, “I didn't know you were alive, we both thought you were dead, and Sharon was sick, and she got better, and it just sort of happened,” I rambled, hoping she wouldn't ask for details.

Tara looked hurt for a moment, and then took my right hand in hers. She was thinking for what seemed like an eternity, but what must have only been seconds, with my hand clutched in hers, “I don't-” she started and stopped, “I... Is... Do...?”

She was crying again, and I knew what she wanted to ask, but I couldn't say it either. I was speechless.

Finally Tara managed to form a full question, “Is there still room in your heart for me? I know I'm not her, and I know it was our agreement that if you ever got the chance, you could, but is there anything left of us? Do you still love me?”

“If you had been with us, everything would have been different,” I told her, “If I had even know you made it out, things would have been different. You have always been in my heart.”

That was no lie; I can only begin to imagine how things would have been different, but they certainly would have. I try not to think about stuff like that anymore, there's nothing to be gained by it.

“So... you want to try again?” she asked, as if we had broken up for a short period of time instead of each thinking that the other was dead.

At that moment I didn't know what I wanted. God had answered a prayer, and I didn't know how to react to it. Would I be disrespecting Sharon's memory? One thing I now knew for sure was that all of those dreams I had were just my own subconscious bullshit, not messages from beyond.

“Yes,” I said, “I would like that.”

She pulled me to her again, and we held each other for awhile longer before Samit, apparently tired of being ignored, interrupted us with the bullhorn.

“I'm glad you guys are reunited and all, but if we can follow standard procedure, you'll have plenty of time to catch up later,” Samit sounded a little annoyed, but also embarrassed to be witnessing the whole thing.

Transport was summoned, and our escorts turned out to be Justin Lassit and a female officer named Melissa Elroy. I was allowed to ride to the hospital with Tara, Bishop, Toni, and the man that was with them, who I learned was named Oliver Gusteneaux. Oliver, or Ollie as he prefers to be called, is also from Mallville.

On the van ride to the hospital Tara gave me a quick overview of what happened on Christmas Eve. She stayed with Alex until he passed, and then decided that she should at least try to save the Trevors and the Rogers. Insert Coin wasn't far from where Alex had been shot, so she started that way, and then the explosion happened.

Tara told me that the explosion knocked her off of her feet, and when she looked back, the area where our firefight had happened was nothing more than a blazing inferno. She thought that we had all been killed in that explosion. She was shocked when I told her that Jimmy did it.

Continuing on to Insert Coin, Tara found that the fighting had passed on from there, and that the Trevor's, the Rogers, and a few others had closed themselves up inside the store to try and stay out of it, but Bryan had been shot; he didn't make it.

They stayed inside the store overnight, and Tara led the other survivors out in the morning before getting completely overwhelmed by the zeds, picking up anyone they came across on the way. They fled Mallville on foot through an out door that had had its gate rolled up by someone for some unknown reason.

“We hid out in Covenant during the winter. We stuck mostly to the suburbs, because I knew we hadn't done much scavenging there,” Tara explained to me, “There were almost twenty of us at first, but some wanted to go their own ways, and some... some didn't make it.

“We ran into your friend with the chainsaw, Ash. He said that he had seen you guys, that all of you had made it out, and were heading north, but he couldn't remember where you had said you were going. I was afraid I'd never see you again.”

“I suggested we try for here,” Toni told me, “I mean, we didn't know what to do, but once it started to warm up and the zombies came back in force; well, we had to leave. I knew that Genetitech would have a disaster plan if anyone did, and was hoping that maybe there was still something here.”

That's why the name Lovelock sounded familiar to me! Toni and Bryan had told me they were from here. She had been the meteorologist on one of the TV stations. I wondered if it was the one that was still running.

“It seemed like as good a place as any to try for in any case, so we've been on the road until tonight,” Tara said, “Is this place really safe?”

“Safer than Mallville was,” I said, “Doctor Byron, you're going to be meeting her, she's odd, but she's really nice, and she really seems to care about everyone in town. I'm sure she will welcome you guys.”

When we arrived, Justin escorted us up to Doctor Byron's office. Polly's desk was vacant due to the hour, but Doctor Byron's door was sitting open, light streaming out of her office.

“Please, come on it,” Doctor Byron called, as if she psychically knew that we were there. I took me a second to realize that she must have been following our progress through the hospital on the security cameras.

Justin led us into Doctor Byron's office, and just like the first time I met her, she was sitting behind her desk in her lab coat (although she wore a dark blue blouse under it this time, making her pale skin seem even paler) as if it were perfectly normal for her to still be working this late in the evening. Then again, maybe it is; there's no reason she couldn't play Seventh City from here.

“Thank you, Justin,” Doctor Byron said once we were all inside her office, “I will escort them from here.”

“Yes, Doctor,” Justin said smartly, and turned to leave.

“So these are friends of yours?” Doctor Byron asked me.

“Yes, Doctor, they are from Covenant as well.”

“From Mallville?” She asked.

“Yes.”

“That is marvelous!” Doctor Byron exclaimed, “This is the first time we've had anyone be reunited here. Well, let's get on with what we need to, and then we can get you all to our physicals, and to your new home, provided of course that you want to stay.”

“I'll wait out here, if that's okay, Doctor” I said motioning to the outer office.

“Of course, I wouldn't expect you to leave,” Doctor Byron said in her normal dreamy voice, “but I still wish you would call me Evie outside the game as well.”

Tara gave me a questioning look, but there'll time to explain that later.

I took a seat on the couch in the outer office by the window. It seems so amazing to me to look out over a town now and see it lit up like the world used to be. It's not the same as the view from Alisdair's bell tower, but it is just as beautiful in its own way.

I took off my sword and satchel, pulled out my journal, and have been writing since then. When food was brought up for the rest of them, the nurse that brought it (I did not see her name tag) brought me some as well.

“Doctor Byron thought you might be hungry as well,” the nurse explained.

It was the same tofu salad that we had when we first arrived, and it brought back the memory my first night here, and I started crying a little again. I hope I'm not going to be all weepy like this from now on. I think I may have liked being unable to cry better.

They've been in there for well over an hour now, but I guess we were in there for a long time when we first arrived too. I hope someone told Pippa, Beth, and Gerry where I am so they don't worry; I should actually have been home a little while ago.

I think I'll play some solitaire while I wait. To think, people used to mock me for keeping playing cards in my bag. You should always be prepared because you never know when nothing is going to be happening.

So thirty minutes of playing solitaire later, Doctor Byron leads Tara and the others out of her office. I quickly put on my sword and satchel and followed them out into the hallways and down to the same part of the hospital that she took my group to when we first arrived.

Maybe he was just tired, or maybe it's just because he doesn't know me, but I noticed Ollie kept looking at me oddly as we walked. Tara walked next to me, but she did not try to hold my hand or anything.

“I've still got your DSi,” Bishop told me, “It's in the car, and it still works.”

“How have you been using it?”

“I charged it up when we were driving in cars. I took one of the car charger kits before we left the store. Is that okay?”

I almost facepalmed. Why hadn't I thought of that?

“Yeah, that's fine. It's not like I'm ever going back to the store again,” I said, “You keep it, just take care of it, okay? “

The curly haired Doctor Ellis was waiting for us at the same nurse's station as before, but instead of waiting with Doctor Selznick, she was waiting with Doctor David Phillips, a broad shouldered doctor with short black hair. The two of them were playing cards.

“Well it's about time,” Doctor Ellis said in what had to at least be partly mock annoyance.

“You pulled us out of poker night for this,” Doctor Phillips added, also seeming to be at least partially joking.

“I will leave you to your examinations, and arrange for your new living accommodations,” said Doctor Byron, “I assure you that you are in capable hands.”

“Come on,” said Doctor Phillips, abandoning his cards on the counter top, “Let's see how healthy you all are.”

Doctors Phillips and Ellis led the others down the hall to the examination rooms, and Doctor Byron pulled me aside, “We need to talk.”

I got worried, as it was the first time I'd ever seen her looking really focused and serious, “Yes, ma'am,”

“You're not in any sort of trouble, so calm down,” she said, reading the look on my face, “You and Tara had a relationship before, is that correct?”

“Yes, Doctor.”

“Does she know about you and,” she had to pause to think for a second, “Sharon, correct?”

“Yes, Doctor, her name was Sharon,” I answered, “and sort of. I told her that Sharon and I did have a relationship after we left Mallville, but I didn't tell her we were married.”

“Do you think the two of you will try and resume your relationship now?”

“I don't know... probably.”

Doctor Byron nodded, “Psychology is not my specialty, but I would suggest you get everything out in the open as soon as possible; both of you. I really don't have a lot of experience with relationships, but I do know that secrets will come back to haunt you later.”

“Yes, Doctor.”

“Don't look so worried, I'm sure you'll do the right thing. Your friends hold you in too high of esteem for you to not be that kind of person.”

“My friends?”

“Beth, Gerry, Pippa, even young Bishop there seems to have a high opinion of you. I think the only person you know who doesn't respect you is you, but it seems like you are doing better. I still think some counseling would do you good though,” Doctor Byron looked at me curiously, “However, I am still not going to force you. Now if you will excuse me, I do have a little more work to do before turning in today. I do like it when new people come to town.”

With that, Doctor Byron patted me on the shoulder, turned, and pressed the button for the elevator. When the doors opened, she turned, stepped in, pressed a button and a gave me a finger twiddling wave as the doors closed.

Left alone again, I went to the waiting area that I met Gerry, Beth, and Pippa in after our own doctor's exams. Did it take this long for our check-ups? Does this mean that there is something wrong with them? They did look thinner than we did when we got to town.

I'm at home now. Shortly after I wrote the last paragraph I heard footsteps coming down the hall towards me. It was Gerry, Beth, and Pippa.

“Is it true?” Gerry asked, “Is Tara really here?”

“Yes, she's been alive all this time,” I answered.

“Wow, that is great!” Gerry said, smiling wide.

“Are you okay?” Beth asked.

“Yeah, why?”

Beth looked at me like I said something stupid, “Why do you think? Your old girlfriend, one of the people you have been pining over since we got here, suddenly turns up and you wonder why I'm asking if you're okay?”

“I'm fine.”

“Did you tell her? About you and Sharon I mean?” Gerry asked.

“I told her that we were together until....”

“Bet you didn't tell her you got married,” Pippa said, almost a little cruelly.

“No, but I will when it seems right.”

“I'll tell her!” Pippa volunteered.

“You will not,” Beth snapped, “The three of us are going to keep our mouths shut, do you understand?”

“Yes, Beth, but-”

“No buts!” then to me, “You need to tell her, especially if you are going to try and pick up from where you left off,” she seemed annoyed. In fact, Gerry is the only one who seemed genuinely happy for me, but then he's also the only one who really was around me when Tara and I were together.

Before I could ask Beth why she seemed upset, a door opened down the hall, and Tara came out of one of the examination rooms, “Gerry? Beth?” she asked, seeing them, “You're really here!”

Tara tried to run down the hall towards us, but it was more of a fast limp. When she got to where we were all standing she gave both Beth and Gerry hugs, and stroked each of their faces.

“Oh my God,” Tara enthused, “It's so good to see you guys.”

“It's good to see you too, Tara,” Beth said, she looked and sounded genuine; all signs of her previous annoyance were gone.

“I'm sorry to hear about Maria,” Tara said to Gerry.

“She went out on her own terms. I can only pray that we all get to do that,” Gerry said. It was the first time I'd heard him say something like that. In fact it's probably the first time I've heard him mention Maria in over a month.

“And who is this?” Tara asked, looking at Pippa.

“This is Pippa Webster,” I said, “She joined up with us a few months back. Pippa, this is Tara Lafferty.”

“It's nice to meet you,” Pippa said in a voice far less convincing than the one she used a couple of weeks back when she said she wanted to meet Tara, but thought she was dead, “So you two were an item? You're like old enough to- Ow! What the hell?”

Beth had kicked Pippa in the shin. “Pippa sometimes doesn't think before acting,” Beth explained.

“That's fine. I'm sure I must look awful,” Beth had failed her saving throw; Tara had instantly gone into her ice-queen mode, and was looking at Pippa funny, “There's not a lot of hotels with hot showers and all-you-can-eat buffets open out there anymore.”

“You do look like you've had a rough time out there,” Beth agreed, trying to defrost Tara, “but I'm sure a nice hot bath and a few days of regular meals and sleeping in a bed will fix you right up.”

You know what I realized at that point? Beth was like the mom to our group. If I am Pippa's brother then Beth is our mom. She has spent so much of the last seven months trying to keep us all going, mediate fights, and just generally keep us from splitting up or killing each other, and I had never once thanked her for it. I am a real asshole sometimes.

Tara softened a little, “Yes, It'll be nice. Is it true that the whole town has power and water?”

“Yes, and local internet, and TV, and alcohol.”

“Doctor Byron told us about the TV station; apparently it's the one that Toni worked at. Maybe she'll be able to get her job back.” Tara said,

We talked while we waited for the others to come out. Tara made sure that everybody was introduced to everybody else, but she never fully warmed up, and she kept looking at Pippa, who didn't say much of anything the rest of the time.

Bishop was the next one out of his examination, followed by his mom, who gave me a hug when she joined us. I had to introduce her to Gerry and Beth as well as Pippa as she didn't know either of them from Mallville. Oliver was the last one to join us.

Of course if Pippa and Tara kept trading odd glances at each other, then Oliver, who was also kept pretty quiet, was trying to drill a hole through me with his eyes. Is there something between him and Tara? Is there nothing, but he wants there to be something? I have no right to be jealous or suspicious, but that doesn't stop me from being a bit of both.

It doesn't help that Ollie is blond haired, blue eyed, handsome, and well-muscled as opposed to my rather less impressive build. I may not be fat anymore, but even as thin as he is he looks like he stepped out of a lifeguard calendar, as where I look like I stepped out of the Think Geek catalog.

Shortly after the examinations were over, a blondish Genetitech Security officer, who Beth greeted as Ben, arrived to take Tara and her group to their new home. He led them back towards the elevators.

Before leaving, Tara gave me a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek, “Can we talk tomorrow?” she asked.

“Of course,” I said, “I'm sure we have a lot to catch up on.”

Tara smiled, “We do. I missed you so much, you don't know how it feels to find out you are here and still alive. I keep expecting to wake up from this dream,” she hugged me again, “You have a good night then, I'll see you tomorrow.”

Once Tara, Toni, Bishop, and Oliver were gone, Beth let out a weary sigh, “Okay, lets go home.”

“Beth got a car!” Pippa said happily.

“A car? How did you do that?”

“Don't be so impressed. I just filled out some forms and was issued one. Trust me, it's nothing to be impressed by.”

Beth was right. The car was anything but impressive. It looked like an older white 4 door compact car, except that it only had three wheels in a tricycle configuration. The markings on it identified it as a Zapcar Xebra, and that it was property of Genetitech Laboratories. I had seen a couple of them around town, but never paid them too much attention.

“Umm, wow,” I said, trying to not sound underwhelmed.

“Yup,” Beth agreed, “She's fully electric, has a top speed of about 38 miles an hour, and barely enough battery to get us home with. See why I said not to be too impressed?”

“I didn't know these things even existed outside of shows on The Discovery Channel before we got here.”

“I don't think most people knew, but hey, if it gets us around Mayberry, right?” Gerry said.

I shared the backseat with Pippa, cramming my satchel in my lap, and my sword on the floor between my legs. Not all that comfortable, but it beats walking home; it was kind of cold tonight.

“You dated her before Sharon?” Pippa asked as we drove.

“Yes,” I said, “Sharon was seeing a man named Alex, who was Tara's boss. Tara and I started hanging out, and things went from there. You know all of this.”

“But she's old!” Pippa exclaimed.

“She's a few years older than me, yeah, but she's not old.” I said.

“She has gray hair!”

“She didn't then,” I explained.

“She's too old for you, you should find someone your age.”

“She's the same age as me, Pippa,” Beth commented from the front seat.

“No way! She looks like she's in her forties! You still look young.”

“What about me, do I look young?” Gerry asked, trying to keep things light.

“Be nice to her, Pippa,” I said.

“I liked Sharon better.”

That hurt me. I turned to look out the window as my newfound tears threatened to break free again. I wanted to say a lot of things; things like, “You don't even know her.” and “Well Sharon's gone!” and “Shut the fuck up!”, but instead I didn't say anything.

“Pippa, leave it alone, please,” Beth said, “Don't make me stop this car.”

“I'm just saying-”

“Pippa!” Beth snapped.

The rest of the trip was made in silence.

When we got home, Beth pulled the Xebra into the garage, and plugged it in while the rest of us went into the house. Pippa went to her room without a word, but Gerry stopped to talk to me.

“What are you gonna do?” he asked.

“I don't know; just wait and see what happens, I guess.”

“If you want to get back together with her, don't wait. You already know what happens when you wait.”

“Yeah, Gerry, I do.”

Gerry patted me on the shoulder, and then went to his room. I waited for Beth to come in.

“Beth?” I said as she tried to pass me on the way to her bedroom.

“What?” she said, sounding tired and annoyed.

“I just wanted to thank you.”

Beth's expression changed to one of puzzlement, “For what?”

“For being there for me.”

“For coming to pick you up? It's not a big deal, I wanted to see her too.”

“No, in general. I realized tonight how much work you put in to keeping us all together, and thought I should thank you. You seemed like you needed some attention.”

Beth smiled, “You guys are my family. You're all I have, and I know you understand that. I'm sorry if I seemed a little short earlier, Tara just worries me.”

“Why? You don't like her?”

“I like the her I know, but none of us are the same person we were last year. What if she's changed? What if she hurts you? What if you hurt her? You got married while you thought she was dead, so what was she doing during that time? How is she going to react when you tell her the details about you and Sharon?”

“I'm just happy knowing she's alive; I'll be fine whatever happens.”

“Will you?” Beth took a breath, steeling herself for what she would say next, “This is going to sound bad, so please forgive me. The person I lost in all of this, back at the start, it is easier for me to know that they are dead than it would be if... this person was up walking around, living in this town, and weren't with me anymore. Now you're a strong person-”

“No, I'm not,”

“Stop that! You are strong, but I don't know if you're that strong. Whatever happens, just please don't go back to the way you were in June.”

“I will be fine, I promise you.”

Beth nodded, “Just be careful with your heart and hers. I'm going to get some sleep. You should too.”

“I will soon,” I said.

“I know, after you write it all down in your diary,” Beth gave me a quick hug, ”I'll see you in the morning.”

So is Beth right? Have Tara and I changed too much to be compatible anymore? Is she in a relationship with Oliver? Is that why she was shooting daggers with his eyes? Am I just setting myself up for more pain?

I'm on the late shift again tomorrow, so I guess I'll have all day to talk things over with Tara. Whatever becomes of it, I will not go back to being mopey and depressed. Things are as good as they are ever likely to get for me again right now, and I am not going to squander that.

Even here in Lovelock I could still die tomorrow, or next week, or next month. I may not see another Halloween or Christmas, and I am not going to spend anymore time feeling sorry for myself; I am not going to waste even one more day being miserable.

Whatever happens tomorrow with Tara, I will survive.

Hey, hey.

Fiftieth entry: Field Trip

2010-02-23T04:47:00.000-08:00

July 5th

The last week or so have been good. I am feeling a lot better since I put those things away, and good things seem to be happening as a result. I know the glasses, and the present, and stuff are all still there, but not seeing them everyday isn't as hard as actually being able to see them was. I've also been spending more time with Pippa while Gerry is out on runs and Beth is down in the labs doing her training. It's been nice, and I've not felt creepy, which is also nice.

Gerry came back from a run on Thursday with a present for me. He had been home for a couple off hours when he came into the living room where I was reading (“1984”, if you're curious), and dropped a large purple gift bag on the IKEA-esque coffee table.
I lowered my book, and asked, “What's that?”

“It's your birthday present. Happy birthday!” Gerry said, and I saw Pippa come into the room from the dining room where she had been on her laptop.

“It's not my birthday,” I said.

“Well, I figure I have known you for more than a year, and I've not seen you celebrate your birthday, so we must have missed it at some point. That's from Beth too, by the way, but I didn't want to wait for her to come home from training.”

“Is she okay with that?”

“If she's not, tough,” Gerry grinned.

“You didn't have to get me any-”

“Open it!” Pippa cut me off with a gleeful cry.

I dropped my book onto the coffee table, and took the bag; it was heavier than I expected. In the bag was a relatively plain looking cardboard box with the FutureTech Computers logo on the side. I pulled the rectangular box out, and set it on the coffee table.

“Is this?” I asked.

“Yup,” Gerry beamed, “Now you and Pippa can play together.”

I let any obvious replies to that go since they would just make me look bad.

I opened the box and found wrapped in the plastic and styrofoam inside was a shiny black laptop emblazoned with the FutureTech FT logo.

“How did you get this?” I asked as I unpacked the folder of instructions and the power cable.

“We brought a bunch back with us on the last run, and as I am sure you remember, being on the Acquisition Team has its advantages,” Gerry said, “You might want to look in the bag again.”

I looked in the gift bag, and at the bottom of it was a shrink wrapped copy of Seventh City Online. It was the deluxe version that came with a headset for voice communication in game and a superhero action figure.

“I figure you'll need that too.”

“Install it! Install it!” cried Pippa.

“You really shouldn't have,“ I said, feeling embarrassed.

“It wasn't all my idea,” explained Gerry, ”and I expect you to do a better job of sharing than Pippa does.”

“Hey!” Pippa protested.

It's a nice laptop, and it might even fit in my satchel if I cleared some of the crap out of there. It's even got a little television plug-in for it that can pick up Lovelock's one TV station, not that I watch the news much, but it's nice to have the option.

I installed the laptop's battery, and plugged it in. The laptop booted up perfectly and I went through all of the first time use stuff. Register? No. Sign up for free online backup service X? No. Subscribe to virus protection software? No. Sign up for internet service provider X? No.

Finally I was able to get the computer onto Lovelock's wifi, and install the game. Once it was running Pippa hovered around me while I created my character.

“Your nose isn't that big, and you're not fat like that!” Pippa protested.

“Who says it's me?” I said.

“It looks like it's supposed to be you. Look!” Pippa pointed at the screen, “You even gave him a scar over his eye like yours. Come on, do it right! No fatties!”

After decking him out in an all black suit, a black fedora, and a pair of steampunk-looking goggles Captain_Noir was ready to hit the streets of Seventh City. Rushing through the tutorial, I selected his powers (telekinesis, strength, and enhanced healing), and left the tutorial area.

On the street outside the starting area I found a couple of people waiting for me, Super-Pippa, a tall female in a bright red bodysuit, and Evie_of_Destruction, a pale woman in a flowing white dress and cape who hovered about a foot off the ground and glowed, casting light onto the street and buildings around us.

“Hello, Captain Noir,” Evie_of_Destruction said, and I recognized the voice immediately; it was Doctor Byron.

“Doctor Byron?” I asked into my headset.

“Now now,” Evie_of_Destruction cautioned me, “Let's try to stay in character.”

I checked out Doctor Byron's character and found that she was maxed out at level ninety-nine. Pippa on the other hand was at level twenty, and of course I was a mere level two (you gain a level in the tutorial for choosing your starting abilities).

“I know that you have been having some trouble connecting with people since you arrived here,” Evie_of_Destruction, “So I was hoping that you might be able to form some connections here. I hope you do not take offense.”

A little bit, yeah, but that's not what I said, “No doct-... Miss Destruction”

Evie_of_Destruction sighed, “Will you please, in here at least, call me Evie?”

“Get him!” a voice called from behind Captain_Noir, and there was a gunshot. A red “-10” appeared over his head. I spun my character to see three men in raccoon masks and black and white striped shirts firing pistols at me.

A red beam shot past me as Evie_of_Destruction fired her eye beams, and sent all three of the low level NPCs flying against the wall of a building with a red “-1542” appearing above each of their heads. They hit the ground and faded away.

“Well, I have a raid to go to. I hope the two of you have fun, just make sure this does not interfere with your other responsibilities. Now if you'll excuse me,” and with that Evie_of_Destruction shot up into the sky and out of sight.

Pippa and I played well into the night, and I was at level thirteen before we stopped. I've never been much of an MMO player because I didn't like the subscription model. I was afraid that if I was paying a monthly fee I would feel obligated to play it at the expense of playing something else. I've seen “Second Skin”, I know how addictive these games can be, but this was a lot of fun.

My week of goodness continued the next day when, instead of standing around at one of the roads into town I got to go a field trip. I was invited to help stand guard while the scientists tested out some of their anti-zed technology. Most of the guard was composed of Genetitech Security (including Beth), but me, Zack, and a handful of other civilian guards were along just in case.

The reason for the heavy security presence is because they do not test these things in town We actually drove to a town to the east called Harlan because we needed a supply of zeds to test on. Honestly, I doubt the claim that there are not zombies kept down in the labs for testing on, but I don't suppose bringing them out into town would not be a very good idea.

Our caravan of trucks, cars, and vans drove quickly along the road that had been scouted out in the morning to make sure that it was still clear and intact, and arrived at Harlan early in the afternoon.

The testing field was the baseball diamond at Harlan East Middle School. This was not the first time that they had used this location, as there was already a cage built out of chain link fencing out in right field with three active zeds locked in it, and a large fence had been erected around the entire field to make sure no one could accidentally walk into the testing area. I was told that they've been using this place for awhile, and the lack of active zeds in the town would seem to be evidence of that.

I only got to witness three of the tests, but I did get to meet Zack's wife, Margaret, and the two guys she works with. Grant Vang, a youngish looking man with short black hair, and James Carraway, a balding man with a ridiculous handlebar mustache who wears a newsboy cap. Vang and Carraway are both absolutely insane, but the machine of theirs betrays genius beneath that insanity.

Doctor Byron was with us, wearing a loose white blouse and slacks and carrying a wide white umbrella to keep the summer sun off of her sensitive skin. The whole exercise seemed to be a mix of the progress on these items being demonstrated for Doctor Byron, and a morale boost for the scientists who have spent I don't know how long working on them. It was all quite impressive really.

The first demonstration I saw was built by Doctors Hutchins, Vang, and Carraway; it was something they called Da Vinci's Scythe Wagon. It looked more like something from the old Battlebots show than any design of Da Vinci's I've ever seen though. It was a box about four and a half feet tall with tank treads at the bottom. The wagon was topped with, just as Beth had described it, what looked like a two layered helicopter prop. One of the props was set at around five and a half feet, the other at about five feet, and each of the blades was actually a curved scythe made of gleaming metal.

The scythe wagon was driven out onto the baseball diamond by a large remote control that Doctor Vang was holding. When he got it to the pitchers mound, Doctors Carraway and Hutchins went out and tinkered with it; I think they were undoing some sort of safety device on the propellers. When they were done, they both quickly moved away from the machine.

“Safety is off!” Doctor Carraway hollered.

“Wagon is live! I repeat, wagon is live!” Doctor Vang yelled in response.

Hutchins and Carraway got to the gate in the fence, and closed it behind them as the scythe wagon's blades started to spin. It was like looking at a giant rolling food processor.

“Release the subject!” Doctor Hutchins called.

The door to the cage with the three zeds in it out on the field slid open, and the zeds shambled towards freedom, but the gate slid shut again before more than one of them could get out. The ghoul started shambling towards where the majority of us were standing outside the fenced off area.

The scythe wagon turned and started rolling in the direction of the zed, its whirling blades throwing off glints of sunlight. The wagon was slow, a normal person could probably outrun it, but it was faster than most of the zeds I've ever seen. Doctor Vang drove the wagon around in front of the zed, and then charged it head on. Whatever motor the doctors used in that thing must be incredibly strong because it tore through the zed like it had been made out of paper. The scythe wagon tore off the zeds head and left arm and shoulder before the creature even had enough time to fall to the ground.

“I am impressed,” said Doctor Byron, “And what kind of battery life can we expect off of these?”

“At full power, around ninety minutes,” answered Doctor Vang, “However without the weapon employed the scythe wagon can travel for approximately four hours.”

“And does it need to be controlled locally like this?”

“No, Doctor,” explained Doctor Hutchins,” The wagon is fit with video cameras, and can be controlled from the vault in what we expect to be about a six mile radius.”

“Very nice,” Doctor Byron.

At that moment something hit the fence next to me, One of the blades from the scythe wagon had broken loose and launched itself in my direction. The fence stopped it in a small shower of sparks, dropping it to the ground harmlessly. That did not stop me from flinching far too late to have saved me, tripping over my own feet, and falling onto the brown grass. The impact of my sword against my back momentarily knocked the wind out of me.

Out on the field the scythe wagon now wobbled dangerously, thrown off balance by a missing blade, “Shutting down!” Doctor Vang called out, and the blades started to slow.

“Are you okay?” Doctor Byron called to me as I got back to my feet.

“Yes, Doctor, just surprised,” I said as I brushed dust and bits of dead grass off of my jeans.

“I think there is still some work to be done,” Doctor Byron judged, “but I would very much like to see your progress. You are cleared for one more month of work, but at that time I want to see your balance situation resolved. “

Doctors Vang, Hutchins, and Carraway came over to me, “Hey, I am totally sorry about that, man,” said Doctor Vang.

“That's what the fence is for, right?” I said, trying to seem less freaked out by it than I really was.

“It is,” said Doctor Carraway, “but sometimes I think that we maybe need something more... substantial.

“I think,” announced Doctor Byron, “that we are going to need more test subjects. Justin, please take Beth and a couple of the citizen guard with you to gather some.”

“Yes, Doctor,” a tanned man with a buzzcut in a black Genetitech Security uniform snapped, “Officer O'Hara, pick two people and meet me by the cars.”

I had started doing a bit of daydreaming when I felt a hand on my shoulder, “Come on, lets go,” Beth said, and kept walking.

“What are we doing exactly?” I asked.

“Gathering test subjects, you know, zeds, zombies, animated corpses, soulless, ghouls, etcetera. You don't think I would let you hang out here and miss fun like that, do you?”

“No, why would you?”

We walked over to where the cars and trucks that had made up our caravan were waiting. Officer Justin Lassit and Beth's other civilian pick were already standing there by a large black Genetitch Laboratories delivery truck talking. I was surprised to see that the other person Beth had chose was Barbara Rosenberg; I hadn't even realized she had come out there with us.

“O'Hara and I will take the truck, you and Rosenberg will follow behind,” Justin said to me, “Stay close; I don't want to have to waste any time looking for you, okay?”

“Yes, Officer,” I said.

He seemed to think for a moment, and then said, “Call me Justin; If O'Hara thinks you're okay to call her by first namse, then you should be okay to call me by mine, okay?”

Justin and Beth got into the large truck while Barbara and I took a small blue Prius. Barbara asked me to drive, and I did not see any reason to disagree. Two uniformed officer opened the gate to let us out of the fenced in area and into the seemingly abandoned town.

One thing I noticed as we slowly drove through town was that all of the stores looked empty, as in totally cleaned out. Some stores looked like they had been broken into while others looked untouched, but every one of them looked like it had been cleaned out down to the walls. Clearly Lovelock's acquisition teams were a lot more thorough than we were in Mallville.

“So you're Gerry's friend, right?” Barbara asked,” I mean you live with him and Beth and that girl, right?”

“Yeah,” I answered, “We traveled together for a long time.”

“Gerry told me,” Barbara, “You guys were lucky to have each other. I would have killed for someone to talk to on the road.” she clutched her Annihilator tool in her lap while she spoke.

“I would'nt be here now if it wasn't for them,” I said.

“I'm lucky to be. Everyone I ran into out there was a complete asshole. There was Barry, he was a coach at the school I taught at; you know I was a teacher, right?”

“Yes.”

“Well, he tried to force himself on me at the end of the first month, and that... that didn't end well.”

“Wow, I'm sorry,” I said, not sure how to reply to that.

“Then there were these pricks that thought they were vampires. I got away from them by escaping in the daylight.”

“They thought they would burn up or something?” I asked.

“No, they were afraid of seeing each other as they really were. They said they were ugly in daylight. I wanted to point out to them that they weren't exactly fashion models in the dark either,” Barbara took a deep breath, “I wish I could have been with your group, it sounds like you guys had a better time of things than I did.”

“It wasn't all great,” I said, “We lost some people... some really important people out there.”

“Oh, yeah, huh? Gerry told me about your wife. I'm sorry about that,” Barbara said a little awkwardly.

“It's no one's fault,” I told Barbara, like I tell myself every day now, “I'm finally starting to move on now.”

“But you still miss her, huh?”

“I miss everyone I've lost, but she is certainly at the top of the list,” then, trying to change the subject a little, “but I'm sure you miss people too.”

“Yeah, I do,” Barbara said, and then stopped talking.

It was about fifteen minutes of seemingly random driving before The black truck slowed to a stop in front of us. I saw Justin and Beth hop down, Beth was pointing her vicious looking assault rifle (Beth tells me it's an FN F2000, which is good because it keeps me from having to just refer to it as a futuristic-looking gun) at something in front of the truck that I could not see. Justin motioned for me and Barbara to get out of the car and come over to him, and then slid up the back door of the truck up.

“Help me with the ramp,” Justin said as I jogged over to him, and together we extended a ramp from the back of the truck to the ground. As I handled the ramp I could feel cold air flowing out of the back of the truck, and realized that the inside of the back was refrigerated' this truck probably hauled produce or meat or something in the old world.

The inside of the back of the truck gave me pause. About two feet in from the edge of the truck was a cage wall with a sliding gate on it. On the walls of each side of the truck were four seven foot long metals poles, two to each side, with metal cable dangling from each. Even though this stuff didn't look anywhere near as amateur, it still made me think of the Hell's Postmen and their cage truck. The fact it was refrigerated was to make the zeds more sedate once they were inside the cage, which was something I'm sure the Postmen would have wished they had thought of.

Justin climbed into the back of the truck, and pulled one of the metal poles out of the bracket that was holding it to the wall, and tossed it down to me. I caught it, but not without one end clanging against the surface of the street. At one end of the pole the cable was bolted down , and looped so that the rest of the cable was threaded through the pole. About two feet from the other end of the pole the wire came out through a hole, allowing the user to tighten noose at the other end. There was also a metal clip to lock the cable in place once your target had been caught in the noose.

“Okay, so I know this is the first time doing this for either of you,” Justin started, “but I also know that you must know how to handle yourselves around the ghouls or you wouldn't be here now,” Justin pulled another of the poles free, and tossed it down to Barbara who caught it much more smoothly than I did.

“What we're going to do is simple. We need to catch some ghouls for the brains to test their projects out on. Now we don't want to waste the meds sedating them,” Justin pulled a third pole loose to demonstrate with, “so one of you just needs to catch the ghoul's head in the loop, pull it tight, and then lock it in place with the little clip down there by your hand,” he pointed at me.

“Once you've done that, then the other needs to catch the ghoul in their own loop, and do the same. Then you both just guide them up the ramp, and into the cage, there's an open space on the gate for the poles to go through when we close the door. Once we have the ghoul secured in the cage, unlock your loop, and slide it back over their head, and the cold will take care of the rest.”

“What do we do if there's more than one of them?” Barbara asked.

“Beth and I will be covering you. If you're in danger we'll take care of it,” Justin said, patting the rifle hanging from its shoulder strap and resting on his hip.

“If we want to take this one alive, you'd better get to it, “ Beth called from around the front of the truck, “I'm going to take it down if it gets much closer.”

Moving to the front of the truck we found a male zed about twenty feet away; it was shambling a direct path towards Beth, who kept the barrel of her gun trained on it. The zed was pretty short, maybe five and a half feet and was wearing a filthy white button up shirt. It's left arm was missing, the sleeve of his shirt ending in maroon tatters. A bear? Are there bears up here? Do bears eat zombies? Can a bear become a zombie (to that, the answer is apparently no; Zack Hutchins told me that the virus/bacteria/whatever doesn't seem to spread between species while I was drinking and telling my tale in Bacchus later... thank God for that).

Catching the zed was fairly easy; Barbara went around one side of it, and I went around the other. We were able to capture its head easily enough, and hold it stable between us to maneuver it around the back of the truck and up the ramp.

The gate of the cage was automatic, and Justin opened it by pushing a button that I had not noticed on the side of the truck. I noticed that he had to put a key into it first, which is probably meant to keep anyone from accidentally releasing the zeds. Getting the nooses off of the zed's neck once it was safely locked up took a bit of work though; we didn't have a lot of room in the gate's gap to move the pole around, but in time we figured it out.

It took about an hour to gather up eight zeds, and most of that was just finding them. Previous rounds of experimentation have pretty much cleaned out Harlan of its undead infestation. It's too bad we can't just chip away at all of them like this.

We got back to the middle school in time to see two white coated scientists spraying down a flaming zed through the fence with fire extinguishers. Hell, I could have told them that setting the things on fire was a bad idea.

Since we had captured the zeds, we were spared the pleasure of having to re-rope the now sluggish zeds and remove them from the back of the refrigerated truck and into the holding pen. The warm summer sun seemed to revive them pretty quickly, but not before they were safely locked up again in the holding pen..

The last two tests of the day, there had only been five planned and we missed the second and third, were both quite interesting. The first was some sort of microwave gun (I did not catch the proper name). It looked like a big square satellite dish mounted on the roof of a van.

When the door to the holding pen slid open, two zeds managed to get out before the door slid shut again; a male and a female. They startled their shuffling job towards the truck, and the satellite dish tracked the the whole way.

Once the zeds no longer had the holding pen behind them the dish activated (I guess, since I didn't hear any noise). In seconds both zeds started smoking; their skin appeared to dry out and start to crack like the meat in a TV dinner put in the microwave for too long. A couple of seconds after that they stumbled and fell to the ground, smoke and steam drifting up off of their well done corpses.

“It can cook a turkey in a minute too,” said the scientist working the gun by remote, Doctor King, earning him a good round of laughter.

The final one was probably my favorite, they called it the Vortex Ring Gun, and it was also truck mounted, though to a pickup truck this time. The device looked kind of like a super-sized grenade launcher, although unlike the microwave gun this one was controlled directly by a Genetitech Security officer.

When a zed was released into the testing area it charged the fresh meat atop the pickup, but when it was maybe twenty meters away it was suddenly thrown off of its feet by an unseen force. The zed tried to get back up off of the ground, but was flattened, as if pounded by an invisible giant's fist. The zombie did not try to get up again.

I did not get to hear the explanation behind how this gun worked, so I don't know if it was sound or air pressure, or what, but it impressed me. I can only imagine what we could have done with something like that back at Mallville. Of course I can also imagine what Kaur would have done with it too.

Over all Doctor Byron said that she was very pleased with the progress everyone was making, and that she looked forward to seeing what else people came up with by next month's test. I hope that I'll get to go on that one too.

On the ride home I ended up in a car with Barbara, and two guys named Ciaran Monroe and Christian Whitehall. Ciaran, our driver, kept hitting on Barbara the whole drive home.

“Would it be okay if I were allowed to buy the fair zombie wrangler a drink at Bacchus?” Ciaran asked.

“Well, okay,” I said, “but you're not getting past second base on the first date.”

Christian and Barbara laughed at that, and I'm pretty sure Ciaran turned red, but I could not see him clearly from the backseat.

“I meant Barbara,” Ciaran said, a little bitterly.

“One,” retorted Barbara, “the drinks at Bacchus are free, and two, I'm sorry if I offended you.”

“Whatcha mean?” Ciaran asked.

“Well in some countries giving somebody a glass of that wood stripper would be considered a hostile act.” Barbara explained. Ciaran laughed perhaps a bit too hard at that.

Barbara puts on a good front, but I think she's uncomfortable being flirted with. Maybe it's just that Ciaran was trying too hard. The problem can't be that she's not used to being hit on because she is quite attractive.

Don't get me wrong; even though I do find Barbara attractive I have no interest in her. I need to be with myself and my adopted family for awhile now, and I don't know if I have room in that part of my heart for anyone after Tara and Sharon.

We did end up at Bacchus that night, and Barbara and I sat at the bar and watched the others act far more foolish than two glasses of even stuff as strong as Milly's specialty could possibly get you. Zackariah did a pretty mean rendition of “She Blinded Me With Science”

SCIENCE!

Of course the crowning jewel of the last week was yesterday, July Fourth. Last year I spent the holiday pretty much considering suicide, but this year was so much better.

For Fourth of July Doctor Byron had a picnic put on in the park at the center of town. She wanted to do a barbecue, but that requires meat, and the best we could come up with on that front were apparently canned whole chickens and Spam. Grilled Spam is actually not bad, but the canned chicken was not so good. It's not that the chicken actually tasted bad, but more that it didn't taste like much of anything. Who thought that canning whole chickens was even a good idea?

Aside from the grilling there were vegetable and fruit based dishes that were good. Fruit salads, pies, cakes, all good stuff. I think the whole town turned out for it even though the sky was cloudy and kept threatening to rain..

You can really tell how much Doctor Byron cares about this town; she really tried to create a sense of the world before. If it weren't for the fact that most people carry weapons of some sort with them all the time it might be a little more convincing, but I'm not complaining.

Pippa and I took part in the three legged race, but lost out to Zack and Margaret Hutchins. Actually we lost to a lot of people, including Barbara and Beth. It probably would have been easier if I had just carried Pippa.

Beth and Pippa forced me to join in on a baseball game. It was civilians versus Genetitech staff. You would think that beating the scientists would be easy, but they also had security officers on their team (although Beth was allowed to play on the civvie team), so it evened things out a lot. In the end we won thanks to Beth hitting a grand slam home run in the eighth inning.

It probably would have helped if I were any good at sports, but I'm not. I did manage to make it to base twice though, and even crossed home plate once thanks to Gerry hitting a long one into left field. He says it's from his days in the major leagues, and you don't forget batting skills like that once you learn them.

There was live music on the park's bandstand. The first band was a group of scientists from the labs who called themselves The Ionics. The other was really just three teenagers called Maneki Neko and th Ch'an Chu. It was fun; Beth made me dance with her some more.

Later in the afternoon the wind picked up, it got colder, and rain seemed a near certainty, but very few people left. I don't think they wanted the illusion of normalcy to end. Going back to our homes and watching the one TV station would just be a reminder of that.

Luckily it never did rain, and the clouds actually worked in our favor. There were no fireworks, but there was still a light show. Someone from the labs built some laser projectors (or maybe they just already had them for some reason), and the clouds became the canvas for a fantastic laser light show. Nothing exploded, but there were still plenty of “oohs'” and “aahs”in the park that night.

Like I said, it's been a really good week. I only wish that Tara, Alex, Sharon, and Maria could be here to enjoy it with us. I'm not going to let that get me down though; I wouldn't want them to be all mopey like I've been if things had gone differently.

I'd better stop now; I was supposed to meet Pippa in Seventh City 20 minutes ago. Captain_Noir is level 22 now.

I never thought I would be able to say this again, but I actually feel pretty happy; like I could live happily ever after if things could just stay the way they are right now.

Forty-Ninth Entry: Dance Alone

2010-02-09T04:37:00.000-08:00

June 25th

I have to say it, I like it here. Doctor Byron and people of Lovelock have done a great job of recreating the world as it was before. It's not a total recreation; I mean people are wandering around with weapons, and nobody pays for anything with money (in my head I keep hearing Wolf News anchors screaming about communism), but the overall feel is there. The atmosphere is certainly not as fearful as it was in Mallville.

Pippa has started going to school again, and she seems to really like it. She tried to get me to help her with her homework a couple of times, but this stuff is beyond me. I got off the math train after geometry, it's all foreign language to me after that.

I was a little surprised last week to come home and find Pippa using a laptop computer. It wasn't so much that she had one as what she was doing with it that surprised me. Far from doing any sort of homework on it, she was playing a video game, Seventh City Online, an MMO.

“Is that Seventh City?” I asked.

“Yup!”

“How are you playing that?” I ask, knowing that the servers had to have gone down with everything else.

“Lovelock has its own server. There's not a lot of players, but then there's not much kill stealing either. It balances out, sort of.”

I guess this makes sense. This is a town originally populated mostly by nerds, so some of them must have used one of those hacks that let you make your own private server. I wonder if I could find a good game of Shadowrun to join?

“How did you get a laptop?” I asked.

“School. It's to do work on, but you know, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy!”

“Is there anything else online?”

“Just local stuff. Nothing outside of town is accessible. I'm afraid your days on Facebook are still over, although there is a local Twitter server.”

“So are you going to share that computer with the rest of us?”

“Mmmmaybe. If you're nice to me,” Pippa answered teasingly.

“I'm not sure if that's worth it then.”

We've not seen very much of Beth these last couple of weeks. She has been in training with Genetitech Security, and has only been home this weekend since she started. She says that things are going really well, but it is wearing her out a little bit.

Gerry has also been gone a lot. He's only been home about one night out of every three, as Lovelock's acquisition runs are multi-day affairs involving truckloads of equipment. I'm sure that by now they are having to go quite far to even find stuff worth taking.

Gerry tells me that they are a lot less discriminating about what they take. They don't go out just looking for food and clothing, but hardware, chemicals, metal, and pretty much anything else not nailed down. He says he's trying to get them to take me on one, but I don't know if I would want to leave Pippa here alone.

As for me, well I've been doing a lot of standing around with the other guards at the gates talking. I don't really fit in with them though. None of them are even remotely geeky and it makes me miss Sharon and Tara just that much more.

Even at home I feel like I'm sort of an outsider. I can hear Beth in my head telling me what bullshit that is, but I don't really think so. Maybe it's just because it's me and Pippa on our own for the most part, and I've felt a little awkward around her ever since the morning after Sharon died.

Of course that is my problem, and I need to get my shit together and not be taking that out on Pippa. I think I understand why Pippa did it in a way that I couldn't at the time, and while it would never cross my mind to do something like that for a number of reasons, she did mean well.

In the time I've been at the gate we have had only one new survivor come in. I guess this is good though since it means that people are still out there, and that us and Alisdair's group are not the only people left in the world. I wish we saw more survivors though, and that we had seen more on our own trip here.

I am on afternoons right now, so basically at the hottest part of the day, working under the supervision of a man named Samit Linde, who was a high school football coach back in the before. He's a nice guy, but his jock and my geek don't mesh all that well. Still we manage to stay friendly.

It was right near the end of our shift at the east gate when one of the spotters, Gordon, called down that something was coming towards us. We readied ourselves and found that the something was a girl on a red bicycle. She had a head full of curly brown hair, and was wearing a pair of motorcycle goggles. Her skin was shiny with sweat.

As she approached, Samit raised his bullhorn and called out to her, “Please get off of the bike, and keep your hands where we can see them.”

The woman slowed to a stop, and got off the bike. She slipped the straps of the bulging camouflaged backpack off of her shoulders and let it drop to the surface of the road. I could see a long black object hanging from a belt holster on her right hip, it looked like a small pick ax.

“Are you going to shoot me?” the woman asked.

“Not unless you give us a reason to,” Samit answers,” Please remove any weapons, and come forward slowly.

The woman reached behind her back and slowly pulled out a pistol (I'm not sure how she thought she would be able to get to it if she needed to with that massive backpack on), and placed it on the ground. She then pulled the black pick-ax looking thing (it's called an Annihilator, I was told later, which is most certainly appropriate) from the loop on her belt, and placed it on the ground next to the gun.

With her hands in the air, the woman started moving towards us, pausing after each step like she was walking down the aisle at a wedding.

“You don't need to walk that slowly,” Samit says.

“And you don't need to keep pointing, what, four, five guns at me? You put down the guns and I might be more inclined to most faster.”

Samit raised his hand to signal the rest of us to lower our weapons. We did, but I still kept my gun half raised, not so much because I thought the woman a risk, but because I want to get into a habit of doing that. I'd hate to get killed because someone outdrew me.

The woman closed the distance between her and Samit, and stopped just beyond his reach, “So, you guys don't really look like soldiers; what is this place?”

“You didn't come here intentionally?”

“I am here intentionally in as far as I don't want to be where I came from, but I wasn't aiming for here specifically. I just got on my bike and headed in the opposite direction of the zombies, you know? It was a hell of a ride too.”

I was a little surprised at how unafraid she seemed of us. Beth, Gerry, Pippa and I handled it pretty well, I think, but we were coming here intentionally. To just stumble upon a guarded roadblock and not seem to even be scared though; I was in awe.

“Well you are safe now. My name is Samit Linde, and this is Lovelock,” Samit motioned behind him with the bullhorn. I think he was trying to be dramatic, but there's nothing really to see past the gate except for road. It's about half a mile to the actual town from there.

“I'm Barbara, Barbabra Rosenberg, and the first person to make that stupid Night of the Living Dead joke gets punched, got it?”she said, looking around at the rest of us as we came out from behind out cover.

Samit grabbed the walkie talkie off of his belt, “Base, this is Linde. I have a newcomer out here. A female, says her name is Barbara Rosenberg.”

“I will alert Doctor Byron. Transport is being dispatched,” replied to woman on the other end.

While we waited for Genetitech Security to come pick up Barbara, Samit gave her the spiel about how her items would be gone through for anything contraband, and would be delivered to her assigned residence. When he was done with that we all introduced ourselves to her. It turns out she's from Montana, and has ridden across two states to end up here. She told us about a large group of zeds that seemed to be moving as a single flock, and how she felt the best place for her to be was somewhere they weren't.

Barbara told us that before the end she was an elementary school teacher, and after the end she was the last survivor amongst her friends. I asked her about the pick ax thing, an that's when she told me the name of it. She said she found it in a hardware store, and that it is meant to be a demolition tool, but with a flat hammer head, a bladed prybar head, and a spike at the bottom of the handle that it works really well on zeds; even better than a normal crowbar. I want one now.

Before security showed up, our shit change came around, and so did Zack with his crew for the evening shift. He pulled up with his five people in a white minivan, and parked it next to the one that Samit would be driving us back to town in.

Getting out of the van, Zack approached us and the newcomer, “Hey, I heard that we had someone new,” he looked at me, “Between your group and her it looks like we may be at the start of a population boom, eh?” then to Barbara, “Name's Zackariah, but everyone just called me Zach.”

“I'm Barbara, Barbara Rosenberg.”

“Oooh,“ Zack exclaimed, and then in what was meant to be an eerie voice “They're coming to get you, Barbara.”

Barbara is quick; I guess when you deal with grade schoolers for a living you have to be. Before anyone could stop her she had lashed out with her right fist and socked Zack in the face. I don't know if she just hit that hard, he's that bad in a fight, or he was just taken by surprise, but the hit caused him to stagger back, lose his balance, and fall on his ass on the surface of the road.

“What the hell?” Zack asked, more confused than angry, as Samit, and a couple of the others ushered Barbara away from him.

Despite that incident, it looks like Barbara will be staying here in Lovelock, at least for awhile. I saw her around earlier tonight.

In one of her many attempts to create a sense of normalcy and community here in Lovelock, Doctor Byron has a dance held at the high school once a month. I went tonight, but only because I was forced to.

I was sitting at home this afternoon reading when I heard the front door open. Pippa was in her room using her laptop, and Gerry was in the shower having just gotten home from an acquisition run that had lasted three days. At first I didn't realize who it would be coming through the door.

“Hey, is anybody here?” I heard Beth's voice call.

I heard the door to Pippa's room slam open, and the thundering of teenaged feet as she ran through the house, “Beth!” she cried.

I head Beth say “Oomph!” as Pippa undoubtedly pounced on her.

I rose from my chair in front of the empty fireplace, and went to the front door to find Pippa and Beth hugging, “Do you two want some privacy?” I asked.

Pippa released Beth, “Perv!” she yelled at me, “So are you done now?” she asked Beth.

“No, but I am off for the weekend. I have to report back on Monday,” Beth said, sliding a blue gym bag off of her shoulder and dropping it onto the entryway floor, “So what are we up to? Were you going to the dance tonight?”

“I am!” Pippa shouted, “I have a date!”I think that moment is the happiest I've seen Pippa look since I've met her. She looked even happier than when we found the record collection.

I raised an eyebrow, “A date?” I asked, “That's the first I've heard of that.”

“I didn't know I was required to tell you,” Pippa said, a little snottily, “You'll meet him at the dance tonight anyway. Gerry's going to.”

“Sounds great, I'd better go and start getting ready then,” then Beth looked at me, “You're going, right?”

“I thought I'd skip it this time,” I answered.

“You will not! All you do is sit around this house and work.”

“How do you know? You haven't even been here.”

Beth just looked me in the eyes, “Tell me I'm wrong.”

“You're not, but I still don't want to go. It'll just be depressing. I don't want to dance alone.”

“You'll dance with me then,” Beth said.

“What about Gerry?”

“What about Gerry? You guys can share me if you want. It's just dancing.”

“I can't dance,” I said, basically just making excuses now.

“I've seen you dance, and no you can't, but you manage.”

“Beth, I don't-”

“So it's settled. Go get ready,” Beth said and gave me a quick hug while whispering, “Don't make me kick your ass.”

Beth grabbed up her gym bag again and smiled, “I've missed you guys,” she said, and headed for her bedroom.

So with that settled I went back to my room and tried to find my least smeggy things to wear. I decided on a black button up over a grey t-shirt and jeans. I'm eventually going to have to find some nicer clothes if I am going to keep up the illusion of living in civilization again.

I stood there alone in my room for awhile looking at the relics of Tara and Sharon. I wish they were here, then I would have someone to dance with. I held Tara's Christmas present and Sharon's glasses in my hands for awhile until it felt like a small black hole was forming in my chest. I probably would have sat there all night if Gerry hadn't knocked on the door then.

“Come on man, we're leaving, and Beth says if she has to come get you, you'll be sorry.”

I placed the items back on their shelves, took a deep breath, plastered a smile on my face, and opened the door. I must not have been as convincing looking as I had hoped I was.

“You okay?” Gerry asked when he saw me.

“Yeah, I'm just not really looking forward to this. The last dance I went to was prom, and that was with Sharon. We sat there and made fun of people for most of the nights, and she spent probably as much time dancing with other guys as with me. It ended with her getting drunk and puking out the side of the limo.”

“Sounds magical,” Gerry said.

“It was,” I said, “I have always kind of regretted it as a wasted opportunity though.”

“Well no more wasted opportunities for us! Beth wants to dance, and we need to see what kind of a boy Pippa is dating.”

“Are you drunk?” I asked.

“No! No!” Gerry protested, “Well maybe a little.”

The dance was a fairly no frills affair. There was a fog machine and lots of flashy lights, but none of the paper streamers or balloons one expects from an old fashioned high school dance (or at least the way TV shows used to portray them). There was a table with a big bowl of fresh lemonade though, and that was quite quite awesome.

The gym was crowded, I swear that half the town was there. I found Beth, Gerry, and myself some seats off to one side of the gym as soon as we got there. Beth had no intention of letting me sit though.

“Get your ass onto the dance floor!” Beth ordered.

“Beth, no..”

“Yes, dance with me, dammit! I want to talk to you,” and then to Gerry she said, “and if you don't find someone to dance with I'm coming back for you next!”

Beth dragged me, quite literally, onto the dance floor. The music was some fast-paced funky song that I've never head before, and I was able to find the rhythm pretty quickly and settle into that dance where your feet never leave the floor and you basically are just swinging your arms and hips.

“So how are you doing?” Beth asked me over the din of the music.

“I'm doing okay, I guess. You?”

“I'm great! It's so great to be back into a disciplined routine, and you should see the weapons they get to use. Kaur would have sold his left nut for this stuff.”

“Wow,” I said, not knowing what else to say.

“So have you met anyone yet?”

“I've met lots of people.”

“Any prospects?”

“You mean a relationship? No! I'm not looking for that.”

“Why not?”

“It's not even two months!” I exclaimed, getting angry now, “Why do you even care?”

“Because I care about you. You're a good guy, and you deserve to be happy.”

“I was happy.”

“I know, and someday you'll be happy again. No one is ever going to replace Sharon or Tara, but you do have a place in your heart for someone, and if you refuse to look for that someone yourself, I'm going to help you.” Beth smiled, but there was a wicked twinkle in her eye. Suddenly she was looking past me into the distance, “Hey, who is that that Gerry's talking to?”

I looked, and saw that Gerry had gone over to the drinks table and was chatting up none other than, “Barbara Rosenberg; she's new in town. I hope Gerry doesn't make any Night of the Living Dead jokes.”

“Oh, is she the one that popped Zack Hutchins? I heard about that; she gave him a black eye.”

“Yeah, she's quick.”

“She's kinda cute,” Beth said thoughtfully, “I mean I'm not digging the whole Little Orphan Annie hair thing, butshe's cute. I met his wife, you know? Margaret, she's nice, but she works with a pair of maniacs. They are building something that looks like a go-kart with helicopter blades on it. The younger guy, Grant, he says it's for sending into large groups of zeds. I would love to see it in action.”

“You seem really relaxed,” I observed.

“You think so? Maybe it's just that I feel we're safe now, you know? I've got a family in you guys, and a home, and a job again. Maybe I just feel like I am whole again.”

“Or maybe Gerry shared his stash of booze with you?”

“Maybe that too, yeah.”

The song ended and a really slow version of Beyond the Sea started. I took a step to leave the dance floor, but Beth grabbed my sleeve and yanked me back, “Where are you going?”

“To sit. The song ended, so it's Gerry's turn, remember?”

“It would be rude of me to interrupt his conversation. You'll just have to keep on dancing.”

“It's a slow song.”

“I don't have cooties,“ Beth pulled me close, “Just keep your hand on my back, okay?”

“Beth,” I whined.

“Don't make me lead.”

I put my arms around Beth, and held her at as great a length as I could manage, but she pulled me against her, and we started to sway back and forth.

“This is making me uncomfortable,” I said.

“It shouldn't. There's no reason you cannot dance with me. Nothing is ever going to happen between us; I promise.”

“I'm not sure that makes me feel any better.”

Beth laughed, “Hey, is that Pippa over there?” she pointed across the gym.

Yes, it was Pippa and she was dancing with her boyfriend. I felt my blood surge a little bit seeing the guy holding her in his arms. He was one of those greasy little slicky boys with close shaved hair and the weak moustache that makes it look like he's been drinking used motor oil.

“You want to loosen up a little?” Beth asked, pulling away from me, “You hold me any tighter and we're going to combine into one person.”

I hadn't realized how tightly I was holding her then, and loosened my grip, “Sorry.”

“So what was that? Is that the big brother wanting to protect his little sister, or was that just jealousy?”

“Okay, not funny. You know I don't have feelings like that for her.”

“I also know it gets you worked up,” Beth said with another laugh, “I'm sorry, I shouldn't be being so mean to you.”

I sighed, “No, it's okay. I think you're helping actually.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Thanks for putting up with me.”

We danced together for the next four or five songs in silence. It both felt good to hold Beth in my arms, but at the same time it made me miss Tara and Sharon even more. It should have been one of them in my arms, not Beth. We should have all made it to Lovelock together.

I noticed during the last song that we danced, “I'm Too Sexy”, that Gerry and Barbara had started dancing together. They both looked like they were having a good time together. I'm happy for him. I'm not sure what exactly there was between him and Maria, but if he can move past that, then I am truly happy for him.

Of course that does leave me as the only one of us still waiting for the next shoe to drop, but then I've always been a worrier (or whiner as Beth puts it) anyway. Maybe I should put those things away. Tara's books, and that Darth Vader head; Sharon's sword, and glasses, and the little ape. I don't know if I can do it though.

When “I'm Too Sexy” ended, Beth finally relented and lead me off the dance floor over to the refreshments table. She grabbed a lemonade and handed it to me, and then took a cup for herself.

“So how are you feeling?” Beth asked.

“Lonely,” I answered honestly.

Beth frowned and sighed, “What am I going to do with you?”

“Give up on me and let me be miserable in peace?”

“Not a chance,” she smiled.

Someone spoke our names from behind us, and we turned to see what I first thought was a ghost. But the flowing white figure was not a spirit; it was Doctor Byron dressed in a long white dress with a flowing white shawl that combined with her pale skin and hair to make her have more than a passing resemblance to Casper.

“Doctor Byron,” exclaimed Beth, “I did not expect to see you here.”

“I always put in an appearance at the dances, Beth. It would be very hypocritical of me not to,” Doctor Byron took a sip from the cup of lemonade in her hand, “I hear your training is going well. It sounds like you will be an asset to the division.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” Beth replied, smiling.

“Evie, please. And how are you adjusting to your job?” Doctor Byron asked me.

“It's a lot of standing around and talking, but it certainly beats being on the road.”

“I'm sure that it does,” Doctor Byron agreed, “but don't underestimate the importance of it. Not only are you our first line of defense against the animated corpses, but you are one of the first faces that newcomers see when they first come here; like Barbara over there,” Doctor Byron motioned in the direction of where Barbara and Gerry were still dancing.

“Of course, ma'am, I'm sorry.”

“No need to apologize, I just want you to know that you are appreciated. Everyone here needs to know that they are both important and appreciated,“ Doctor Byron said, “lthough I do still think you should talk to a counselor about what you have been through.”

“Everyone's been through the same stuff, Doctor.”

“True and untrue. While we have all experienced the same or similar events, we all have experienced them differently; we have all been effected by them differently. There is no reason to be ashamed for needing to talk about it. Still, I will not force you,” Doctor Byron took another sip from her lemonade, and started to walk away, “Have a good time, you two.”

“You want to dance some more?“ Beth asked.

“Actually, can we go get some air?”

“Sure, let's go,” Beth threw an arm around me, not like a lover, but like a friend, and we went outside.

Once in the warm summer night air Beth released me, and took a deep breath in and let it out in a contented sigh, “For the first time I really feel like things are going to work out for us.”

“I wish I felt that way.”

“I wish you did too, but we're not going to give up on you; Sharon would be mad at me if we did”

“Is that why you're doing this?”

“I promised Sharon that I would make sure you're okay, and you're not yet. Until you are okay, you're stuck with me.”

“So I'm a pity case?” I asked.

“No, stop that! You're-”

A voice cut Beth off; Pippa's voice, “Richard, I said no!”

“Pippa?” I said to Beth, and she nodded, her body tensing.

Beth and I quietly, but quickly, moved in the direction of Pippa's voice.

“Richard, stop it! I'm not ready!”

Coming around a pair of large shrubs we found Pippa and her boyfriend, Richard, sitting on a relatively secluded bench. Richard was kissing her neck while trying to slide a hand up under her pink skirt. Pippa was using both her hands to try and push his away.

“Come on, Pippa, just for a little bit.”

“No, stop!”

Richard didn't stop; instead he used his free hand to try and pull her hands away from her own lap and into his. Pippa groaned and struggled.

I felt rage build up inside me, and I stormed forward. Far from trying to stop me, Beth was right behind me. I got to the bench first, and Pippa saw me coming, “What are-”

Before Pippa could finish her question, I had Richard by the back of his shoulders, and yanked him off of Pippa and off of the bench, “Hey man!” Richard squawked as I spun him around to face me. I shoved him backwards.

Richard stumbled back right into Beth's waiting arms. She caught him, and the shoved him back to me. I caught him by the front of his shirt, and pulled it upward to bring him closer to my face, “The young lady said no,” I growled in what I think was pretty passable as menacing.

“Fuck you!” Richard said defiantly.

I had a good grip on him, and started walking, half pushing, half dragging him as I went. I shoved him through the bushes, onto the sidewalk that rings the gym building, and hard against the wall of the gym, “If I ever see you near Pippa again, my friend over there is going to make earrings out of your testicles.”

Beth came up beside us, and pulled out a pocket knife (from where, I do not know since her dress didn't appear to have pockets). She waved it in the air a little while she smiled. I'm not totally sure, but I think Richard may have pissed himself at this point.

“The next time a girl says no, you should listen, Dick,” Beth said, and her voice was oily and tinged with humor.

I pulled Richard away from the wall, and knocked him back into it again, “Now get out of here, and try to enjoy the rest of your evening.” I released his shirt, and he nearly collapsed to the ground.

Richard regains his balance, and quickly ran away, rounding the side of the gym and going out of sight.

I turned to Pippa who was still sitting on the bench, “Are you okay?”

“You asshole! That's my fucking boyfriend!” Pippa yelled, rising from the bench.

“Your fucking boyfriend needs to learn the meaning of the word 'no',” I said evenly.

“Your fucking boyfriend needs to learn some respect,” Beth added.

“Oh my God! Why do you hate me?” Pippa shrilled, and it was like she had slapped me in the face.

All the rage had drained out of me in an instant, “I don't hate you.”

“Then why are you so mean to me? Why do you avoid me? You won't spend any time with me, and now Richard's never going to talk to me again, and he's gonna tell everyone I live with a couple of psychos! I hate you, you're ruining my life!”

Pippa turned and ran off into the darkness.

“I'll go talk to her, okay?” Beth said.

“Yeah, sure, “ I said, feeling stunned.

“It's okay,” Beth reassured me, “You did what any good big brother would do. It's hard raising teenagers.” She smiled at me, and then ran after Pippa.

I stood there for awhile before walking home. I couldn't get over what Pippa said, “Why do you hate me?” Did she mean it? Did she really think I hate her? I will admit that I have kind of been avoiding her while it's been just the two of us in the house, and I really cannot explain why that is.

When I got home I went to my room and lay down without even changing. I lay there in the dark staring at where I knew Sharon and Tara's things were even though I could not actually see them; I laid there and felt sorry for myself.

Beth is right, I know she is. Sharon wouldn't want me to be like this, and neither would Tara. They would want me to try to go on with my life. I know all this, but I still can't seem to shake myself of these feelings. I don't want to try to get into a new relationship; I couldn't bear losing someone else.

Maybe that's the real reason I've been pushing Pippa away. Not because of the incident in bed, but because I'm afraid of growing too attached to her? It certainly makes more sense... and makes me feel like less of a pedo.

I lay there struggling with those thoughts for a couple of hours before I heard the front door open and close at around eleven. I didn't go out to greet them. I could hear the three of them talking, but couldn't make out what they were saying.

About twenty minutes after that there was a knock on my door, “Are you in there?” Pippa asked.

“Yeah,” I said, “you can come in if you want, but leave the light off.”

The door opened, and light from the hallway illuminated the room for a moment before Pippa closed it behind her.

“Why are you sitting in the dark?” Pippa asked.

“I'm thinking.”

“What about?”

“Things. Me. Us. What kind of life it is I am leading.”

“Can I sit?”

“Sure.”

I felt Pippa sit down on what, for the lack of a better word, I shall call my bed. She crawled up next to me, and lay there, “I don't hate you,” she said.

“I don't hate you either.”

“I know. I'm sorry I said that stuff. I know you were trying to help me out. Richard was being a creep. You only did it because you love me.”

“Did Beth tell you to say that?”

“No, but she did point it out to me. She must be getting old, it took her two blocks to catch up to me,” Pippa giggled.

“Well you did have a head start, and she was wearing heels.”

“So why have you been avoiding me if you don't hate me.”

“That's what I have been thinking about.”

“Is it because I call you a pervert?”

“No. I don't think of you that way.”

“Then why?”

“I think it's because I'm afraid I'll feel too connected to you, and if something were to happen to you I wouldn't be able to cope. If I keep you at a distance, like Maria, I won't be hurt as much.”

“You're afraid something will happen to me like it did to Sharon?”

I shrugged in the blackness, “I think that might be part of it, yeah.”

“What if I promise that nothing will happen to me?”

“Don't make promises you can't keep,” I said, “but I will try to not push you away anymore; just don't do things that make me feel creepy.”

I felt Pippa reach an arm across me in the dark, and hug me, “You don't like feeling like a pervert?”

“This would be exactly the sort of thing I mean,” I answered.

Pippa didn't let me go, instead said, “I miss Sharon.”

“So do I, Pippa, every single day. Her and Tara both.”

“Was Tara nice? You made her sound kind of bitchy.”

“She was. I don't think I do her justice on paper. I think you would have liked her too.”

“I wish I could have known her.”

“I wish you could have too,” I said, “You need to stop reading my journal though.”

“I like reading it. I makes me feel like I knew you and Sharon before. It helps me understand you when you won't talk to me.”

“It's private, Pippa. I'm not writing it for anyone but myself... at least not for anyone else until I'm gone.”

Pippa didn't reply.

We lay there for a long time in silence, and I again was left to my thoughts of how I had wasted time with someone I care about because of my own stupidity. That ends though; I'm going to spend more time with Pippa, and we're going to be more like a proper family. I will not push her away anymore, I will not make her have to sneak in to this book to try and understand me better.

I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew it was four in the morning and she was gone. I'm glad she didn't sleep in here with me, I would not want to put up with the crap that something like that would get me from Beth and Gerry. I'm glad that Pippa came to talk to me though; I may have kept acting like an ass until it was too late otherwise.

It's about five-thirty now, and I think I'm going to try and get some more sleep. First I am going to put away those things. I can keep my memories, my artifacts, of Sharon and Tara without needing to see them every time I open my eyes. I'm not getting rid of them, and I'm not forgetting the two women who loved me, but I'm not going to live in the past either. Of course I'm not going out looking for love either; it's just way too soon for that.